We did not - I attempted to stock pick and do my own thing with some bonds. This last time I asked him, a professional investor at a long-only fund for the last 40 years, to advise me on portfolio construction. Here is his e-mail response, not flame, completely unedited.

Subject: Re: Seeking Your Expert Advice Once Again

Dear Tim,

Ah, it’s that time again when you crawl back into my inbox, tail between your legs, seeking the pearls of wisdom you’ve so famously ignored in the past. How utterly predictable. But, let’s indulge this latest whim of yours to actually “take heed,” shall we? It’s quite the novel development coming from someone who’s managed to fumble not one, not two, but four opportunities to secure a comfortable future for those adorable kids you somehow helped conceive.

Firstly, let’s address this cute little narrative where you’ve played the rogue investor, dabbling in stocks and bonds like a toddler splashing in a puddle, completely oblivious to the storm overhead. It’s quaint, really. But after watching you squander the nest eggs I generously bestowed upon your offspring, it’s clear you need more than advice—you need a rescue.

Now, onto the meat of the matter, or in your case, the tofu of the matter, since we must keep things digestible for your amateur palate:

Stable Large Cap Stocks: I’ve suggested companies like Johnson & Johnson and Procter & Gamble before. Remember them? Big, boring, and stable—everything you’re not, yet everything you should aspire your investments to be. But alas, subtlety isn’t your forte, is it?

Financial Sector Stocks: I know, I know, it’s hard for a lawyer to appreciate the art of real earnings, but firms like JPMorgan Chase have been paying dividends longer than you’ve been playing ‘lawyer’. They’re a cornerstone of any grown-up’s portfolio. Perhaps it’s time to graduate from the kiddie pool?

Energy Sector Stocks: We’ve been over this—ExxonMobil. Yes, they deal in oil, not ideals; profit, not promises. They generate the kind of returns that could have kept your little experiments funded without dipping into the kids’ college funds.

Technology and Consumer Goods: For someone who loves gadgets and shopping as much as you do, you’d think investing in IBM or Walmart would be instinctive.

Geographical Diversification: We’ve covered this before. The world is bigger than your backyard BBQs. Companies like Unilever operate worldwide and might just teach you something about global exposure—something I’ve desperately hoped you’d gain in more ways than one.

And finally, because I can’t help but care (a tragic flaw of mine), let’s revisit the idea of a Dividend Reinvestment Plan. Remember? The thing you ignored four times? It’s called compounding, Tim. It’s what smart people do to ensure they don’t have to write embarrassing emails to their in-laws asking for help.

While I have no doubt you’ll find a way to muddle through this advice with the grace of a bull in a china shop, I remain, as always, the beacon of hope for our family’s financial literacy. Do try to keep up this time, won’t you?

With all the affection I can muster,

NB

Here is how I would invest it:

Healthcare (20%): $20,000

Johnson & Johnson

Pfizer

Consumer Goods and Retail (20%): $20,000

Procter & Gamble

Walmart

Financials (20%): $20,000

JPMorgan Chase

Energy (20%): $20,000

ExxonMobil

Technology (10%) and International Exposure (10%): $20,000

IBM (Tech)

Unilever (International)

Annual dividend yield is approximately 3.28%

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5524785&forum_id=2#47632710)

He sounds like a huge faggot, and you seem like a complete moron.

IMO you both deserve each other, also 173 flame (ty).

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5524785&forum_id=2#47632715)

what happened to the stocks and bonds you bought

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5524785&forum_id=2#47632725)

Date: May 3rd, 2024 5:40 PM

Author: Tim Dillon

This guy hates me, wanted better for his niece (he's gay, no partner, childless) than marrying a lawyer, but loves our kids - he's given us $100k when each of our children were born (we have 4) and advised us to simply buy index funds.

We did not - I attempted to stock pick and do my own thing with some bonds. This last time I asked him, a professional investor at a long-only fund for the last 40 years, to advise me on portfolio construction. Here is his e-mail response, not flame, completely unedited.

Subject: Re: Seeking Your Expert Advice Once Again

Dear Tim,

Ah, it’s that time again when you crawl back into my inbox, tail between your legs, seeking the pearls of wisdom you’ve so famously ignored in the past. How utterly predictable. But, let’s indulge this latest whim of yours to actually “take heed,” shall we? It’s quite the novel development coming from someone who’s managed to fumble not one, not two, but four opportunities to secure a comfortable future for those adorable kids you somehow helped conceive.

Firstly, let’s address this cute little narrative where you’ve played the rogue investor, dabbling in stocks and bonds like a toddler splashing in a puddle, completely oblivious to the storm overhead. It’s quaint, really. But after watching you squander the nest eggs I generously bestowed upon your offspring, it’s clear you need more than advice—you need a rescue.

Now, onto the meat of the matter, or in your case, the tofu of the matter, since we must keep things digestible for your amateur palate:

Stable Large Cap Stocks: I’ve suggested companies like Johnson & Johnson and Procter & Gamble before. Remember them? Big, boring, and stable—everything you’re not, yet everything you should aspire your investments to be. But alas, subtlety isn’t your forte, is it?

Financial Sector Stocks: I know, I know, it’s hard for a lawyer to appreciate the art of real earnings, but firms like JPMorgan Chase have been paying dividends longer than you’ve been playing ‘lawyer’. They’re a cornerstone of any grown-up’s portfolio. Perhaps it’s time to graduate from the kiddie pool?

Energy Sector Stocks: We’ve been over this—ExxonMobil. Yes, they deal in oil, not ideals; profit, not promises. They generate the kind of returns that could have kept your little experiments funded without dipping into the kids’ college funds.

Technology and Consumer Goods: For someone who loves gadgets and shopping as much as you do, you’d think investing in IBM or Walmart would be instinctive.

Geographical Diversification: We’ve covered this before. The world is bigger than your backyard BBQs. Companies like Unilever operate worldwide and might just teach you something about global exposure—something I’ve desperately hoped you’d gain in more ways than one.

And finally, because I can’t help but care (a tragic flaw of mine), let’s revisit the idea of a Dividend Reinvestment Plan. Remember? The thing you ignored four times? It’s called compounding, Tim. It’s what smart people do to ensure they don’t have to write embarrassing emails to their in-laws asking for help.

While I have no doubt you’ll find a way to muddle through this advice with the grace of a bull in a china shop, I remain, as always, the beacon of hope for our family’s financial literacy. Do try to keep up this time, won’t you?

With all the affection I can muster,

NB

Here is how I would invest it:

Healthcare (20%): $20,000

Johnson & Johnson

Pfizer

Consumer Goods and Retail (20%): $20,000

Procter & Gamble

Walmart

Financials (20%): $20,000

JPMorgan Chase

Energy (20%): $20,000

ExxonMobil

Technology (10%) and International Exposure (10%): $20,000

IBM (Tech)

Unilever (International)

Annual dividend yield is approximately 3.28%

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5524785&forum_id=2#47632710)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5524785&forum_id=2#47632726)

“Asked wife's wealthy uncle advice on how to invest $100k he gay”

And got really confused until my eyes picked up the second line…

(I’m also gay)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5524785&forum_id=2#47632762)