Sheila, who hasn’t had kids in 15 years and refers to her “post-menopausal glow” as “nature’s rebirth,” decided she’s entitled to “residual hormonal accommodations.” Her new ritual? Hour-long naps in the lactation room.

Today, she emerged from her fortress with pillow creases on her face and a content sigh. “Best break ever, friend. Legally protected, of course.” Meanwhile, a frantic new mother, cradling a screaming infant, banged on the locked door and asked if we had “any alternative accommodations.”

Went to HR, hoping for support. Tabitha, our HR heavyweight champion, didn’t even blink. “It’s a gray area, Evan. Legally, I can’t intervene unless Sheila brings a full mattress in there.”

Spent the rest of the shift apologizing to the new mom while Sheila snored during her “lactation.” Stocked shelves solo, only pausing to explain to a customer why their expired coupons wouldn’t work on four tubs of ice cream.

Finally clocked out, leaned against the back wall, and whispered, “Yes, friend. This is fine.”

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5630878&forum_id=2:#48314867)