Watching Every Single Val Kilmer Movie in Chronological Order
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Date: April 4th, 2025 9:54 PM Author: talking genital piercing death wish Subject: Top Secret! (1984)
I had never seen this movie before tonight and was shocked how funny it was. Val Kilmer’s first role and he is already fully formed - it is striking how much his face stayed the same throughout his career. He is just a clear movie star and it’s interesting that he started out in comedies. He turned down an ensemble role in The Outsiders to take top billing here.
The best description I’ve ever read of Val Kilmer is that when he makes an acting choice he doesn’t play it straight and he doesn’t do the opposite, like the good ones. He does something perpendicular. And this movie is full of perpendicular choices that make him perfect for the straight man in an absurdist comedy.
Interesting note, the movie clearly codes homosexual as evil.
I rate it 7.5 Icemans.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5705567&forum_id=2:#48816904) |
Date: April 8th, 2025 10:23 PM Author: talking genital piercing death wish Subject: Real Genius (1985)
Whither the zany caper movie? I have to say there was something so comforting in watching that TriStar Pegasus enter the frame. They just don’t do wacky like they did in the mid-80s.
I also had never seen this movie (maybe once some Saturday on tv as a matinee) and really enjoyed it. It’s got a great cast totally committed to the preposterous premise.
Val Kilmer is again completely developed, fully inhabiting the total weirdness of his character, even as he has to find an emotional connection with a high school super genius. Every line and his physicality is delivered in such an unusual and surprising way. This is a fantastic way to kill an afternoon.
7.0 Icemans
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5705567&forum_id=2:#48829523) |
Date: April 10th, 2025 6:33 AM Author: talking genital piercing death wish Subject: Top Gun (1986)
It’s impossible for a red-bloodied American man not to get chills when the Bruckheimer/Simpson card comes up and the planes start taxiing around the carrier deck.
This is only Val Kilmer’s third film, but it’s the third time he’s cast as the Uber Male (bizarrely, his third time showing off his physical dexterity with his fingers).
Every scene is iconic and it sets the standard for the modern action movie, while featuring surprisingly little action. The flight scenes became the greatest recruiting tool in the history of the Pentagon and is still the reason they happily loan military equipment to almost any production.
As a kid the death of Goose was the second most affecting film death (behind Apollo Creed) and I can’t hear Good Balls of Fire without picturing a widowed Meg Ryan and Goose’s baby.
As explained by Quentin Tarantino, the film is a meditation on a young man deciding between heterosexuality and homosexuality and against Val Kilmer the ladies don’t stand a chance.
Val Kilmer’s performance is a smoldering, sweat-slicked fever dream of homoerotic tension. He struts onto the screen with a chiseled jawline and a cocksure swagger that practically drips with unspoken desire, turning every cockpit into a crucible of barely restrained lust. His icy blonde locks and piercing stares lock onto Maverick like a heat-seeking missile, each confrontation crackling with a subtext so thick you could cut it with a flight stick. The volleyball scene is a glistening, sun-drenched ballet of flexing biceps and taut torsos, where Kilmer’s smirking confidence and cool detachment feel like a teasing invitation, daring Maverick to close the distance. Their rivalry is less a clash of egos and more a dance of pent-up yearning.
Even Kelly Gillis’ trans man performance can’t sway Maverick away from the gay way.
“I want some butts!”
10 Icemans
https://youtu.be/ZF1LXL6OOsM?si=WLXTqc6Q7LzoC_mi
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5705567&forum_id=2:#48833905) |
Date: April 10th, 2025 9:04 AM Author: exciting chestnut milk international law enforcement agency
1800000 thread idea and tyfys creating old school xo threads that arent about politics
can you pls post the films in chrono order? Id like to see the list and just run my eyes over his gorgeous filmography
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5705567&forum_id=2:#48834069) |
Date: April 12th, 2025 5:07 PM Author: talking genital piercing death wish Subject: Willow (1988)
I hadn’t seen this movie since I was a kid, when it wasn’t one of my favorites compared to Never Ending Story.
As an adult, I understand why. The plot is very basic shit, with dumb mythical creatures (the Brownies?). The humans aren’t even humans, they’re daikini. I did not enjoy having to spend so much time thinking about Warwick Davis’ monster hands. Also ridiculous that they’re forced to give a baby so much screen time - the movie would be much better if Elora was a tween.
But Val Kilmer delivers. It’s a complete 180 from his role as iceman, playing villainous, goofy, and heroic, often within moments of each other. He handles it as well as he can and is totally committed to the bit. It’s the George Lucas story/script that is mostly retarded.
