Mid 30s bro here. Changed tinder settings from 23-29 to 30-36
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Poast new message in this thread
Date: November 21st, 2014 12:08 PM Author: multi-colored kitchen jap
There are a surprising amount of attractive shrews in the 30-36 age group. They aren't hot nubile things, but the best of them have kept themselves together very well.
Desperate as all hell, though. 30-36 is a real pocket of vulnerability that you can exploit to your advantage if you're savvy.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2734145&forum_id=2#26765059) |
Date: November 21st, 2014 12:12 PM Author: azure sneaky criminal dilemma
Early 30s bro here, I definitely plan to shoot for 28-33 chicks if I'm single again. Ime, the cr ones are very cr. They're usually chilled out, good head on their shoulders, and have had to live as an independent adult long enough that they just "get it" and know how to get along without being quite so needy.
Early and mid-twenties chicks are a wildcard. It's not clear how they're gonna change as they grow up and experience irl adulthood.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2734145&forum_id=2#26765087) |
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Date: November 21st, 2014 12:28 PM Author: multi-colored kitchen jap
In my experience, wanting a "chill middle class life" is pretty much the opposite of "meeting the challenge and doing well".
All of the girls I know who are in this middle ground of wanting work-life balance but still having met certain career/life/self-sufficiency challenges think that "middle class" means earning $150-$200k at the lowest and taking ski trips to Breckenridge and spending Christmas in Anguilla. They're not spending heaps on BIGBRUNCH or have shopping addiction issues, but they also wouldn't be happy driving a used Subaru and visiting Aunt Joanne in Dayton, OH for the holidays.
They want everything that the upper class wants and has, but are just OK with it in smaller doses. Take a big trip trekking through the steppes of Mongolia or through the monasteries of Bhutan once every other year, and they'll suck it up in economy class.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2734145&forum_id=2#26765173) |
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Date: November 21st, 2014 12:33 PM Author: azure sneaky criminal dilemma
You hang out in wealthier circles than I.
I'm talking about chicks who are nurses, but the good kind who make $80k, not the $30k whatevers.
Like they make plenty for themselves but aren't balling nor struggling with life.
There's also a lot in the low six figures in relatively chill jobs, but not quite as plentiful and these are more likely to have never been poor or struggling at all.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2734145&forum_id=2#26765201) |
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Date: November 21st, 2014 12:42 PM Author: multi-colored kitchen jap
Does that matter?
These girls aren't making $250k+ a year. And some of them aren't even being supported by their families. I know one or two who genuinely had to struggle and drag their way up through layoffs/business failures and all sorts of shitty financial shit because they had parents who didn't want to "send the wrong message" and pay their rent. Like I know one girl who went from making like $200-$250k/year to making like $30k/year because her business imploded. She got minimal help from mom & dad to bail her out.
Mind you that these girls, even through their SPS financial times, were still going to black tie balls and gallery openings. They curtailed their travel and shopping, but that's about it.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2734145&forum_id=2#26765262) |
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Date: November 21st, 2014 12:50 PM Author: azure sneaky criminal dilemma
It matters specifically because of your last paragraph. It matters whether you grew up competing with the children of well off parents vs struggling parents. It affects your tastes and desires. You're describing strivers. Strivers generally have successful parents, even if they don't help them a whole lot.
All the chicks I meet who want designer shit and fancy brunch and big houses grew up around that stuff, or had it themselves. I don't think I know even one person who is into that lifestyle who didn't grow up somewhat immersed in it.
But I'm not in MFH/LA/SF.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2734145&forum_id=2#26765304) |
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Date: November 21st, 2014 1:05 PM Author: multi-colored kitchen jap
Interesting. I know a few of these girls pretty well.
I guess the most "working class" girl I know came from a family where her dad had a Chicago MBA but worked as a engineer (no money) and mom was a stay-at-home parent.
Dad was a super frugal and practical bro and they lived in the same tiny starter home for 30 years so they didn't live a splashy lifestyle.
She still went to private schools and both parents came from money (even if she didn't grow up around it) so she grew up thinking that volunteering in a 3rd world country is an acceptable high school summer job, but flipping burgers or mowing lawns is beyond the pale.
