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Evan39 here - My Firm (Perkins Coie) knows about my other "life."

I was called into a conference room on the 40th floor. The o...
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Geriatric effete love of her life
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eye$ like faded legal pads tp
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Poast new message in this thread



Reply

Date: July 5th, 2025 2:39 AM
Author: unholy vermilion newt

I was called into a conference room on the 40th floor. The ones with the panoramic windows that perfectly frame the gray, weeping sky and the growing sprawl of homele$$ tents below.

A Senior Partner, one of the ancient ones with eye$ like faded legal pads, sat across from me.

He didn't smile.

"We've had our 'eyes' on you for some time now, 'Evan,'" he began, his voice as sterile as the polished mahogany between us.

"It seems you've been living two lives. In one life, you're a Senior Equity Partner at one of the most preftigious firms in the Pacific Northwest. You have a 401(k), you pay your crippling taxes, and you... patiently explain complex litigation strategy to our most demanding client$."

He paused, letting the silence hang in the air.

"The other life is lived on the 'forums.' Where you go by the monikers 'Evan39' and some diapered, brain-damaged fool "Boom." There, you are guilty of virtually every computer crime we have a policy for: terminal self-pity, leaking narratives of workplace despair, and associating with known agents of chaos. One of these lives has a future, Evan. One of them does not."

"I'm going to be as forthcoming as I can be. You're here because we need your help. We know you've been contacted by a certain individual. A poaster who calls himself... 'Mainlining'".

He slid a printout across the table. It was one of Mainlining's poasts about The Mahchine™.

"Whatever you think you know about this man is irrelevant," the Partner continued, his gaze unwavering. "He is considered by many on the Executive Committee to be the most unproductive influence on Firm morale. My colleagues believe I am wasting my time. But I believe you wish to do the right thing. We are willing to wipe the slate clean. A transfer to our new Boise office, perhaps. A fre$h start. And all we ask in return is your cooperation in bringing this... unproductive cycle of negativity to an end."

The cursor on his laptop blinked. The rain pattered against the glass. I could see my own reflection, pale and tired.

This is fine.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5746353&forum_id=2#49073491)



Reply

Date: August 23rd, 2026 9:24 PM
Author: unholy vermilion newt



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5746353&forum_id=2#50088145)



Reply

Date: August 27th, 2026 1:10 AM
Author: unholy vermilion newt



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5746353&forum_id=2#50096006)



Reply

Date: September 28th, 2026 6:34 PM
Author: unholy vermilion newt



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5746353&forum_id=2#50159468)



Reply

Date: July 5th, 2025 2:40 AM
Author: salmon appetizing church organic girlfriend

?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5746353&forum_id=2#49073493)



Reply

Date: July 5th, 2025 2:46 AM
Author: unholy vermilion newt
Subject: Boise i$ not a place, friend—it i$ a flag



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5746353&forum_id=2#49073497)



Reply

Date: July 5th, 2025 2:46 AM
Author: marvelous pocket flask property



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5746353&forum_id=2#49073496)



Reply

Date: July 5th, 2025 3:33 AM
Author: unholy vermilion newt



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5746353&forum_id=2#49073516)



Reply

Date: July 5th, 2025 11:40 PM
Author: unholy vermilion newt



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5746353&forum_id=2#49075369)



Reply

Date: July 5th, 2025 11:50 PM
Author: Carnelian slippery mental disorder mediation



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5746353&forum_id=2#49075410)



Reply

Date: July 5th, 2025 11:51 PM
Author: unholy vermilion newt



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5746353&forum_id=2#49075418)



Reply

Date: July 6th, 2025 12:51 AM
Author: Geriatric effete love of her life



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5746353&forum_id=2#49075528)



Reply

Date: July 6th, 2025 3:41 PM
Author: unholy vermilion newt



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5746353&forum_id=2#49076607)



Reply

Date: July 6th, 2025 3:41 PM
Author: Sick Patrolman International Law Enforcement Agency

eye$ like faded legal pads tp

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5746353&forum_id=2#49076609)



Reply

Date: July 6th, 2025 3:42 PM
Author: unholy vermilion newt



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5746353&forum_id=2#49076610)



Reply

Date: July 9th, 2025 12:46 AM
Author: unholy vermilion newt



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5746353&forum_id=2#49085107)



Reply

Date: July 9th, 2025 1:48 PM
Author: unholy vermilion newt



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5746353&forum_id=2#49086719)



Reply

Date: August 6th, 2025 5:43 PM
Author: unholy vermilion newt



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5746353&forum_id=2#49162905)



Reply

Date: July 9th, 2025 12:46 AM
Author: unholy vermilion newt



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5746353&forum_id=2#49085105)



Reply

Date: July 10th, 2025 1:20 AM
Author: unholy vermilion newt



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5746353&forum_id=2#49088958)



Reply

Date: August 6th, 2025 5:44 PM
Author: unholy vermilion newt



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5746353&forum_id=2#49162908)