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Simplest explanation for Shroud of Turin (occam's razor): Jesus emitted sunrays

When He was reborn, photons (most likely approximating sunli...
excitant pontificating deer antler place of business
  08/23/24
I mean, maybe the whole time he was saying "I am the su...
Alcoholic Beady-eyed Candlestick Maker Codepig
  11/11/24
...
Magical Cream Ape
  11/11/24
couldn't jesus also have just been very sweaty?
crimson concupiscible macaca lodge
  08/23/24
Any liquid that got absorbed by the fibers would wick out in...
excitant pontificating deer antler place of business
  08/23/24
IMO the people looking into the shroud of Turin or the pyram...
canary degenerate
  08/23/24
I came up with a homebrew solution too. However, it would ne...
excitant pontificating deer antler place of business
  08/23/24
Going to have to disagree with you here boss. It is complete...
Ivory garrison
  11/11/24
BTW I was just flaming here to cause a scuffle and actually ...
Ivory garrison
  11/11/24
The earliest the crusaders would have gotten there a thousan...
excitant pontificating deer antler place of business
  11/11/24
Jesus loves you and is the son of God.
Pink Double Fault Heaven
  08/23/24
great (and correct) use of deific capitalization itt
red sinister sneaky criminal
  08/27/24
...
harsh stock car
  08/27/24
...
canary degenerate
  08/27/24
jesus wants me for a sunbeam
Bipolar comical school
  11/11/24
if this is the real image of Jesus, that makes Trump the rea...
iridescent razzmatazz field
  11/11/24
Blood stains across the head and wrists and slashes to the b...
Seedy chest-beating pit
  11/11/24
...
https://imgur.com/a/o2g8xYK
  11/22/25


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Date: August 23rd, 2024 5:49 PM
Author: excitant pontificating deer antler place of business

When He was reborn, photons (most likely approximating sunlight) shot out of His body and left this kind of burn-mark in His image in the cloth.

Every other explanation requires all sorts of logical contortions and baseless assumptions. The above listed explanation only requires you to believe that Jesus emitted these photons after He died. Even if you think that's a baseless assumption, it's still the ONLY assumption my theory requires. Occam's razor.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5581838&forum_id=2#48000020)



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Date: November 11th, 2024 2:28 PM
Author: Alcoholic Beady-eyed Candlestick Maker Codepig

I mean, maybe the whole time he was saying "I am the sun"

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5581838&forum_id=2#48323057)



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Date: November 11th, 2024 6:35 PM
Author: Magical Cream Ape



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5581838&forum_id=2#48324043)



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Date: August 23rd, 2024 5:52 PM
Author: crimson concupiscible macaca lodge

couldn't jesus also have just been very sweaty?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5581838&forum_id=2#48000025)



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Date: August 23rd, 2024 11:05 PM
Author: excitant pontificating deer antler place of business

Any liquid that got absorbed by the fibers would wick out into the surrounding fabric and give us a much blurrier image.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5581838&forum_id=2#48001076)



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Date: August 23rd, 2024 11:17 PM
Author: canary degenerate

IMO the people looking into the shroud of Turin or the pyramids are always liberal artists who don’t know wtf they’re talking about. An Engineer could come up with all sorts of shit we haven’t heard about. You could probably re-create the shroud of Turin by using some Herb or something

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5581838&forum_id=2#48001101)



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Date: August 23rd, 2024 11:20 PM
Author: excitant pontificating deer antler place of business

I came up with a homebrew solution too. However, it would never occur to me to use actual 1,400 year old cloth 700 years before we had the technology to determine the age of cloth.

Also, there was no way for a buyer to know how old a piece of cloth was cira 1350 AD. There was simply no society on earth that kept continuous track of time between 0AD and 1350. It would have been pure dumb luck that this forgery artist snagged a piece of cloth that was exactly the right age.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5581838&forum_id=2#48001110)



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Date: November 11th, 2024 2:23 PM
Author: Ivory garrison

Going to have to disagree with you here boss. It is completely conceivable that some Middle Age opportunists located some AUTHENTIC AD 0 cloth when raping and pillaging their way across the holy land and used it to fake the Shroud of Turin and straight DEFRAUD some wealthy gilded era venician merchants.

It could have been taken from a tomb with a date on it. Or used to wrap up some relics in a monastery and closely tracked across ages.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5581838&forum_id=2#48323045)



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Date: November 11th, 2024 6:32 PM
Author: Ivory garrison

BTW I was just flaming here to cause a scuffle and actually believe the shroud is legit

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5581838&forum_id=2#48324030)



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Date: November 11th, 2024 8:01 PM
Author: excitant pontificating deer antler place of business

The earliest the crusaders would have gotten there a thousand years after the cloth was made. Who was keeping tabs on anything for a 1000 years continuously anywhere in the world?

Grave robbery might make sense if there's an actual inscription you can read that gives the actual accurate date of the burial. But why bother? The Pope wasn't doing radiocarbon dating back then. Why wouldn't crusaders just use any old linen to make the entire thing?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5581838&forum_id=2#48324346)



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Date: August 23rd, 2024 11:21 PM
Author: Pink Double Fault Heaven

Jesus loves you and is the son of God.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5581838&forum_id=2#48001113)



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Date: August 27th, 2024 7:22 AM
Author: red sinister sneaky criminal

great (and correct) use of deific capitalization itt

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5581838&forum_id=2#48013119)



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Date: August 27th, 2024 7:53 AM
Author: harsh stock car



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5581838&forum_id=2#48013152)



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Date: August 27th, 2024 8:12 AM
Author: canary degenerate



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5581838&forum_id=2#48013181)



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Date: November 11th, 2024 2:29 PM
Author: Bipolar comical school

jesus wants me for a sunbeam

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5581838&forum_id=2#48323063)



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Date: November 11th, 2024 2:56 PM
Author: iridescent razzmatazz field

if this is the real image of Jesus, that makes Trump the real antichrist and Elon Musk is his Head Demon of Lies and Evil. Elon Musk rearranged is, after all, Lone Skum.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5581838&forum_id=2#48323159)



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Date: November 11th, 2024 6:53 PM
Author: Seedy chest-beating pit

Blood stains across the head and wrists and slashes to the back. Pretty good chance it's the real deal.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5581838&forum_id=2#48324097)



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Date: November 22nd, 2025 5:43 PM
Author: https://imgur.com/a/o2g8xYK




(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5581838&forum_id=2#49452530)