Tough watching people in their 40s wreck themselves with booze
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Poast new message in this thread
Date: January 29th, 2017 10:24 PM Author: adventurous shrine
20s, nobody cares because we all do it.
30s, most of us slow down and you start realize who might be showing signs of a problem.
40s, it's very obvious.
You see their work, looks, families, and mental health just fucking implode. Years of compulsive boozing takes a massive toll. The physical difference between a routine, hard drinker and a normal person at 45 can be startling.
I am still a GC-cucked lawyer slave and I currently work around people that average about a decade older than me. I would say 10% have a debilitating alcohol problem. Of that fraction, about half are open drinkers and the rest try to keep it a secret. Out of all of them, the person who I am certain is in the most dire circumstances has never been visibly drunk around me or anyone else we work with. But all the signs are there, neon bright.
I can't say it enough times so I'll just evangelize to you brothers quickly. If you need to self-medicate, then learn to utilize marijuana on a regular basis. Of all the things you can choose it will fuck you up the least in the long run. I love drinking but if I suddenly realized that I was dependent, I would go cold turkey that instant. If you're a slow burn progressive alcoholic, as most are, you won't realize how deep you're into it until you're in crisis. The genetic wasters were all made to face their problems in their 20s, even teens. They cleaned up, or else prison, death, homelessness, other brutal consequences. They're out of the picture or sober. Escaping this early fate lulls many of you into thinking that you're just fine, even as you go to sleep with a mushy forebrain five nights a week.
You brothers in your 30s who think you've hit some kind of sweet spot: you haven't. You're on the slow ride. I'm not saying don't drink. By all means, drink. But the second you think you really need it? Like, nothing else is going to do for you what alcohol is doing? You need to let it go. Let it go without regret. Pick up weed if you crave inebriation. You'll lose weight, feel better in the mornings, and you won't wear the physical signs of your addiction like a vasodilated badge.
I work with this one guy. Excellent attorney. Well known in his field, all the proper credentials and background signals. Fine to work with and doesn't display most of the ticks and obsessions that you see in seasoned biglawyers. He's fresh out of his third marriage, his kids hate him, his face is a patchwork of rosacea and broken blood vessels, he smells like fetid liquor sweat every other day, and he lives like a pig. He pays people to do almost everything for him because he can't manage on his own and he no longer cares about his lifestyle. He eats like a garbage disposal. No more marriages because even the money grubbing divorcee shrews can't stand to be with him on a physical level. He doesn't have much wealth to show for his years of grinding and everything it did to him. He'll never be able to detach from the bottle without forced detox and a new career, the latter being nearly impossible. And nobody cares enough about him anymore to push for change. He's late 50s but looks borderline elderly. Ten years ago he was decent looking, fit, socially inclined guy with happy teenaged children despite the marriages. Now he's a fucking puddle. His fingers are mangled from all the falls over the years.
Smoke weed, brothers. Smoke it up and don't look back.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3508537&forum_id=2#32494889) |
Date: January 29th, 2017 10:30 PM Author: frum razzle toilet seat
war on drugs
people could just chill with a bag of weed instead they are forced to drink themselves to death. All of my family in law enforcement do this
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3508537&forum_id=2#32494981) |
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Date: January 29th, 2017 11:41 PM Author: carnelian arousing stain base
No, sign in and click favorites on a specific post. It turns the star yellow.
To access your starred posts, go to xoxohth.com/showfavorites.php
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3508537&forum_id=2#32495765)
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Date: January 29th, 2017 10:41 PM Author: Bistre abnormal filthpig point
Who the fuck cares...these assholes deserve it for being dicks at work
Most people who choose to stay in biglaw longterm deserve to die in a pile of their own vomit, fat, alone and disgusting, on the bathroom floor
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3508537&forum_id=2#32495140) |
Date: January 29th, 2017 10:46 PM Author: Lemon Main People
cr. the best things I did for myself were picking up a fitness habit in my early 20s, never smoking until I turned 31, and refraining from alcohol other than a glass of wine maybe once a week.
otherwise i'm a complete mess.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3508537&forum_id=2#32495178) |
Date: January 29th, 2017 10:49 PM Author: sick gay wizard
Your last paragraph described my father to a T.
Twist: He's not alcoholic
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3508537&forum_id=2#32495224) |
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Date: January 29th, 2017 11:13 PM Author: frozen stimulating hominid factory reset button
Just late to the party. Was working. Deals got to close.
I don't disagree, but smoking pot makes a lot of people lazy. Drinking makes me motivated. When I was sober, I was a terrible lawyer. When I was drinking hard every night, I was a great lawyer.
A lot of very successful people were heavy drinkers. Churchill being the archetype.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3508537&forum_id=2#32495498) |
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Date: January 29th, 2017 11:21 PM Author: adventurous shrine
I am not here to demonize drinking and I think many people, myself included, lead a better life with substances.
