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It ain't every day a ritzy blonde walks through my door...

"You're in real trouble," I said, curtly. She l...
heady maniacal box office
  06/09/09
180
Vigorous salmon point
  08/18/09
...
heady maniacal box office
  06/09/09
...
ruddy cracking den
  06/09/09
...
offensive cordovan factory reset button hospital
  06/09/09
encore encore
offensive cordovan factory reset button hospital
  06/09/09
If you've never been to The Golden Marmoset, I can't say I r...
heady maniacal box office
  06/09/09
...
offensive cordovan factory reset button hospital
  06/09/09
I don't like this part as much
Vigorous salmon point
  08/18/09
EXCELLENT
Flickering voyeur step-uncle's house
  06/09/09
...
offensive cordovan factory reset button hospital
  06/09/09
in the backroom amidst the fog of talcum was when i first he...
ruddy cracking den
  06/09/09
this is pretty fucking good
offensive cordovan factory reset button hospital
  06/09/09
Yeah, I've poured drinks at the Golden Marmoset for 15 years...
offensive cordovan factory reset button hospital
  06/09/09
i need a stiff one, pal
ruddy cracking den
  06/09/09
i poured her usual, a double shot of rye. she took one swig,...
offensive cordovan factory reset button hospital
  06/10/09
where's js. did we ruin his shit accidentally?
offensive cordovan factory reset button hospital
  06/10/09
...
Gay Exhilarant Coldplay Fan Site
  08/18/09
...
Ocher soul-stirring shrine
  08/18/09
...
Overrated boistinker
  09/21/09
180
Gay Exhilarant Coldplay Fan Site
  09/21/09
we have a pretty good tradition of xoxo pulp fiction
Overrated boistinker
  09/21/09
...
ruddy cracking den
  02/22/10
solid effort all around. mad props to the legends itt and my...
Mind-boggling turquoise queen of the night
  03/04/11


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Reply Favorite

Date: June 9th, 2009 12:17 AM
Author: heady maniacal box office

"You're in real trouble," I said, curtly.

She looked startled, then she nodded, once. "How did you know?" she said in a quavering voice. Her hands were shaking like a sapling in a cyclone.

"Easy there," I said, guiding her to a chair, "in my line of work, you can just tell. Why don't you explain yourself, miss…?"

"Twist," she said, "Honey P. Twist."

I fixed Miss Twist a Gimlet to steady her nerves as she told me her story. Seems her fiancé, S. T. Heposter, was in deep with a couple of Polack toughs, and the only way to get them off his back was to hock a piece of jewelry – the little lady’s engagement ring, worth a cool thirty-five grand. Only trouble was she’d misplaced the thing while dancing at The Golden Marmoset. She needed me to track it down pronto, before this Heposter fellow figured out it was missing or the Polacks started getting irate.

"No problem," I said. I knew the place well. Of course, if I’d known the places this case would take me, I’d have been a little less nonchalant…

"Oh, Christoph, thank you, thank you," she said. "I can call you Christoph, can’t I?"

I gave her a cool smile. "Mr. Jewdood will do for now."



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1014541&forum_id=2#11948944)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 18th, 2009 3:49 PM
Author: Vigorous salmon point

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1014541&forum_id=2#12532736)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 9th, 2009 12:25 AM
Author: heady maniacal box office



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1014541&forum_id=2#11949044)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 9th, 2009 12:26 AM
Author: ruddy cracking den



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1014541&forum_id=2#11949052)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 9th, 2009 12:28 AM
Author: offensive cordovan factory reset button hospital



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1014541&forum_id=2#11949071)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 9th, 2009 12:29 AM
Author: offensive cordovan factory reset button hospital

encore encore

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1014541&forum_id=2#11949082)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 9th, 2009 12:46 AM
Author: heady maniacal box office

If you've never been to The Golden Marmoset, I can't say I recommend it. The place is just about the lowest, dingiest gentleman's club I've ever set foot in. But hell, it's got cheap booze and cheaper girls, so I've spent more time there than I care to admit.

I walked past the stage, throwing a wink at a bored-looking oriental gal, and into the back office. "Dean," I said, as I entered the room, "need to ask you about one of your girls..." my voice trailed off. Dean Bitterman was slumped over his desk with a knife in his back. His head was resting on his desk, I noticed, balanced on the very tip of his ratlike nose.