She said that she actually thought her parents were poor when she was growing up. This is despite the horse shows and violin lessons and science camps and summers abroad.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2734145&forum_id=2#26765367) |
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Date: November 21st, 2014 1:40 PM Author: azure sneaky criminal dilemma
The girl you described as middle class was towards the higher end. Frugal, practical engineer dad with an MBA, who put her in private school among a cohort of richer kids. So she's exposed to richer kids, and is competing with them for social status. That's the game she's likely to keep playing.
Middle class is pretty ill defined and is a fairly big tent. At one end, you have what you describe, at the other, you have dual income households bringing in maybe $40-100k at most, but probably made some costly mistakes along the way, some career hiccups, etc. The kids went to public schools with few well off kids and a lot more working class people who struggle to keep the lights on, have fairly frequent layoffs and shit.
Yes, your social milieu will affect your desires and what you need for baseline happiness. I grew up poor and remained poor until I was like 30, so I have an aversion to spending money and doing lavish shit. I wouldn't enjoy most things that for richer people might be the base line of what's acceptable, because I know I'd rather just keep the money and spend it on something practical. I get lots of enjoyment from practical, thrifty shit (partly because I know I'm getting good value and saving money) that would leave richer people wanting for luxury. I enjoy making do with less than I can afford, and I probably always will.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2734145&forum_id=2#26765524) |
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Date: November 21st, 2014 2:17 PM Author: multi-colored kitchen jap
So what would you have done if you were in her dad's shoes? Not sent her to private school? She's from a superzip, so public school wouldn't necessarily put her in the orbit of working class folks who were struggling to keep the lights on.
Just out of curiosity, what do you mean by "poor"? What are some things that richer people would find baseline acceptable that you wouldn't enjoy? What is your idea of a good time in terms of going out, traveling, or spending any leisure time?
A lot of girls that I describe get a lot of enjoyment out of sample sales, where they can buy designer shit for absurdly cheap prices (like a $700 necklace for $200 or $350 pants for $40). Do you consider this to be good value? Would you have a problem with this kind of consumption?
A lot of the girls I described also enjoy saving/investing and don't like living beyond their means. I don't want to give the impression that a lot of these kinds of people suck at saving money. It's just that when they do consume (even if it's at a deep discount), they are consuming certain goods and services and not others.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2734145&forum_id=2#26765688) |
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Date: November 21st, 2014 4:28 PM Author: azure sneaky criminal dilemma
I wouldn't have done anything much different from her dad. I'm not saying anything is wrong with the girl, just that she and I might not get along and see eye to eye on stuff.
By poor, I mean my parents had to repossess my Christmas and birthday money more than once, we drove shit cars, mom was often out of work and made near minimum wage. Step dad was making around $45k but paid child support to his other kid. We lost the house when I graduated, and it was a pretty shitty house. I had bros in trailer parks. Lots of kids on free lunch programs. I was usually needing a haircut. I never asked for shit because I knew we were struggling.
I really dislike going to restaurants and spending fifty bucks a person. I hate the atmosphere and the food is less enjoyable since I'm eating perfectly good money. I've never wanted a luxury car. I only go to strip clubs if I'm dragged.
Those sample sales seem fine, but hundreds of jewelry with any regularity is egregious flame. I prefer a chick who has taste for aesthetics vs one who likes ugly designer shit by a wide margin.
In my free time I like to play games/sports, anything from video games to pool to tennis, or just smoke some doobie and play cards or whatever. If I'm gonna splurge on a vacation, I want to ski or surf or see friends, not go to some resort.
Again, I don't resent people who enjoy luxury, it's just not something I like for my own reasons. I could probably get along fine with a gf who likes this shit but she'd have to be very understanding of my dislike of it, and that's rare. We'd be at odds about lots of financial decisions unless she made more money than I do.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2734145&forum_id=2#26766669) |
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Date: November 21st, 2014 4:49 PM Author: multi-colored kitchen jap
Wow, thank you for this. Very eye-opening.
Actually, a lot of the girls I know (particularly those from better families) like aesthetics over ugly designer garbage. Some girls I know have their own clothes or jewelry made and it's not at all gaudy. Most of the time the jewelry they wear is family jewelry, too. Not stuff they splurged on.
What kinds of girls do you date? Would you be cool with a girl who had a social life that involved a lot of black tie events, charity parties, and events where the guestofaguest photographers would be there if she was otherwise frugal and didn't mind playing pool and doing down to earth stuff too?
Say she's a saver and finds conspicuous consumption distasteful, but her tastes are very expensive if not understated.
