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PROTIP: use "Websters dictionary defines..." to start ur closing

It has a reputation now as this hackneyed expression, which ...
Adventurous ocher casino
  04/24/15
...
charismatic cobalt ratface
  04/24/15
...
Bateful pea-brained cuckold national security agency
  04/24/15
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Honey-headed circlehead
  04/24/15
did this today
low-t chest-beating mental disorder area
  10/22/15
"A lot changed on 9/11..."
diverse box office
  10/22/15
(guy who wrote a great college essay)
slap-happy menage
  10/22/15
"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury..." *briefcase f...
Unhinged dull abode legend
  10/22/15
...
bipolar community account selfie
  10/22/15
...
Word combinations
  10/08/25
(high school debate semifinalist)
Multi-colored brass orchestra pit
  10/22/15
...
Adventurous ocher casino
  05/16/16
who the fuck was webster
Adulterous Jew Temple
  05/16/16
Noah Webster. Just some autistic bro who really liked words
Adventurous ocher casino
  05/16/16
whats his moniker
Adulterous Jew Temple
  05/16/16
CharlesXII
Adventurous ocher casino
  05/16/16
...
Submissive bistre hairy legs
  12/28/16
180 advice it will hit the jury like some sort of heavy book...
Puce base
  12/28/16
"Urban dictionary defines 'STAY WOKE' as . . . "
Curious mexican cuckoldry
  12/28/16
...
Submissive bistre hairy legs
  11/11/20
...
charcoal seedy clown
  07/26/24
...
Paralegal Adolf Hitler
  10/08/25


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Date: April 24th, 2015 2:57 PM
Author: Adventurous ocher casino

It has a reputation now as this hackneyed expression, which is why it WORKS. The jury always perks up because it's so unexpected. Also it frames the issue very clearly: this is the plain definition, here are the facts, the facts don't match the accusation, acquittal. I literally bring a well-worn old dictionary and thump it onto the jury railing.

Prosecutors get flustered as FUCK and end up reacting to me rather than making their own case, and it makes them look gay as hell. They smirk or scoff, which makes them look like douches. They usually take time in their own closings to say something about "the defense counsel's old tricks and theatrics" but that just reminds the jury even more.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2#27751704)



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Date: April 24th, 2015 3:13 PM
Author: charismatic cobalt ratface



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2#27751815)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 24th, 2015 3:17 PM
Author: Bateful pea-brained cuckold national security agency



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2#27751846)



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Date: April 24th, 2015 3:26 PM
Author: Honey-headed circlehead



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2#27751921)



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Date: October 22nd, 2015 1:59 PM
Author: low-t chest-beating mental disorder area

did this today

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2#29022119)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 3:23 PM
Author: diverse box office

"A lot changed on 9/11..."

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2#29022597)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 3:24 PM
Author: slap-happy menage

(guy who wrote a great college essay)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2#29022604)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 3:25 PM
Author: Unhinged dull abode legend

"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury..." *briefcase full of dictionaries falls open*

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2#29022609)



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Date: October 22nd, 2015 3:31 PM
Author: bipolar community account selfie



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2#29022646)



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Date: October 8th, 2025 8:52 PM
Author: Word combinations (2 make yer heart skip)



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2#49335488)



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Date: October 22nd, 2015 3:33 PM
Author: Multi-colored brass orchestra pit

(high school debate semifinalist)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2#29022657)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 16th, 2016 7:19 PM
Author: Adventurous ocher casino



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2#30492581)



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Date: May 16th, 2016 7:20 PM
Author: Adulterous Jew Temple

who the fuck was webster

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2#30492585)



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Date: May 16th, 2016 7:25 PM
Author: Adventurous ocher casino

Noah Webster. Just some autistic bro who really liked words

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2#30492630)



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Date: May 16th, 2016 7:27 PM
Author: Adulterous Jew Temple

whats his moniker

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2#30492644)



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Date: May 16th, 2016 7:37 PM
Author: Adventurous ocher casino

CharlesXII

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2#30492706)



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Date: December 28th, 2016 5:17 PM
Author: Submissive bistre hairy legs



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2#32250208)



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Date: December 28th, 2016 5:18 PM
Author: Puce base

180 advice it will hit the jury like some sort of heavy book!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2#32250216)



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Date: December 28th, 2016 5:20 PM
Author: Curious mexican cuckoldry

"Urban dictionary defines 'STAY WOKE' as . . . "

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2#32250229)



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Date: November 11th, 2020 11:38 PM
Author: Submissive bistre hairy legs



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2#41347456)



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Date: July 26th, 2024 1:08 PM
Author: charcoal seedy clown



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2#47895234)



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Date: October 8th, 2025 8:51 PM
Author: Paralegal Adolf Hitler (✅🍑)



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2#49335487)