I am here to tell people who are thoughtlessly rolling into a huge alcohol problem to snap the fuck out of it and pay attention to what they're doing to themselves.
For every Churchill or Tchaikovsky who is better with booze, there are 10,000 poor wretches who ruin their lives and get nothing but misery from their casual vice.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3508537&forum_id=2#32495579) |
Date: January 29th, 2017 10:55 PM Author: Wine Flatulent Stock Car Potus
*ctrl + f "poison" *
*smh*
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3508537&forum_id=2#32495298) |
Date: January 29th, 2017 11:04 PM Author: bull headed house
i'm like this guy's twin except ive never been married, dont drink or smoke weed and am a shitty attorney. wtf.
I work with this one guy. Excellent attorney. Well known in his field, all the proper credentials and background signals. Fine to work with and doesn't display most of the ticks and obsessions that you see in seasoned biglawyers. He's fresh out of his third marriage, his kids hate him, his face is a patchwork of rosacea and broken blood vessels, he smells like fetid liquor sweat every other day, and he lives like a pig. He pays people to do almost everything for him because he can't manage on his own and he no longer cares about his lifestyle. He eats like a garbage disposal. No more marriages because even the money grubbing divorcee shrews can't stand to be with him on a physical level. He doesn't have much wealth to show for his years of grinding and everything it did to him. He'll never be able to detach from the bottle without forced detox and a new career, the latter being nearly impossible. And nobody cares enough about him anymore to push for change. He's late 40s and looks almost 60. Ten years ago he was decent looking, fit, socially inclined guy with happy teenaged children despite the marriages. Now he's a fucking puddle.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3508537&forum_id=2#32495392)
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Date: January 29th, 2017 11:27 PM Author: vigorous associate hairy legs
not even that
idk I lose all motivation to do anything when i smoke weed. at the pinnacle of my stonerism I literally never went to class and just ate pizza, masturbated, watched tv, and got a 2.4 for the semester. stopped going to the gym and gained probably 30 pounds
even when im drinking constantly, ill still go to the gym and class and do my work and everything. i just feel like shit all the time.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3508537&forum_id=2#32495636) |
Date: January 30th, 2017 3:53 PM Author: Infuriating Painfully Honest Pit Coffee Pot
lol FUCK NO. alcohol can be shitty and its definitely terrible for you're looks but marijuana turns people even more boring and retarded than they already are. drinkmos>>>weedmos any day.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uy3y5588cko
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3508537&forum_id=2#32501252) |
Date: February 2nd, 2017 10:18 PM Author: adventurous shrine
I just want to briefly emphasize that denial in your 30s seems to be the main precursor to truly ruinous alcoholism in your 40s. These people all coast through this period, probably their most productive and essential runway to a comfortable career in full blown middle age. You can hang on through your 30s because your body hasn't fallen apart yet, you can dive into work, and your family is too dependent on your earning power to really take a stand.
But holy fuck brother brothers, it catches up. 40s is the meltdown decade when your mind and body truly degrade. Relationships sour, patience dwindles, and your ability to hide your dependent nature is cast into the sunlight. You see at-risk drinkers in their 30s and turn away because it's easier to gossip about it casually. Nobody wants to stare these people in the eye at this point. You see them in their 40s and everyone either openly shakes their head or takes the next step toward confrontation. Intervene with yourself if you think there's a chance this could be you. Fix it yourself before everyone around you makes it happen.
People treat you like a hero if you conquer alcohol dependence at the right time. Recognize when you're going down the tubes and will be forced to rehabilitate or make serious compromises. You'll have to give up the booze or everything else anyway. Make it your choice and you come out smelling like a rose. Take an ultimatum and you never seriously recover in the eyes of everyone around you.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3508537&forum_id=2#32532384) |
Date: February 18th, 2017 4:42 PM Author: adventurous shrine
Update: yesterday learned that the guy I discussed ITT is taking three weeks at an insanely inopportune time to recover from 'walking pneumonia.' Total bullshit. He was forced into a rehab, had an accident, or he is going to take himself out of the equation.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3508537&forum_id=2#32650912)
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Date: February 18th, 2017 4:52 PM Author: Clear Psychic
My old man, a pretty successful businessdood, literally drank himself to death when I was young.
That was enough to keep me off the stuff. I feel pretty sad when I see some of my friends heading down the path my dad did, but most of them can't see the direction they're heading.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3508537&forum_id=2#32650966) |
Date: February 18th, 2017 6:17 PM Author: Soul-stirring stag film
Is it problem drinking if you almost never get drunk?
