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Hypo: Michigan names YOU next head football coach. How many wins in 2026?
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Date: December 17th, 2025 11:30 AM Author: effete piazza mediation Michigan names you its next head football coach, starting today. Assume the athletic department and boosters support you as much as they would any head coach.
How many games would you win in 2026? Their schedule is below.
Twist: How many games would you win if all of their 2026 HS recruits still come and no one flees to the portal--except a small handful of relatively unimportant players leaving for playing time or similar reasons.
[Edit: In the twist where players generally stay, 2025 assistant coaches also stay, to the extent you want them to stay. For other coaches and players not currently on the team/in the 2026 recruiting class, they'll join or transfer in if you can convince them to do so.]
Sept. 5, 2026 – Western Michigan (home) Sept. 12, 2026 – Oklahoma (home) Sept. 19, 2026 – UTEP (home) Indiana (home) Iowa (home) Michigan State (home) Penn State (home) UCLA (home) at Minnesota at Ohio State at Oregon at Rutgers |
Date: December 17th, 2025 11:32 AM Author: hairraiser internet-worthy dysfunction How does your coaching staff work? Can you hire anyone you want to be OC and DC for any amount of money and let them run stuff? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5811333&forum_id=2/#49516475) |
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Date: December 17th, 2025 11:37 AM Author: effete piazza mediation You can hire whoever you want, within the budget the athletic department gives you for assistant coaches and if those coaches accept your offers. That budget will be--at minimum--105% of what it was in 2025.
I'll edit the twist version to say that, along with current players staying, current assistant coaches and staff will stay too, if you want them. |
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Date: December 17th, 2025 11:44 AM Author: hairraiser internet-worthy dysfunction Can I name one of the coordinators the acting head coach and just do nothing? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5811333&forum_id=2/#49516510) |
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Date: December 17th, 2025 11:47 AM Author: effete piazza mediation No. You need to be head coach, do the normal head coach things--overall practice design, in-game decisions (time outs, challenges, going for two).
You can have the OC and DC do the game plans and call the plays. |
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Date: December 17th, 2025 11:33 AM Author: Cocky chrome roommate brutal schedule (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5811333&forum_id=2/#49516482) |
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Date: December 17th, 2025 11:34 AM Author: effete piazza mediation Looking at that schedule: Haha wow holy shit. Even for a real coach that's a murderer's row of contenders.
4 legitimate top 10 teams and national title contenders: Indiana, OSU, Oklahoma, Oregon
2 other teams that will probably be good to very good: Penn State, Iowa
Even a legitimate coach would (and very likely will) struggle with that schedule. |
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Date: December 17th, 2025 11:39 AM Author: seedy abode If Sherron Moore got another year they would have regressed to 6 or 7 wins with that schedule. But if they hire the right head coach they could get 10 wins with the roster they have (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5811333&forum_id=2/#49516493) |
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Date: December 17th, 2025 11:41 AM Author: effete piazza mediation Yeah, aside from having to do it in the midst of a scandal, jettisoning Moore is a net positive for them. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5811333&forum_id=2/#49516499) |
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Date: December 17th, 2025 11:44 AM Author: seedy abode It definitely gets them back to winning sooner (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5811333&forum_id=2/#49516512) |
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Date: December 17th, 2025 11:51 AM Author: effete piazza mediation We'll see if they can actually pull DeBoer from Alabama (which seems far fethced, but maybe they'll do it). That would be a great hire. I'm not convinced their other supposed candidates--Fisch and Dillingham--would be great hires, though either could be, and both are very likely significant upgrades from Moore who should have 8-9 wins a year as their floor. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5811333&forum_id=2/#49516537) |
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Date: December 17th, 2025 12:13 PM Author: seedy abode Fisch is out. Search firm reportedly found a major scandal in his background, which might be fine under normal circumstances but UMich can’t deal with something like that right now. Sounds like Dillingham at this point assuming he’s willing to leave (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5811333&forum_id=2/#49516591) |
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Date: December 17th, 2025 12:27 PM Author: effete piazza mediation Interesting re Fisch. I wonder what it could be that is a "major" scandal that this search firm uncovered but that is not publicly known and was apparently unknown during Washington's search that led to his hiring and from when Fisch was at Michigan himself. Any word on what it was?
I think Michigan is waiting on DeBoer, though he will likely either beat Oklahmoa (so the timing won't work) or he'll lose and still say he's staying at Alabama.
After that, they'll go to Dillingham. I'm very skeptical of him. He had a single good year. |
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Date: December 17th, 2025 11:34 AM Author: Violet charismatic cuckoldry the same number as anyone else as long as i can hire good coordinators and get nil money. michigan has young talent. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5811333&forum_id=2/#49516485) |
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Date: December 17th, 2025 11:43 AM Author: effete piazza mediation Had Moore not been fired, I think Michigan would limp to about 6 or 7 wins with that schedule next year.
If they can bring in a very good head coach--e.g., poach DeBoer from Alabama if Oklahoma beats them this weekend--he can probably make his way to 10 wins there.