I took a quick look around the office, but nothing seemed out of place. As I turned to go, I noticed a scrap of paper in Bitterman's hand, which I gently tugged free. In a shaky hand, he'd written "Order of Charontes." I didn't know what the hell that meant, but I owed it to Dean B, with whom I'd shared many a rusty nail, to figure it out - and unless I missed my guess, the bastards who'd killed my pal probably had Honey's ring, as well.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1014541&forum_id=2#11949273)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 9th, 2009 1:11 AM
Author: offensive cordovan factory reset button hospital



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1014541&forum_id=2#11949589)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 18th, 2009 3:49 PM
Author: Vigorous salmon point

I don't like this part as much

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1014541&forum_id=2#12532734)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 9th, 2009 1:12 AM
Author: Flickering voyeur step-uncle's house

EXCELLENT

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1014541&forum_id=2#11949594)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 9th, 2009 1:13 AM
Author: offensive cordovan factory reset button hospital



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1014541&forum_id=2#11949616)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 9th, 2009 1:22 AM
Author: ruddy cracking den

in the backroom amidst the fog of talcum was when i first heard Vollinger's name, and at first it sounded like a mating call in the sweet red mouth of Kitty Leone - that was her dancing name, and only a couple of us girls knew her real last name was Adchick, which had to be some kind of german. the Kitty was hers from birth, though. i'd shown her the white line on my ring finger where two and a half carats of VVS had once winked at all the patrons; no, i never took it off, and Kitty must have known that better than anyone because - but i didn't know this then - she was the one who'd taken it off for me.

so i tracked down this Vollinger. i found him in what the little colored boys who flicked me a Herald each morning used to call the "two-fist district," and when that big sasquatch of a private dick rose up on his size thirteens i wondered just what Frau Adchick had nudged me into. i'd come into his office shaken, on the rocks, and i ended up leaving with a twist . . .

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1014541&forum_id=2#11949699)



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Date: June 9th, 2009 1:31 AM
Author: offensive cordovan factory reset button hospital

this is pretty fucking good

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1014541&forum_id=2#11949755)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 9th, 2009 2:44 AM
Author: offensive cordovan factory reset button hospital

Yeah, I've poured drinks at the Golden Marmoset for 15 years, but I've never considered myself a bartender. See, we serve bathtub gin with fumes that'll K.O. a wharf rat and whiskey sours that make your lips pucker tighter than Fish's asshole at his alimony hearing. What I mean is, with our kinda bill of fare, I ain't tending the bar, I'm just there to put out liquor fires. As for the fellas who swing through our doors flush and two hours later stagger out $200 in the red with nothing but blue balls to show for it, you can't rightly call them drunks or saps or gambling fools, either -- no, they're victims of possession.

Possession by our star attraction, a dancer called Honey P. Twist. Sugar-sweet at first, and then she's poison -- that's the twist. Remember her first husband, Herr Hundertfierundsiebzig, the financier? He had a bavarian chocolate cake at the wedding, a honeymoon of eiswein and souffle, and then -- imagine his surprise -- a dose of potassium chloride in his black forest pudding. Accidents will happen, though the cops never puzzled out how that one did. Her second husband was the undertaker for her first husband. He died of a tawny port.

The other night, closing time, Dean Bitterman was telling me it looked like our girl might've found a Mr. Honey the Third. Not just another chump who'd blow $50 on two songs and an increased risk of stroke. Someone with real money and a diamond ring to win our Honey. Dean B said he had a plan. He'd tell Honey he had proof that she'd killed husbands uno and dos and a threat that he'd go to the cops unless she gave him a cut of her winnings from her next trot down the aisle. Dean asked if I wanted to help.

Did I want to help? Nah. Sounded dangerous -- and that's if Dean was right about the whole mess. So I declined. Like the man says, I only work here. I'm just the guy serving your drinks.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1014541&forum_id=2#11949979)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 9th, 2009 10:43 PM
Author: ruddy cracking den

i need a stiff one, pal

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1014541&forum_id=2#11956108)



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Date: June 10th, 2009 12:16 AM
Author: offensive cordovan factory reset button hospital

i poured her usual, a double shot of rye. she took one swig, winked her purple painted eye at me, then gulped down the rest. honey never gave me any trouble. i was never husband material.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1014541&forum_id=2#11957191)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2009 12:21 AM
Author: offensive cordovan factory reset button hospital

where's js. did we ruin his shit accidentally?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1014541&forum_id=2#11957250)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 18th, 2009 3:30 PM
Author: Gay Exhilarant Coldplay Fan Site



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1014541&forum_id=2#12532592)



Reply Favorite

Date: August 18th, 2009 3:35 PM
Author: Ocher soul-stirring shrine



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1014541&forum_id=2#12532627)



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Date: September 21st, 2009 10:48 PM
Author: Overrated boistinker



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1014541&forum_id=2#12803511)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 21st, 2009 10:50 PM
Author: Gay Exhilarant Coldplay Fan Site

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1014541&forum_id=2#12803527)



Reply Favorite

Date: September 21st, 2009 10:51 PM
Author: Overrated boistinker

we have a pretty good tradition of xoxo pulp fiction

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1014541&forum_id=2#12803544)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 22nd, 2010 8:55 PM
Author: ruddy cracking den



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1014541&forum_id=2#14204934)



Reply Favorite

Date: March 4th, 2011 7:31 PM
Author: Mind-boggling turquoise queen of the night

solid effort all around. mad props to the legends itt and my pumo brother who kicked it off...

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1014541&forum_id=2#17431969)