Your presence at these parties is vital. Whenever you hear someone say, "I work with those people all week. I'm certainly not going to spend Saturday night with them, too," they are sending a strong message that they're not interested in playing in the upper levels. If you are interested in upward mobility and do not actively participate in social events, you may not be considered a serious player. It's no surprise that we see the serious game players emerge at this stage.

If you carefully watch people operate at this level, you can see how these players establish contacts who will be assets and eliminate those who will not. Conversations in this environment are geared to determine where a person ranks in the league structure. A typical conversation may flow like this:

"I see by your name tag that your name is Bill Johnson. How are you doing? My name is Jim Smith. Who are you with, Bill (organization/company)? What do you do with them (position/function)?"

After he answers Jim's questions, it's Bill's turn to ask the same of Jim. This will definitely be a two-way probing session. Jim continues, "Mike and Mona have a lovely home! Are you neighbors? Do you live around here? Oh. Where do you live?" (He's probing for the level position that deals with housing. In other words, does Bill live in a level three neighborhood, or a level six like the hosts?)

Jim: "Did you see that last game between Louisville and Duke in the NCAA tournament? Wasn't it great? By the way, where did you go to school? Did you do any graduate studies there?" Bill responds, then rephrases the questions and fires them back at Jim.

Jim probes further: "Do you play tennis or golf? At which club? Ah, yes, beautiful facilities. I belong to the Oak Park Country Club myself." Then Jim pauses while Bill asks the same questions about activities and interests.

This exchange leads to other probes, such as the names of associations with which Bill is affiliated, the corporate boards he might sit on, charitable organizations he advises, and, of course, the role Bill fills with each activity. If the conversation turns to the fine arts, questions would be directed toward discovering the other person's knowledge, interest, and involvement in ballet, opera, theatre, museums, and the symphony.

In less than fifteen minutes, both Bill and Jim can part company with a very good understanding of the level in which the other currently participates. An hour into the party, Jim can scan the room, saying to himself, "That guy over there, he's a 5.38 player. That tall woman is a 6.51. The fellow in the corner is a 6.12, and Jerry ... well, Jerry's a 4.37 ... he's in a level below me and can't help me much. But he's a good guy—I might be able to give him some business." (This becomes an act of sponsorship.) For the players who have done this for years, this is not a conscious effort. Most don't even know they are doing it. It has become natural, comfortable, and fun.

We need to keep in mind the fact that business at the upper levels is not a "9 to 5" proposition. Forty-hour work weeks stop with level three play. Upper-level business is frequently subtle, much like the opening conversation at the party. The questions we ask in order to develop our score sheet on other players and to qualify our contacts are also crucial in helping us to identify and broaden our business and social networks. Developing relationships both above and below your current level is important—remember, the game is about people, everything else is detail.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5551262&forum_id=2/en-en/#47815004)

If we go from the bottom up with these four categories we must begin at level two, since participants in level one do not entertain. In level two people meet at relatives' homes for holi- days and for special occasions. In level three, personal friends are included in casual gatherings such as barbecues. Level four is where cocktail parties begin. A party at this level normally includes only friends-seldom are people from the office involved. If someone is invited from work, it is only because that person is a friend. The party will be sporty and informal, with the host often making the hors d'oeuvres and everyone serving themselves at the bar. Normally, very little business is discussed-everyone came to have fun by playing board games, dancing, or joining in a sing-along. In fact, if much business is discussed by any individual at level four parties, they may be excluded from subsequent invitations.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5551262&forum_id=2/en-en/#47815603)

personally, i might riff on it a bit with something like “Bill Johnson, my new acquaintance, I, Jim Smith, am a fellow human who works at XYZ Corp. My role within said organization focuses on business matters,” in order to “break the ice” and form a more intimate, personal connection. but the basic building blocks laid out here are guaranteed home runs by themselves.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5551262&forum_id=2/en-en/#47816753)

"’Do you play tennis or golf? At which club? Ah, yes, beautiful facilities. I belong to the Oak Park Country Club myself.’ Then Jim pauses while Bill asks the same questions about activities and interests.”

this is not extraneous information and it is important these breaks are structured as laid out, meaning the “talking points” given above and in my previous posts should be quoted verbatim as a single, unbroken stream. after all, the author is an expert on communication.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5551262&forum_id=2/en-en/#47817003)

By Harvey J. Coleman · 2010

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5551262&forum_id=2/en-en/#47815547)