She had planted the seed seven years into our marriage as I was finishing seminary. At the time, I was exiting a phase of my life perhaps best described as “worship pastor bro.” My Christian faith was undergoing a meticulous and scholarly deconstruction. I could begin to imagine a life without God, but with my new, expensive master’s degree in theology, I struggled to imagine a career without Him.

By contrast, Corrie’s turn away from religion a year earlier had been quick, uncomplicated and annoyingly joyful.

One night, seven years into our marriage, she said, “Do you ever wish we had slept around a bunch in college before getting married?” Corrie was a fiery social worker whose face could never hide what she felt — annoyance, attraction, embarrassment. Behind this question was an expression of excitement.

I stared at her in disbelief. By “college” she meant the Bible college where we met, both of us in student leadership. It was the kind of Christian university that prohibited dancing.

Like many of our peers, Corrie and I married the summer after graduation. We were in love, but we were also motivated by our desire to explore that part of the human experience marriage would finally sanction: sexuality.

“What? No!” I said, incredulous, but quiet enough not to wake our then-5-year-old daughter. Still, her newfound liberation was infectious. Soon we were naming all the classmates we might have hooked up with, given the chance. As it turned out, for Corrie, they were mostly women.

Thus began a game we would play, called, “Do you think they’re hot?” One of us would pause the TV show we were watching or gesture slyly at a neighboring table, then look at the other with arched eyebrows. The Venn diagram of who we each found attractive were two separate circles, except for a sliver of overlap occupied by Jennifer Lawrence in “The Hunger Games.”

Gradually, the game took on a more serious tone as Corrie’s type came into clearer focus. “How about them?” I would ask, nodding toward a particularly androgynous woman. “Do you think they’re hot?”

Corrie started identifying as bisexual, then pansexual, then queer. It was hard to know how to feel about her transformation. On the one hand, it became harder to place myself and our heterosexual marriage on the new map of her sexual interests. On the other hand, the more freedom she felt to explore her fantasies, the more erotic energy she brought into our relationship. After years of being fairly disinterested in sex, Corrie was finally turned on. Just not by me.

It was after an episode of “Orange is the New Black,” the Netflix show featuring incarcerated women — many of them lesbians — that Corrie said, “I wish we hadn’t gotten married so young. I don’t regret marrying you, but I regret that I never got the chance to explore first. What if we had that chance now? Both of us.”

It hurt. It was the first time we talked about divorce. Neither of us wanted to end our marriage. But the idea of opening it also felt wrong — or it did to me.

Like Corrie’s embrace of atheism, the prospect of having other partners seemed uncomplicated to her. Non-monogamy was a sign that our marriage was strong and could withstand threats. Plus, the idea of me with another woman somehow excited her.

By contrast, the thought of her with someone else sent my mind spinning. I imagined them being able to satisfy Corrie in a way that I couldn’t. I wanted to be enough for her, but I also didn’t want to be an object of regret or a gatekeeper to her happiness.

We started seeing a couple’s therapist who specialized in non-monogamous relationships. And then we started seeing other people.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5544320&forum_id=2/#47771053)

By contrast, the thought of her with someone else sent my mind spinning. I imagined them being able to satisfy Corrie in a way that I couldn’t. I wanted to be enough for her, but I also didn’t want to be an object of regret or a gatekeeper to her happiness.

We started seeing a couple’s therapist who specialized in non-monogamous relationships. And then we started seeing other people.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5544320&forum_id=2/#47771069)

Spoiler: He's a gay man

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5544320&forum_id=2/#47771096)

It was after an episode of “Orange is the New Black,” the Netflix show

It was after an episode of “Orange is the New Black,” the Netflix show

LMAO are civilization is done here

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5544320&forum_id=2/#47773190)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5544320&forum_id=2/#47773339)

I’m sure that just “randomly” popped into her head

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5544320&forum_id=2/#47773378)

also, i didn't expect there to be a link - thought this was another tree man post

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5544320&forum_id=2/#47773614)