Sorry missed your call. At dinner with a client. Will call to discuss at 10 PM. Please read the materials that I forwarded you this evening and begin the drafting the TRO. Let's file tomorrow. Thanks for jumping on this.
Date: October 6th, 2021 8:17 PM Author: stimulating brethren
*Opens email*
*No attachment*
"Hi. Sorry, I can't seem to find the attachment. Did you send it? Let me know if you did; I can call IT. Also, hope the dinner is going well. I was going to go to have dinner with my wife, but I'll stay here. Thankfully her friend will go with her. Really nice place. I'll have to tell you about it.
Also, I called but was redirected to your voicemail. I'll text you next.
*partner finally checks email after main course / before dessert*
Feel free to ask the client directly, no need to wait for me, thanks. Can we push our 10:00 PM to 8:00 AM tomorrow? Pitching this potential client hard, should get some business out of this. If you could have a working draft of the TRO ready by 8:00 AM tmrw that would be great, I can review before our call. Thx again.
"Please don't forget to CC me on all emails, this client trusts you (bragged hard about you) but does want to know the relationship partner is involved. Thx.
If you knock this out of the park, let's talk about fee splitting down-the-road.
Date: October 7th, 2021 1:54 PM Author: stimulating brethren
"Hey. About that fee splitting. When are you available to talk about it? I left a voicemail and sent a text. I think Linda (your secretary) is supposed to remind you.
Anyways. I am flying out to my mom's funeral. I'll be out of pocket from 12-3pm (EST) but will otherwise be generally available. Should be back in the office by Tuesday."
Where are we on the revised TRO? As discussed this morning, the initial draft looked like a rush job. We really need to file this today - have we lined up late night secretarial coverage? I'm heading out of town at 5 PM for my son's college basketball game tomorrow, so please send the updated draft ASAP.
Thanks again for helping on this. Johnny on the spot!
Sorry, just noticed your bit about your mother mom passing. I'm very sorry to hear about that. I wonder why you took this assignment on under these circumstances? Do we need to transfer this matter? Can I get the draft by 4 PM?
Date: October 7th, 2021 10:08 PM Author: stimulating brethren
*enters that out of pocket in the sky after consuming 5 5-hr energies and snorting adderall.*
Meanwhile back in NY, his wife is getting plowed by the doorman DeMarcus still wearing his timerlands, as her phone vibrations are muffled by her screams.
Date: October 9th, 2021 5:05 PM Author: stimulating brethren
*Wakes up from coma*
*Immediately grabs phone and sees 300 follow-up emails*
*Calls recruiter*
"Hi. We spoke a few weeks ago. You mentioned there were some inhouse opportunities available for someone like me. Are there any?"
Recruiter: Ohh yes. The market is hot right now. Let me see [proceeds to list practice areas that you're not in].
"Well...the thing is, I don't do any of that. I actually handle bet-the-farm litigation for F500 companies. I have some court experience too. I've handled a handful of depos too."
Recruiter: Ohhh..I see. Well. I don't see anything right now, but I have a great lateral opportunity with White & Case.