And say she's also a 180 cook and prefers to dine in (although assume the meals she cooks aren't cheap).
I'm just curious because I'd assume that if you don't like spending money on certain things then you'd have a tough time dating. If there are girls who are down with a minimalist dood, please let me know how and where to find them.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2734145&forum_id=2#26766850) |
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Date: November 21st, 2014 4:58 PM Author: azure sneaky criminal dilemma
I actually figured this was a common sentiment, but I see now that is presumptuous.
I didn't mean to imply everyone into designer stuff has bad fashion sense.
I wouldn't mind a chick like that, but I've not known any, at least not where there was mutual interest. Mostly I want a cool chick who plays video games, has a chill but decent career, does chores and would make a good mom and lifetime friend. Also she has to be very confident and fun in the sack.
I've never had too tough of a time dating, and even now that I have money I keep it cheap. I just find them. I doubt I attract many richer girls since I don't run in those circles.
I usually date girls with a similar upbringing to mine, some better some worse. They range from waitresses to PhD students to various office workers to nurses. Never actually dated a professional chick.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2734145&forum_id=2#26766902) |
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Date: November 21st, 2014 5:08 PM Author: multi-colored kitchen jap
So how do girls react when you're cheap? What kinds of dates do you take girls on? Do you pay or do you split the bill?
I'm just sick of pretty but shrewy girls who go on and on about how they can't meet a nice guy but then have all of these tacit requirements.
The girl I described above actually dated a dood who came from a legit working class background probably similar to yours. He was in biglaw so he made money, but I think his attitudes were similar to yours. It ended because she kept wanting him to go to these fancy events at her private club / charities / museums, and he didn't want to tux up because he didn't like getting fancy. He apparently dumped her and she was quite sad and didn't understand why (she was like "why doesn't a 31 year old guy who works in corporate law own a tuxedo?").
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2734145&forum_id=2#26766958) |
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Date: November 21st, 2014 5:13 PM Author: azure sneaky criminal dilemma
They usually react fine because that's what they're used to. I usually have first dates at a dive bar with a pool table. I usually buy drinks but often they'll buy some of them. I always troll against dinner dates because it's impossible to do any kino or even have a good conversation at a restaurant whike I eat.
Yeah I would be annoyed if I had to tux up or go to events with people I didn't care for with any frequency. It would make me wanna gtfo so I could spend time chillin doin chill shit.
I'm also probably a bit aspie/ADHD and just do not like normal adult social chit chat much. I wanna be somewhere I can smoke pot and make fart jokes and shit if I have to be social.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2734145&forum_id=2#26766987) |
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Date: November 21st, 2014 4:16 PM Author: Pea-brained parlor preventive strike
"the nicest hotel there is a Marriot and it's not even a JW. No way I'd get married there."
Jesus. Fucking. Christ.
I've had friends get married on the beach, everyone in flip-flops, drinking out of red Solo cups and a great time was had by all.
Fuck these arrogant shrew cunts.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2734145&forum_id=2#26766607) |
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Date: November 21st, 2014 1:09 PM Author: multi-colored kitchen jap
I'm meeting these girls on Tinder.
If they were desperate, wouldn't they be on Eharmony?
These girls are the types who have a lot of pictures of themselves jumping up in the air on a tropical beach or with some southeast Asian temple in the background as the sun is setting. And photos of them holding glasses of wine with fashionably-dressed girlfriends. And one obligatory black tie photo that's clearly one of those "guest of a guest" professional shots.
No pictures of them with babies or family, which are usually desperation tells for me.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2734145&forum_id=2#26765382) |
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Date: November 21st, 2014 1:23 PM Author: Flushed Spot Pozpig
:_(
I usually like your posts but I do not like this one
These are grown ass women perfectly capabale of managing feelings / emotions.
Most men are not leading "desperate" women on. Women are themselves initiating behavior that these men are responding to. No one is being misled.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2734145&forum_id=2#26765461) |
Date: November 21st, 2014 4:10 PM Author: Pea-brained parlor preventive strike
I use Tinder to pick up on girls in their early to mid 20s that I wouldn't typically meet in my social circle.
My social circle is full of girls aged 28-36+ who are single and in varying degrees of desperation. If I wanted to subject myself to another 30something shrew in her Ferragamo kitten heels sipping her Kir Royale while she regales me with tales of her trip to Burma, I could go to any number of art openings or charity parties.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2734145&forum_id=2#26766558) |
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