Date: April 12th, 2016 5:15 PM
Author: lavender aphrodisiac haunted graveyard pit
Rach - Thanks, DBG, for meeting with me for your annual performance review. I don't get to NYC as often as I used to; but since I was in the area, it's always great to be able to do this in person.
DBG - Nice to see you too, Mr. Rachmiel.
Rach - I gotta tell you, I've never been this far up the island. Are you certain that Inwood is still technically in Manhattan?
DBG - Yep, sure is. Cheap as Hell, too. Why pay $6.50 for a cup of coffee in upper Manhattan when you can come out here and pay 30% less? I schlep the PDDJ up here whenever I can to teach her the value of a dollar -- that is, when she's not cramping or spazzing or just in general being a yente.
Rach - Um ... yes. About the PDDJ ...
DBG - This meeting is expense-able, right? I got tea instead of coffee regardless, saving a buck. I've got the monthly transit pass, so I won't have to charge for the fare ..
Rach - Yes, of course you can expense your beverage. Just talk to perish in accounts payable to make sure you're set up to receive disbursements.
DBG - Great. You know, I'm glad I got tea anyway. I can fill up with hot water on the way home.
Rach - ... yes ...
DBG - Or you know what? I'll just save the bag and use it later. Or give it to the PDDJ! Ha ha.
Rach - *ahem*
DBG - Sorry, Mr. Rachmiel. I'm just kind of nervous, you know?
Rach - Not a problem. Let's just dive right in, shall we? I want to start off by thanking you, again, at how well you handled the six month suspension. As you recall, we started receiving unwanted attention from the FBI and Interpol because of your pederast proclivities. We need a wide range of poasters and topics to keep the board moving and maximize our click rates and time-on-site metrics. I've never come down hard on someone like that before for poasting pictures. But I just had to make the call. You came up with an incredible IRL flame to cover for it, though.
DBG - Yeah, that was a bad week for me, not a wink I slept. But then I was going through my coupon newsletters and found an advert for Couchsurfers. And bam! The idea came to me. I'm just sorry I had to delay the suspension as long as I did until a girl took me up on the couch surfing offer.
Rach - That's ok, it worked out for the the best. Tell me, was it part of your plan to entrap plucot with your actions?
DBG - No! I had no idea that shikse was a mod or whatever for couchsurfing! I was just going to try to go out on top, pretend that I was so hurt and angry by whatever poaster -- julia or bluesmoke, most likely -- called me out. But when rasqie started running her wide mouth, everything clicked.
Rach - You definitely did the board a solid with that. I was able to terminate plucot's contract for cause, get out of the golden parachute, and rid the board of one of the worst hiring decisions I ever made. And all with completely leaving your pederast poasting in the past. Well done.
DBG - *giggles*
Rach - And here's your bonus check for your performance. It doesn't make up for the lost wages of your six month suspension, I know, but I was able to clear some dollars from our premiums budget and give this to you.
DBG - Wow, really? Thanks, Mr. Rachmiel!
Rach - You're very welcome. One thing we miss ... wait, what are you doing?
DBG - *takes picture of check* Huh? Oh, just depositing this check now. I have to get it in by 4pm in order to be sure the amount credits today. Otherwise I'm just giving that night's interest to the bank.
Rach - O ... K. Listen, DBG, I don't have a ton of time. It's going to take me at least an hour to get back to central Manhattan.
DBG - Almost done ... ok, there. Sorry about that.
Rach - Sure. So I was saying, you've stayed away from pic poasting for the most part. I know that was a condition of your suspension. I think the board really missed the IDF-chick-threading, though, so you I think you can go back to doing that. Just make sure that they're clearly of age, ok? No pervy beach shots taken with your POS Canon telephoto lens.
DBG - Ok, Mr. Rachmiel. I certainly have a bunch of those pics saved! Ha ha. I'll just have to figure out a way to keep them from the PDDJ ...
Rach - Yes, about her. I have to congratulate you again, we've never had a poaster run a dating-a-jewish-girl schtick before. Very original. And your thread metrics are off the charts. But I think the schtick has become stale.
DBG - Wha? Huh? Stale?
Rach - Yes, DBG. Believe me, I know exactly what it's like to be living with jewish women. You're not exaggerating anything with what you're poasting. But, G-ddamn, it's so fucking grating reading it day after day. It's almost worse to read it in text rather than actually live it, if that makes any sense.
DBG - I .. don't .. huh?
Rach - Yeah, it's rough. It would be one thing if you were poasting pictures of her PDD's, but you've been following your picture poasting restrictions since your return from suspension. Thank you again for that, by the way. But the board has an insatiable appetite for chickpicthreading. That's another reason why it's a good idea for you to start IDF-chick-threading again soon.
DBG - Ok, Mr. Rachmiel, I'll keep that in mind.
Rach - Also, you should plan out when you're going to poast the inevitable breakup-moving out story with the PDDJ. We had it planned for Q4 2016 going into Q1 2017, but we're going to have more than enough TRUMPthreading to cover us at the end of the year. It's best if you move that break-up sooner ... maybe even as soon as the end of this month.
DBG - Before the vacation? But my expense spreadsheets!
Rach - Listen, I don't care if you actually do break up with her. I don't care if her DD's are really P or just elaborate flame. But we have to do what's best for the board.
DBG - Ok, Mr. Rachmiel. I'll get right on that.
Rach - Excellent. Otherwise, DBG, as you can see from your review, I marked you as "Excellent" overall, but with the reprimand remaining in your file. I look forward to seeing how you finish the year and we'll be in a position to talk about a new contract.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=3193389&forum_id=2#30257733)