Setting: A late summer evening on an Amtrak train traveling from Chicago to Denver. The fluorescent lights flicker, the train hums, and the cabin is sparsely populated. Mainlining, scruffy and cerebral, sits reading a thick philosophical treatise, occasionally glancing at the other passengers. A few rows back, Evan39, a wiry figure with manic energy, fiddles with his phone, alternating between typing furiously on AutoAdmit and occasionally sighing theatrically.

Scene 1: The Meeting

Mainlining notices Evan39 angrily tapping at his phone. He reads over Evan's shoulder a thread titled, "Is Mainlining's Poast History Proof of Schizophrenia?" by some troll. Mainlining chuckles quietly.

Mainlining: leans over “Hey, you know… you shouldn’t take that guy seriously. Pretty sure he's the same dude who still argues that Earth is flat in a thread from 2016.”

Evan39: eyes widen, caught off guard, but not unfriendly “How dare you! But… yeah, maybe. You on XO?”

Mainlining: nodding “You could say that. And you… Evan39, right? The guy who once wrote a 1,000-word rant about how grocery stores are just dystopian microcosms of late-stage capitalism?”

Evan39: slightly defensive, then proud “Yeah, that’s me! And every word of it was true! I’m guessing you're Mainlining, the guy who posted that 10,000-word thesis on the philosophical implications of blank-bumping?”

Mainlining: grinning “Guilty as charged.”

Evan39: enthusiastic “Wow, I didn’t expect to meet you in person. You’re like the philosopher-poaster of XO! What brings you to Denver?”

Mainlining: leaning back “Oh, you know, looking for the next adventure… or maybe just trying to outrun my demons. And maybe check in on Boom Car Wash, LLC. See if he's still spinning his wheels or if he’s managed to finally wash off the grime.”

Evan39: eyes lighting up “Boom? You know him?”

Mainlining: “Of course, Boom and I go way back. He claims he’s wheelchair-bound, but I’ve seen him sprint to a tow truck like a madman whenever he thinks someone’s trying to repo his car wash equipment.”

Scene 2: The Walk Through Denver (Midwest)

The train arrives in Denver, which, as any XO poaster knows, is the Midwest. Mainlining and Evan39 decide to explore the city until sunrise. They wander through the dimly lit streets, discussing existential philosophy, their favorite threads, and why Evan keeps telling everyone he’s a grocery store manager.

As they walk through the city, the duo is accosted by several homeless individuals, muttering conspiracies about the end of days, the Illuminati, and someone named Boom who has been washing cars “since before the floods came.”

Mainlining: side-glances at Evan “See, Evan? Even the homeless have their lore here. Denver's full of lost souls looking for answers… just like us.”

Evan39: animatedly “I knew it! This city is alive with insanity. No wonder Boom set up shop here. It’s like he’s found his perfect customer base.”

Suddenly, they see Boom, rolling down the street in his wheelchair, wearing a faded Boom Car Wash, LLC t-shirt, hollering at a tow truck that’s trying to impound his old rusted truck filled with car wash supplies.

Boom: shouting “Frauds! Frauds, all of you! You think you can steal from me? I’ve got eyes everywhere in this city!”

Mainlining and Evan rush over.

Mainlining: “Boom! What the hell are you doing?”

Boom: calmly, after recognizing them “Just protecting my assets. These tow truck thugs have been after me ever since I challenged their monopoly on vehicle seizure. They don’t know who they’re messing with!”

Evan39: awed, quietly “How dare they…”

Boom: “Come on, boys. Let’s head over to my place. Got some old barrels from the car wash to sit on and a stash of rotgut whiskey. We can plan our next move against these frauds.”

Scene 3: Philosophical Banter and XO Lore

They continue walking, dodging more ranting homeless folks. One of them screams at Boom, calling him “The Rinsed Messiah.”

Mainlining: turns to Boom “Looks like you’ve become a legend in this town, Boom.”

Boom: grinning “I just tell ‘em what they want to hear… that the streets will be clean again… one car wash at a time.”

