Feed stampedes

Mating contention

Disease transmission amongst bbw herd

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2387577&forum_id=2#24300078)

Sadly, studies suggest that food-in-mouth disease has killed more BBW heifers than all other diseases combined

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2387577&forum_id=2#24304175)

The bbw staple diet of high-fat, greasy junk food and frequent grazing of such leads to unpredictable excretion. Expect your bbws to have, on average, six oily anal discharges a day in addition to several more urinations. Average time spent during excretion is about seven minutes, but the key is to note that many bbws will take an additional five to ten minutes to clean their filthy coats post-excretion. Most importantly, the nature of bbw diet causes the bbw to have little control over delay of excretion; the majority of bbws typically need to be at the place of excretion within about 60 seconds of the first signs of moving bowels.

Practically speaking, then, the bbw rancher is urged to have no less than (n/3) + 1 excretion devices where n = the number of bbws in the herd. Even so, contention may still arise and excretion accidents should be expected. It's best to have bleach, rags, size 15 sweat pants and matches on hand at all times.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2387577&forum_id=2#24304133)

Could you expand on bbw breeding?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2387577&forum_id=2#24379555)

The heftiest heifer might require special equipment to hoist her up into a position where coitus is both safe and logistically feasible. I recommend an industrial strengh lift like a LoadMaster, or for the rancher who is just starting out, the bucket of a Bobcat or an intricate system of levers and pulleys. Some bbws you will just need a hoist to lift her gunt up out of the way to achieve penetration. Others will basically require an inverse weight load distribution to angle them appropriately using the earth's gravity to pull the flab away.

Once you have peeled away the rolls to expose that sweet, engorged honeypot, you may notice that the diameter of the love canal has grown excessively wide and cavernous as your sweet sow herself grew in girth. Next time i'll address some helpful hints to tighten things up and make the experience more optimally pressurized.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2387577&forum_id=2#24379736)

I tend to keep my bbws in the "tuesday afternoon at the strip club" range of bbw which is thin, but they have less medical issues which, again, has a positive impact on revenue and profit in the long run.

I would meet her with just a smattering of popcorn crumbs on your lapels. Invite her to a local family chain restaurant in the early evening so to maximize happy hour specials. Order two appetizers and you will be well on the way to securing a new calf for the herd.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2387577&forum_id=2#24379938)

But I don't believe in animal cruelty, so I take a more "humane" approach. I've built a number of isolated holding pens where I restrict their food intake. Their diet consists of a small ziplock of frozen pot roast per day. I also refuse them of their normal BBC stud. Instead I opt for a sickly asian man to take those duties over. After years of being reamed by BBC, most BBWs are quick to cooperate again and reenter my herd population.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2387577&forum_id=2#24380448)

Much like you buckaroos may be familiar with the rodeo concept of "cutting," wherein a skilled horseman rides into the middle of a herd and deftly selects one vulnerable heifer to separate and gradually guide away from the group to be branded and subdued, similar tactics should be employed on your target human cattle. Pick your girlish guernsey based on tell-tale signs: robust, healthy udders, supple and healthy sheen, and a playful swish of her ample, size 22 tail.

Lest any rival ranch-hand attempt to swoop in and rustle away your newly-acquired bovoid belle, I recommend you close the deal by ushering her to the nearest 24-hour greasy spoon where you can ply her with industry-standard prefab carbohydrate feed. This calms and pleases your sassy shorthorn and reacts with the alcohol already sloshing around her four stomachs. It will be much easier to get her back to your corral and she will be calmed down and ready to take the branding iron.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2387577&forum_id=2#24586349)

My strategy is similar to yours. First, I clean to the F-150. Take it to the local car wash and give her all the works. BBWs love a clean truck. The shine of the red paintjob and the clean bed lining shows attention to detail they tend to appreciate. I, of course, have a peacocking outfit that perfect for an expedition. I iron my wranglers, polish my Big Rig belt buckle, get my boots shined up and throw on my trusty Apex Predator Randy Orton t-shirt and off I go. Naturally, I utilize my charm, wit and homemade cologne made of lard and crushed cheetos to lure them to the truck bed and then the rest, as they say, is history.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2387577&forum_id=2#24599742)

Please help.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2387577&forum_id=2#25262268)

Assemble your team of honchos and arrange them with the greatest care. Ideally you can assign one cowpoke to one--at most, two--bessies when they come charging down the lane to the trough. A skilled cowboy practiced in the art of "cutting" these cows from the herd one by one and leading them off into a quiet, secluded part of the club to be subdued and branded will eventually funnel off enough of the critical mass of the stampede to prevent the loss of life and limb. This also leaves you as the trailboss to direct the remaining heifers and take your pick of the most spirited, and typically the most hefty, of the pack. As these creatures carry ample weight they are often driven by inertia and you will often find yourself with the plumpest pick of the pack that has charged on ahead, unable to stop until she ends up at the end of the gauntlet in your arms, when the dust has settled.

A note of caution: keep an eye on your hired help at all times. No one wants a traitorous trailhand who will "cut" the choicest heifers off from the herd for himself and attempt to dip his dusty trail-wick into the communual trough behind your back, either.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2387577&forum_id=2#25262417)

Much like the cattle auctions of yore that were the seminal event in the best western ranching towns, these sumptuous displays of ample flesh are often the premier social event in whatever town they are held on that particular evening. Not only are they an excellent way simply to take the pulse of the local cattle market, but they can also provide the opportunity for an enterprising young buckaroo to try his halter on a feisty young Holstein maiden.