I rate it 3 Icemans.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5705567&forum_id=2:#48840958) |
Date: April 13th, 2025 11:15 AM Author: talking genital piercing death wish Subject: Kill Me Again (1989)
Taut, private eye crime caper with lots of noir, but set in sunny Nevada. Kilmer plays a not so bright lovelorn dick in debt to the mob. He isopposite his real life wife who he met on the set of Willow, a homicidal two faced bitch that he can’t help but fall in love with. It’s interesting that in her role in Willow she was beating him up and here is doing the same thing. It’s a pretty straight role, but Kilmer makes it interesting playing Jack Andrew’s as mourning sad sack who is kind of a dummy.
Movie is a crisp 90 minutes that ends with a quintuple cross as the mob, cops, and others try to find Jack and some stolen mob money.
Michael Madsen as the bad news boyfriend is an unexpected surprise. Tarantino basically cast him to play the same role in Reservoir Dogs. Available free on Amazon Prime. This is a strong recommend if you’re looking for something to watch and want an old school potboiler.
7 Icemans
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5705567&forum_id=2:#48842607) |
Date: April 13th, 2025 5:09 PM Author: talking genital piercing death wish Subject: The Doors (1991)
When I think of Val Kilmer I think of The Doors. When I think of Jim Morrison, I think of Val Kilmer in The Doors. Easily Kilmer’s second most iconic role, and the first one where he went full method. I read recently that when he went to audition he showed up shirtless and sexually assaulted a woman, which the studio paid out when it cast him.
I owned a VHS copy of this in middle school and would easily jerk off twice every time I watched, especially the black magic sex scene. This is also one of my favorite Oliver Stone movies. If you haven’t seen it, you must.
10 Icemans
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5705567&forum_id=2:#48843206) |
Date: April 13th, 2025 7:53 PM Author: talking genital piercing death wish Subject: Thunderheart (1992)
It was seeing people talk about this movie in some of the Kilmer retrospectives that caused me to start this thread. I very vaguely remember seeing this as a kid on tv some Sunday afternoon.
Kilmer, who is part Indian IRL, plays a part Indian FBI agent sent to Badlands South Dakota to investigate some recent murders set against internal political violence based on the real life American Indian Movement. It’s a solid, well made movie and Kilmer’s extremely in control playing a hothead who hates his family past.
If you like Wind River, you will like this movie because they’re extremely similar. It’s actually kind of surprising how woke (in the sense of awareness) this movie is for 1992, but I think that’s because the AIM and FBI fight was very public and well known at the time. Good watch, free on Prime.
I rate it 8 Icemans.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5705567&forum_id=2:#48843663) |
Date: April 13th, 2025 10:15 PM Author: talking genital piercing death wish Subject: Tombstone (1993)
Not a very good movie overall. Structurally it doesn’t make any sense and Wyatt Earp ends up looking like a psychopath. It’s very bizarre around 90 minutes when it just switches to mass slaughter. And Wyatt didn’t really seem to have a plan for making money in Tombstone.
But it is packed with great actors, including especially Powers Boothe and Val Kilmer. Kilmer’s Doc Holliday is considered the most iconic and he steals the scene every time he is on screen. Hopefully you’ve already seen this one and can just watch some clips of Kilmer online.
I rate it 7 Icemens and 10 Huckleberrys.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5705567&forum_id=2:#48844018) |
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Date: April 21st, 2025 9:41 AM
Author: ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
mediocre to poor as a western. Kilmer's performance rises above the dreck.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5705567&forum_id=2:#48866409) |
Date: April 13th, 2025 10:22 PM Author: talking genital piercing death wish Subject: True Romance (1993)
I’m not going to rewatch this one since I’ve seen it 30 times and it’s only a cameo. You can see the total commitment to being a figment of someone’s imagination yourself at the link. If you’ve never seen True Romance you are missing out on the greatest use of the word eggplant of all time.
https://youtu.be/Kk9A6E1EXjI?si=Ii9fHCEE0flsNd2h
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5705567&forum_id=2:#48844032) |
Date: April 15th, 2025 6:47 AM Author: talking genital piercing death wish Subject: Batman Forever (1995)
It’s weird watching capeshit from a time period where capeshit wasn’t the most important product made in Hollywood. They would just let a big time director do anything he wanted, with no respect for the source material. It’s like Joel Schumacher spent the entire time on set yelling “Campier! More camp!” until even Jim Carrey was like, “this is a little over the top.” It’s also really hard to appreciate an Adam West-y Batman when we know that the Nolan-verse exists.
Kilmer is just not a good Batman. And he gives line readings here that would embarrass a high school drama teacher. He plays Wayne as very stern but then is forced by the script to be silly.