How would you do? |
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Date: December 17th, 2025 12:10 PM Author: Violet charismatic cuckoldry moore was actually a good recruiter of players. his offensive coordinator is suspect at best and his d coordinator is ok i guess. it would totally depend on me getting a good o coordinator. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5811333&forum_id=2/#49516585) |
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Date: December 17th, 2025 11:36 AM Author: seedy abode tough schedule but lots of athletic and physical talent on that roster, much of it young (youngest team in the B10 this year and still went 8-1 in conference)
If I have basically the same roster and I’m just doing play calling then I could coach them to 11 wins
But if I’m the one motivating them to practice hard and play hard and physical and through pain and to bleed for me as their head coach then 0-12
A head coach doesn’t need to be a schematic genius (you hire coordinators for that). They mainly need to be a leader of men and someone the team believes in enough to follow them into battle. |
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Date: December 17th, 2025 11:46 AM Author: effete piazza mediation You need to do whatever you can as head coach. You can delegate as much as you reasonably can. So which is it? 0-12 or 11 wins?
Also, 0-12 seems harsh. Even if the head coach just meekly said "Go get 'em, I guess," the team still probably handles teams like Western Michigan and UTEP, if not also Rutgers, UCLA, and MSU, by virtue of being bigger, faster, and more talented. |
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Date: December 17th, 2025 11:37 AM Author: cruel-hearted sooty plaza Probably go O-fer, but I'm definitely going to get fired for abusing my power as I'm banging every coed that willingly gives it up to me. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5811333&forum_id=2/#49516490) |
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Date: December 17th, 2025 11:45 AM Author: hairraiser internet-worthy dysfunction * Unwillingly (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5811333&forum_id=2/#49516514) |
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Date: December 17th, 2025 11:46 AM Author: cruel-hearted sooty plaza This too (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5811333&forum_id=2/#49516523) |
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Date: December 17th, 2025 11:46 AM Author: maniacal pontificating principal's office I wouldn't even try to win games I'd just fuck as many college girls as I could (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5811333&forum_id=2/#49516521) |
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Date: December 17th, 2025 4:57 PM Author: Bearded double fault keepsake machete same but boys (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5811333&forum_id=2/#49517430) |
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Date: December 17th, 2025 12:16 PM Author: crimson embarrassed to the bone deer antler stain Can I bring in my own deal team? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5811333&forum_id=2/#49516598) |
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Date: December 17th, 2025 12:27 PM Author: effete piazza mediation To play or to coach? Yes either way. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5811333&forum_id=2/#49516633) |
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Date: December 17th, 2025 12:31 PM Author: Azure Cruise Ship Amazing how this is the thing XO admits they can’t do, meanwhile with two years of solid training they can hit 20 home runs in the major leagues. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5811333&forum_id=2/#49516646) |
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Date: December 17th, 2025 12:36 PM Author: effete piazza mediation Many of us played a little D1 ball in college. We've never coached football before. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5811333&forum_id=2/#49516657) |
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Date: December 17th, 2025 12:36 PM Author: hairraiser internet-worthy dysfunction (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5811333&forum_id=2/#49516660) |
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Date: December 17th, 2025 12:44 PM Author: Cocky chrome roommate exactly, if i had the time, it wouldn't be hard to turn my D1 body and mind into a pro-level athlete
but i have decades of professional experience under my belt and leading and inspiring a team of 18-22 year old alphas is not my forte |
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Date: December 17th, 2025 1:28 PM Author: Buck-toothed cumskin cr. also, this hypo assumes you need to be an effective, well-rounded coach. most athletic hypos would allow you to focus on one single aspect of a game (e.g., hitting home runs, scoring baskets, etc.). (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5811333&forum_id=2/#49516820) |
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Date: December 17th, 2025 1:26 PM Author: duck-like provocative tank Zero because I would fuck the first thicc white girl who batted her eyes at me and then autistically ignore her and get eXXXposed and fired within the first month (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5811333&forum_id=2/#49516816) |
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Date: December 17th, 2025 1:29 PM Author: Emerald lascivious space Depends on whether I'm permitted to call all plays. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5811333&forum_id=2/#49516826) |
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Date: December 17th, 2025 2:09 PM Author: effete piazza mediation Of course you can. You're the head coach. Are you designing and calling the offense and the defense?
Interesting question: How often do D1 coaches call the offense and the defense? It's gotta be very rare. |
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Date: December 17th, 2025 4:56 PM Author: rebellious arrogant national security agency garrison 12-0 but I would cut Bryce Underwood and get a smart white guy. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5811333&forum_id=2/#49517426) |
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Date: December 17th, 2025 4:58 PM Author: Bearded double fault keepsake machete coaches dont do shit, just recruit. let your o and d and special teams coaches call plays. conditioning coach takes care of stuff. you go fluff players and parents and say inspirational things that chatgpt tells you to (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5811333&forum_id=2/#49517432) |
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Date: December 17th, 2025 8:20 PM Author: effete piazza mediation So how many wins do you get? And why don't all head coaches just do that? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5811333&forum_id=2/#49517956) |
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Date: December 18th, 2025 12:05 AM Author: Bearded double fault keepsake machete like 2-3 (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5811333&forum_id=2/#49518506) |
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Date: December 17th, 2025 4:58 PM Author: Flickering chartreuse hell depressive I hear they're close to announcing Ahmadinejad. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5811333&forum_id=2/#49517436) |
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Date: December 17th, 2025 5:41 PM Author: Fear-inspiring well-lubricated hospital I was looking at 9 or 10 wins until you said I had to “design practice”.
I’m a game day coach, not a practice coach
I’d run the triple option
We’d score a lot on punt return and go for nearly every 4th and under 3, anywhere on the field
Use a lot of full back. Convert a TE if we don’t have a FB
I’d probably have a white squad and a black squad. Good for morale |