I get drunk maybe 3 times a year. One time is always at my firms holiday party. I have a high tolerance so that might mean 12 drinks. Last night I had two bourbons and three small bottles of sake with dinner and was buzzed but not drunk. Do this once or twice a month at most.
During the week I will probably have the equivalent of 2 or 3 drinks three or four times a week. Usually while working.
Total volume I drink a lot but I don't think of myself as a drunk. Hard to see if there are physical effects. I am definitely dumber smoking eeed four days in a row.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3508537&forum_id=2#32651431) |
Date: February 18th, 2017 6:38 PM Author: obsidian provocative native
This is all pretty true.
it's tough being a hyper-conscious, anxious, depression-prone introvert who has to fake extroversion every day, deal with crushing debt, and constantly ponder the meaninglessness of life.
hence, alcohol.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3508537&forum_id=2#32651499) |
Date: February 18th, 2017 6:39 PM Author: Lascivious black bawdyhouse
Here is a different take:
I have never been a drinker. I have been drunk maybe 4 times in my life all around big events - changing job, losing a big trial. I have thrown up from alcohol two of those times. I never drank until I was 21. Was deathly afraid of getting caught and ruining academic career.
I am also very fat - turn to food for comfort.
I now work with people who are probably considered alcoholics. They don't drink beer, only hard liquor straight up and lots of it. I have had more to drink in the last 4 months than in my entire 35 years prior.
Strange thing: after drinking 3-4 whiskey/night while at trial, I slept better, didnt eat as much food, and generally didnt feel like shit all day. I think if i kept this up, I would lose weight and feel better. I just don't ike drinking enough.
Thoughts?//
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3508537&forum_id=2#32651505) |
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Date: March 3rd, 2017 12:53 AM Author: adventurous shrine
If you didn't binge drink consistently throughout your late teens and 20s, you can probably get a away with years of heavy drinking without any real long term impairment.
Consider that many of us were blacking out or close to it minimum once a week, 50 weeks a year give or take. From like ages 16-30. I mean I heard that's like average or whatever.
Anyway many people you know have ingested oceans of alcohol and you wouldn't necessarily suspect they have ill effects from it. They probably do long term but a person like you will be fine after years of routine drinking.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3508537&forum_id=2#32741393) |
Date: November 13th, 2017 5:47 AM Author: tan corner
Alcohol is poison and it never really appealed to me. I always like getting drunk, and will still get drunk 5-10 times a year (weddings, holiday parties, etc.), but the hangover/fear the following morning (which, at least for me, lasts the entire day) is not worth it.
I've smoked weed daily for the last 10 years -- and would go through years where I was high 24/7. I never had an alcohol problem so I can't compare it to booze, but there are certainly serious long term consequences of smoking weed on a daily basis. I have a shit memory, am lazy as hell (and I was lazy before I was regularly smoking), and constantly feel like there's a "haze" or "fog" in my head. I feel dumber...I don't speak/formulate thoughts as well.
I travel to Asia a fair bit for work, and I obviously can't smoke when I'm over there. There is noticeable improvement in my health, memory, and overall mental functions. Nonetheless, I always end up picking it back up when I return to the states.
My head wants me to stop smoking weed, so I can be sharper and so I can feel like I'm not shortchanging myself. My heart likes to get stoned, and wonders if my life would actually be any better if I was a longterm sobermo.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3508537&forum_id=2#34673754) |
Date: June 12th, 2018 3:32 PM Author: Soul-stirring stag film
So i used to be one of those people who drank all the time because it was necessary for social interaction. I was really proud of how much I drank and would push people to take shots and bullshit like that.
But since I got married I don't have social interaction anymore so I don't bother drinking. Also alcohol helps pick up slores which I no longer do.
I still get fucked up at weddings and xmas parties and the occasional trip with friends and will drink a bottle of wine or two with my wife twice a month, but I really have cut down a lot.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3508537&forum_id=2#36231935) |
Date: June 29th, 2018 12:20 PM Author: narrow-minded beady-eyed cumskin abode
TITCOP. I leave the drinking for legitimate social occasions and the non-competitive round of golf with friends. I'm done with having a drink on a worknight to "unwind", which would usually turn into 2-3 minimum. Now, the routine is come home, dinner with family, get kids to bed, hit the gym until 10, come home and have a relaxing smoke and then read or practice golf until bedtime. Absolutely no observable acute detriment to my physical or mental health.
My neighbor, on the other hand, is a couple of years younger than me and a real hard drinker. He looks a good 7-10 years older than me, fat, balding. His drinking is causing problems in his marriage and his kids have behavior issues since he loses it with them when he's wasted. Guy looks like he could drop dead at any minute. He also is always looking to sneak drinks away from his wife, so he ends up spending a lot of $$$ just stopping at bars on the way home from work.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3508537&forum_id=2#36335016) |
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