Despite all its flaws, this version of Batman is still somewhat enjoyable, mainly because Tommy Lee Jones and Jim Carrey are having the time of their life playing baddies. When this came out Jim Carrey was arguably the biggest movie star in the world, having just released Ace Venture, The Mask, and Dumb and Dumber. And TLJ turns it up to 11. The best scene in the movie is Riddler meeting Two Face for the first time.
I rate it 4 Icemans
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5705567&forum_id=2:#48848527)
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Date: April 17th, 2025 6:42 AM Author: Pierbattista Pizzaballa Subject: Heat (1995)
Fucking A this movie is next level.
I hadn’t actually sat down and watched this thing in one sitting in at least 15 years, and it was the most enjoyable movie watching experience I’ve had in long time, including watching all of the movies on this list.
It is smart, thrilling, creates an entire universe of L.A., beautiful to look at (inspired by L.A. noir: https://images.app.goo.gl/FNiEWtJpbMSTzMvo8 ), stocked to the gills with great actors and feels too short at just under three hours. It is also the source of our greatest Spaceporn meme (pls someone link).
It’s Michael Mann’s masterpiece (Heat 2 is apparently in production). Al Pacino is insanely over the top, but actually in control. Sizemore is electric. Natalie Portman leaves an impression with just one scene. Ashley Judd with just a few, like they forgot she was in the movie. De Niro is playing a character unlike all his others. It has two subplots that could be their own movies (serial killing Waingro, who nearly steals a lot of his scenes, and the plot to sell the financier back his own bonds). And of course there is the diner scene with Pacino and De Niro at their peak, before they became caricatures. I always forget that that scene starts with a completely gratuitous but gorgeous helicopter chase.
Then the robbery centerpiece is so well done it has never been bested - iconic shot after iconic shot all the while raising the stakes higher and higher. It’s been ripped off so many times but even when ripped off well, like in Den of Thieves, it’s not even close. Even Christopher Nolan used its style to open The Dark Knight. Mann manages to get all the characters invested into the robbery and subsequent chase to flee.
And Kilmer. Maybe this is his third most iconic role, just from the shot where he flips the loot and starts firing in downtown L.A. He is electric. His devotion to his family coupled with his gambling problem, contrasted with his ice-cold approach to the work. Supposedly the new sequel will be about his son Dominick all grown up. That’s how good Kilmer is - he created the spinoff.
After watching this and getting to reread old essays about how great this movie is, it is obvious this one of the three greatest heist movies of all time, yet somehow still incredibly underrated.
10 of 10 Icemans
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5705567&forum_id=2:#48856213) |
Date: April 18th, 2025 4:22 PM Author: Pierbattista Pizzaballa Subject: The Island of Dr. Moreau (1996)
Back in 1996 I used to see literally every single movie that came out in the megaplex I could walk to near my house. But the buzz around this movie was so bad I skipped it and never even bothered to watch it - until now. And . . . I kind of sort of liked it?
My expectations were so low that I was able to accept it for what it was: a cheesy B-movie made with a big budget and top acting talent. Marlon Brando is terrible (his daughter killed self during filming), but Kilmer is shockingly dialed in for his performance as a disaffected brain surgeon devolving into madness. He has a great arc in this film and his last line and death scene are great. It also features a young David Thewlis and Ron Perlman as the leader of the mutants.
If you accept it for what it is rather than its reputation, it’s not a bad watch if you have 98 minutes to spare. Also, prime Fairuza Balk as a cat mutant.
Apparently Val gave Brando a run for his money in terms of being difficult to work with and this movie really marked the beginning of the end of Kilmer’s major star period in Hollywood.
Five Icemans
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5705567&forum_id=2:#48861122) |
Date: April 18th, 2025 8:06 PM Author: Pierbattista Pizzaballa Subject: Ghost and the Darkness (1996)
Val Kilmer got nominated for a Razzie for both The Island of Dr. Moreau and this movie, but he didn’t deserve either nomination. He plays both roles all out, it’s just the movies that aren’t great. It’s Michael Douglas’ preposterous performance as an American hunter (completely invented character), that is over the top and detracts from the movie. Kilmer plays everything in this movie like he’s holding back, thinking and meticulous, like the engineer he is playing. When he goes a little crazy at the end it’s totally earned. I think people were just piling on because of the reputation he was earning as an over serious difficult actor.
The second act of the movie is kind of a mess and is little boring as the pair hunt the lions. Maybe it’s because I am a middle aged man into history, but I wanted more about building the railroad and colonialism. There is not much going on in the subtext of the movie - it’s just pure man v. nature. The special effects are pretty bad, even by 1996 standards, but the film did win an Oscar for sound editing.
I saw Ghost and The Darkness when it came out and mostly forgot about it and after watching it again, I will probably forget about it very soon.
