"Billy Bob and Tammy Sue were nice enough to let me try their heroin, and I'm incredibly impressed by the innovation, passion, and sheer determination they have. Can I get a tourniquet?" Zuckerberg said while sitting in a pile of garbage near a filthy trailer in Stubville, West Virginia.

As a baby cried and nearby dogs barked, the social media magnate tried a variety of drugs, including methamphetamine, LSD, and ecstasy.

"I'm really inspired by the example these hardworking people set when they roll out of bed at noon and immediately stick a syringe in their arms," he said. "They are the heart and soul of America, and I can't wait to work with them as we develop additional technology to further undermine their very existence," he added.

White trash residents were less than impressed, however, and declined to say whether they would support Zuckerberg's expected candidacy.

"He's pretty skinny and talks kind of funny," said Wanda Jenkins, a local hair salon owner. "And ain't he some kind of Jew?" she added.

http://yahoonews.com/rural-poor-take-first-look-at-candidate-zuckerberg-5447523864-htm

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3673200&forum_id=2:#33761757)

this part was dumb and took this poast from 180 down to 165

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3673200&forum_id=2:#33761999)