In a nod to the noble heritage of the cattle trade, the former cow towns of centuries past are still best places to see what these modern day meat markets have to offer. Kansas City or Abilene offer ample venues from Golden Corral, Applebee's, TGI Friday's, and a host of other local establishments, where the young vaquero can ply his trade, wet his whistle, and, perhaps, dig his spurs into a spry, sassy Shorthorn.

Local feedlot establishments will often advertise these events in the daily broadsheet. Occasionally a minimum gross adipose weight of the participants is suggested to wean out the yearlings or other specimens still on the upswing. These events are not for greenhorns, but only the most impressive specimens turn out for these events. Sometimes these events are trumpeted publicly, in other instances the assembly is more surreptitious and a trailboss must ask those "in the know" where the best stockyard speculating may be had.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2387577&forum_id=2#25262374)

The dry period is the most important phase of a BBW’s reproductive cycle. During this phase, as the BBW's tract prepares for the next insemination, approximately 70% of all BBW's experience increased appetite and lethargy that can lead the BBW to wallow in squalor. Any abnormalities in cleanliness during the dry period will have a negative effect on the BBW's health and reproductive possibilities, resulting in pelvic inflammatory diseases and thrush.

Therefore, to prevent new infections from occurring BBWs should be dried off methodically and carefully after both feeding and defecation.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2387577&forum_id=2#25553516)

Often times when you are out on the town whetting your whistle after a hard day's ride your eyes will naturally survey the crowd at the watering hole and see if there are any prime cattle who have wandered in that you can make a move on and rustle up to make part of your herd. Often times these bountiful belles will be in the company of one or more slender friends. Sometimes this rail-thin cowgirl will even be "hot" by convential social standards. However, if she were weighed and judged by a blue ribbon committee of the Kansas City Royal Stockyard show, she would be found wanting and determined to only be good for rendering into industrial bi-products. You, wise trailboss, know that the real PAY DIRT lies in the enormous sagging folds of her 350 pound BBW friend.

If you concentrate your herding efforts on the slender young hottie, the principle of reverse psychology will begin to take effect. If you can win the slender lass and get her to follow you back to your corral, your true intended target will naturally follow. This is as natural as when young calves follow their ma bessie around yearning and puckering for the nourishing milk of her overstuffed udders. Never forget that as a rancher you are dealing with herd animals and the herd mentality, and you only desire the plumpest, juiciest, and most ROBUST animal in the entire herd.

When you have lured the pair back to your lair, the slender maiden is SHOCKED to find that you have disregarded her and left her in the hallway while you go to town, heating your branding iron in the fires of desire to PLUNGE into that round, jiggling, USDA certified prime beef that followed her there.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2387577&forum_id=2#26774057)

I wanted to share a useful trick that can help any young greenhorn out there. I call it the Cow-Calf Imprint Method. I learned this from watching magnificent BBW beasts in the wild. Often times in a herd of BBWs there will be a dominant mother type figure. Inevitably, she is the fattest and most succulent sow of the lot. These overripe maidens tend to attract other fatties and budding BBWs into their orbit due to shared interests (gorging, shopping in the elastic waistband section at WalMart, etc.) or just plain old gravitational pull. Concentrate your efforts on this heftiest of the heifers and you'll be amazed at the rich dividends it can pay off.

Often times the BBW will emit a pungent pheromonic odor during coitus that clings to their grease-clogged pores for days. Don't ask me how, but many. BBW-in-waiting can pick up on this and will start coming by your ranch uninvited with an eye towards getting hogtied and taking the branding iron.

I've found there is even a sort of mathematical certainty to how many devotees a true sweetheart of the rodeo, a real queen beeBw, will attract. Starting out with an entry-level 400 pounder can easily net you two young followers each weighing in at 200 lbs. If you manage to bag a 600 pounder, you can be sure three 200#s will be quite literally banging down your door for a chance to break your bedframe. This can be redistributed as such...600/2, 3, on down the line. At some point you will face diminishing returns as the work required to fuck a 700# and up SSBBW is often more than what you would gain by pursuing a couple of bessies in the 350-400 pound range. But don't let me discourage you as you're out there on the dusty trail. Hell, one of my ranch hands just netted a 785 pound BBW that was awarded a blue ribbon at the Iowa State Fair and he is already out of room to store more contacts in his phone. Even asked for a raise so he could install industrial strength iron ore mining industry shocks in his pickup truck for future dinner dates. The point is, never stop dreaming, and never let a door frame or a surly manager at Golden Corral be your reason for having one less head of cattle in your herd.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2387577&forum_id=2#28594053)

Of course, I know y'all are veterans at the selective use of bulls. At this point, bulls are so commonly used in breedin' that ranchers without one are considered just plain primitive. Your bossies and betsies will desert you left and right if'n you can't keep 'em in line with a bull or three.

Unauthorized breedin' has, until recently, been a cost of doin' business. Birds gotta swim, fish gotta fly -- and bulls, well, they can't be bulls without breedin'. Or such was the gen'ral consensus. Nowadays, though, crossover between BBW experts and BDSM experts has led to the development of the PENECTOMIZED GOMER BULL. This bull is a bull where it counts, identifyin' and primin' cows in heat -- but a nullo down south, where he'd prefer it the other way.

With a few gomer bulls in your stable, your BBWs in heat will be mooin' hard with frustration. Keepin' them off you long enough to fit 'em with the breedin' harness is goin' to be your only consarn. And that's a fact.

http://www.producer.com/2001/11/different-ways-to-make-a-gomer-bull-animal-health/

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2387577&forum_id=2#34454641)