4 Icemans
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5705567&forum_id=2:#48861608)
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Date: April 18th, 2025 10:15 PM Author: Pierbattista Pizzaballa Subject: The Saint (1997)
And so ends the Val Kilmer Hollywood leading man era. This movie was dogshit. Any fond memories you have of this movie (which I did) are because you watched it when you were 13. For comparison’s sake Goldeneye and Mission: Impossible had both already come out, so this could have been a decent movie.
But the gimmick with the costumes and the accents and the dumb saints names makes it look ridiculous. He puts on four hours of makeup in two minutes several times . Literally nothing happens that makes sense. An apartment building has a common shared space for hiding from the stassi. At one point they get lost in the sewers and some rando revolutionary art thieves guide them to the embassy. Cold fusion is invented in an hour - in her head! Elizabeth Shue was one of the biggest force memes of all time and her character is crazy.
Just complete horseshit of a movie. Kilmer seems like he was having fun though and did put a lot of work into all the accents. Bitchin’ 1990s sound track.
2 Icemens (artificially inflated because I know there is some real trash coming up in the 2000s)
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5705567&forum_id=2:#48861888) |
Date: April 19th, 2025 3:27 PM Author: Pierbattista Pizzaballa Subject: At First Sight (1999)
Ugh, so glad Matthew McConnaghey came along and saved Val from having to do all these romcoms. This movie is two hours and fifteen minutes and is about a woman meeting the perfect guy, except he’s blind, so of course she tries to change him. “I thought you’d be excited. What’s the problem?” she asks.
Val goes full bore, though, as a blind masseuse. He is very believable as a blind man. So far the only movie where he kind of half assed it was Batman Forever. The movie kind of gets good in the final act when his blindness goes Flower for Algernon, but it is painful getting there.
It’s a tedious Lifetime level romcom with bad dialogue that isn’t worth watching - but Kilmer is impressive in it. I checked how much time was left at least a dozen times. One hilarious scene was Nathan Lane taking him to a strip club to do a seeing therapy session. Bizarre Oliver Sacks cameo.
Three Icemen
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5705567&forum_id=2:#48863115) |
Date: April 20th, 2025 8:04 AM Author: Pierbattista Pizzaballa Subject: Joe the King (1999)
This was a surprising gem of a movie I had never seen before. Unexpectedly dark, Kilmer plays an alcoholic janitor (it’s a period piece, obviously) whose shiftlessness is leading his son to a life of crime. It also features John Leguiziamo and Ethan Hawke. It was nice to have an artsy bright spot to close out the 1990s for Kilmer.
It’s a tough watch in places if you know anything about how alcoholism destroys families and how Joe is almost certainly doomed. Kilmer’s best scene is at the end as he previews his son’s possible paths forward. Kilmer was recently divorced when he made this and he’s drawing from some dark places.
Would recommend, available for rent.
6.5 Icemans
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5705567&forum_id=2:#48864129) |
Date: April 21st, 2025 9:14 AM Author: Pierbattista Pizzaballa Subject: Pollock (2000)
Jackson Pollock was an alcoholic asshole who painted. Then he got famous and remained an alcoholic asshole. He caused a lot of pain to the people around him. Then he died.
Val Kilmer is in this movie for like 15 seconds. He was great. I enjoyed this movie, but very much not an important part of the Val Kilmer oeuvre.
Five Icemans
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5705567&forum_id=2:#48866332) |
Date: April 22nd, 2025 10:48 PM Author: Pierbattista Pizzaballa Subject: Red Planet (2000)
This is another one where Pitch Black had just come out and was an amazing stranded on a planet movie, while the Val Kilmer version is just very very bad. I wasn’t sure I was going to be able to finish this, but the second and third acts get in the so-bad-its-good territory. Like, why did you send a military robot on a science mission for no reason? Every problem is solved with something absurd and none of the characters bear any resemblance to real people.
Val Kilmer plays a “space janitor” and plays him basically as a spiritual stoner. He is kind of phoning it in here but I enjoyed it.
Apparently Kilmer and Sizemore hated each other on set and Kilmer did all sorts of dickish things to him, so a producer made Sizemore just promise not to punch him in the face. He did end up punching him and throwing a weight at him after Kilmer belittled him. They’re supposed to play buddies but they ended up hating each other so much they had to use body doubles for all the scenes where they’re talking directly to each other. Absolutely hilarious old Hollywood shit.
I’m barely 1/3 into this Kilmer project and it’s starting to get expensive having to rent these, since no one in their right mind would want to watch this and therefore no one is licensing it for streaming. But the second and third acts were watchable.
4 Icemans
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5705567&forum_id=2:#48872665) |
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