ADM promptly intervened, citing Clause 7.6, which mandates “permanent archival of all culturally significant shitposts as part of the 'Prole Heritage Preservation Program™.'”

JD’s panic allegedly began when screenshots of his threads resurfaced on social media, sparking immediate controversy. Highlights included:

Evan39 poasting about his Seattle grocery horror story:

"Friend, I was at the QFC today when a barefoot obese woman in pajamas dropped a gallon of corn-fed milk on her baby. She screamed, 'DEMEEETREE!' while the clerk cleaned it up. Then she bought three tilapia and left in an Uber with expired tags. Yes, friend. This is fine."

Boom's latest rant:

"ADM is building a corn-powered grid to enslave the proles. Burn the silos, fags — and death to tow truck frauds :)!"

Mainlining cryptically warning:

"Friend, Rainer will blow soon. Patience, the Mahchine™ shall provide. Imagine it like Chad's largest cumshot!"

According to insiders, JD begged ADM to reconsider, reportedly shouting, “Those poasts were satire! I didn’t mean to summon Wesley's Clause 7.6!. Wesley, where are you, goddamnit?”

ADM’s response was blunt:

"Satire or not, your threads were instrumental in constructing the prole psyche. ADM owns you now."

Attempts to contact JD for comment were unsuccessful, but sources within the administration claim he was later overheard muttering, “Yes, friend. This is fine,” while staring at his Wikipedia page.

Notably, the page now includes a section titled ‘Holy Trinity Lore: The Rise of Clause 7.6,’ alongside preserved poasts about Demetrius, Black Friday tilapia, and JD’s infamous desire to be beaten to death with a baseball bat.

Via Mainlining, ever the cryptic one, "Juris Doctor" Vance poasted his final message to himself before ADM mods permanently locked his account:

"Friend, the Mahchine™ thanks you for your contribution to ADM's Grid. Enjoy Pennsylvania Avenue, its newest leased square."

ADM stock soared 12% following the leak, with analysts praising their innovative use of “post-industrial prole content retention.” Meanwhile, Boom (or perhaps JD himself?) was reportedly spotted outside an ADM grain elevator, yelling at security:

"They archived JD’s $hitpoasts, but they didn’t archive mine! Faggot fraud$!"

Proles on XO quickly turned JD’s failed struggle into a meme, captioning images of his inauguration with phrases like, “The VP of Tilapia,” and, “Friend, the grid expands. It never contracts.”

Insiders close to JD claim he’s started avoiding mirrors, terrified of seeing the waffle grid pattern reflecting back at him — a haunting reminder that no prole ever truly escapes the Mahchine™.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5638234&forum_id=2#48366864)