Date: September 27th, 2026 6:39 AM Author: Bronze Principal's Office
A ruinously expensive Bumble 5.5 for a decade or so before she takes half your remaining stuff. Maybe if you're lucky you get some kids out of the deal and the loop repeats a few extra cycles.
Retirement at 70 to The Villiages where you succumb to heatstroke during an August power outage. Your last conscious thought as you slip into the void is, "Finally..."