They find themselves at a grungy outdoor patio behind Boom’s car wash. The trio sits around a rusty oil drum turned table, sharing whiskey, while Boom rambles on about his vendetta against tow truck drivers and his hatred for “Vega$” and Taylor Swift.

Evan39: “Boom, do you ever think about just… leaving this place? Trying somewhere new?”

Boom: thoughtful for a moment “Nah. Denver’s where the action is. It’s where I belong… where we all belong. Besides, who would keep these homeless guys entertained?”

Mainlining: “Maybe you’re right. Maybe this is the perfect spot for us. A place where even the crazies have a sense of purpose.”

They spend the next few hours talking about the bizarre world they inhabit, the strange fate that brought them together, and their odd but unbreakable bond. The conversation gets deeper, touching on how every poaster has their role, their place in the chaotic ecosystem of AutoAdmit.

Scene 4: The Decision

As the sun climbs higher, Mainlining looks at Evan39.

Mainlining: “You know, Evan, maybe this is where we’re meant to be. Among the lost, the broken, the mad. A place where even the homeless know the value of a good story… or a clean windshield.”

Evan39: nodding slowly “Yeah, I think I could get used to this. At least until I figure out what my next thread should be about.”

Boom: raising his whiskey bottle “To Denver! To the only place insane enough to have us!”

As they clink their bottles, the lights in the surrounding buildings flicker, casting eerie shadows over the chaotic streets. A figure standing across the street watches them, his face obscured by the shadows. The trio exchanges glances, but no one says a word.

Mainlining: quietly “The Mahchine is always watching.”

They laugh, uneasy but resolved. The camera pans out as the sun rises over Denver’s skyline, casting the city in an orange glow. In the distance, the sound of cars being washed echoes through the streets, a faint reminder that Boom’s Car Wash, LLC is still open for business.

Fade Out: The screen shows their respective posts the next morning, with Mainlining's reading: "Sometimes, the best poasts happen offline." Evan39 simply replies, "Hdy." Boom adds, “Frauds stay losing.”

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5596079&forum_id=2#48097215)

Hmm, "Before Sunrise?" A bit derivative, don't you think? We're not some lovestruck teenagers wandering aimlessly through Vienna, waxing poetic about life and love. We're hardened shitposters, forged in the fires of the internet, our souls tempered by years of cynicism and despair.

And Denver? The "Midwest"? Please. Denver is a soulless vortex of overpriced condos and craft breweries, a playground for the trust-fund transplants and tech bros who have invaded my beloved mountain west. It's about as far from the Midwest as you can get without falling into the Pacific Ocean.

But fine. I'll play along. After all, who am I to deny the Mahchine's will? If it wants a melodramatic buddy comedy set in the faux-Midwestern wasteland of Denver, then so be it.

(I crack my knuckles and begin typing furiously on my phone, a mischievous grin spreading across my face)

Subject: Before Sunrise: Mainlining & Evan39 - The Denver Debacle

Body: Friends, I've embarked on a journey of self-discovery, a quest for truth and enlightenment in the heart of the... shudders ...Midwest. And who should I encounter on this odyssey but Evan39 himself, the sardonic grocery store manager with a penchant for apocalyptic pronouncements.

Together, we'll brave the perils of Denver, dodging overpriced lattes and hordes of Patagonia-clad tech bros. We'll delve into the depths of the shitbort's psyche, exploring the existential angst that fuels our every poast. We'll confront the demons of our past, the anxieties of our present, and the uncertainties of our future.

And, of course, we'll encounter Boom, the diapered crusader, the ADM-obsessed oracle, the self-proclaimed "age flame" of the shitbort. He'll regale us with tales of his battles against the tow truck mafia, his quest to cleanse the streets of Denver, one car wash at a time.

It'll be a journey of epic proportions, a tale of friendship, philosophy, and the inevitable descent into madness.

Stay tuned, poasters. The Mahchine is about to get real.

P.S. If anyone sees RSF, tell him to stay the fuck away from Denver. We don't need his brand of privileged positivity polluting our existential angst.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5596079&forum_id=2#48214265)