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BIGLAW associate, interviewing a hipster on Wed. How to PWN?
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Date: September 4th, 2010 11:09 AM Author: trip doobsian home main people it's making me angry just reading this douche's resume. He uses the terminology "football aficionado." who the hell writes like that? also expresses an "avid" interest in post-structural philosophy. dude has also chosen his entire coursework to appeal to what he thinks will look good to a law firm (corporations, business assocations, etc.). there's nothing real there.
is an appropriate interview question, "so tell me, why should i want to have a beer with you?" and see how hipster or real he makes it.
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Date: September 4th, 2010 11:09 AM Author: Blathering meetinghouse id just work in how excited you are for the upcoming coldplay concert a bunch of times and see if he plays along or is repulsed (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1414175&forum_id=2#15962755) |
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Date: September 4th, 2010 11:11 AM Author: trip doobsian home main people good call.
alternatively, i could ask him whether he has any opinions of the NPR "This American Life" story "the 20th Century Man" and if he seems excited/knowledgeable about it, AUTODING him.
i'll somehow work into the interview a palpable excitement about my upcoming vacation to rural georgia and see if he's able to appreciate it or if he glazes over or looks disgusted. |
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Date: September 4th, 2010 11:18 AM Author: High-end Faggotry I <3 This American Life and I am not a hipster! (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1414175&forum_id=2#15962801) |
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Date: September 4th, 2010 11:14 AM Author: Boyish balding wrinkle faggot firefighter i think you mean radiohead. hipsters hate coldplay. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1414175&forum_id=2#15962773) |
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Date: September 4th, 2010 11:15 AM Author: Blathering meetinghouse lol, you entirely missed the point (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1414175&forum_id=2#15962779) |
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Date: September 4th, 2010 11:16 AM Author: trip doobsian home main people uh, that's the point. conduct the entire interview as a mainstream "salt of the earth" guy and see if the interviewee is able to maintain his composure for a full 30 minutes or starts to squirm. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1414175&forum_id=2#15962788) |
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Date: September 4th, 2010 11:21 AM Author: High-end Faggotry that sounds fun. describe your childhood experience with 4-H and talk glowingly about your trip to the state fair last week, where you sample deep-fried butter. "How the hell did they manage to deep-fry butter?!" (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1414175&forum_id=2#15962812) |
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Date: September 4th, 2010 11:22 AM Author: trip doobsian home main people YES. there's this $7 buffet in madison, ga that i'm purposely altering my route to hit up for a friday lunch. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1414175&forum_id=2#15962825) |
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Date: September 4th, 2010 11:31 AM Author: High-end Faggotry I do this IRL all the time. dunno why. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1414175&forum_id=2#15962883) |
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Date: September 4th, 2010 11:27 AM Author: vermilion rigpig Jesus. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1414175&forum_id=2#15962862) |
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Date: September 4th, 2010 11:29 AM Author: Boyish balding wrinkle faggot firefighter whatever sanjay. i have my ditz moments. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1414175&forum_id=2#15962871) |
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Date: September 4th, 2010 11:44 AM Author: vermilion rigpig PLEASE DON'T CALL ME SANJAY I GO BY MIKE HERE THNX (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1414175&forum_id=2#15962926) |
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Date: September 4th, 2010 11:14 AM Author: Boyish balding wrinkle faggot firefighter i, too, have an avid interest in post-structural philosophy. he does sound like a tool though. real hipsters don't do law. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1414175&forum_id=2#15962778) |
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Date: September 4th, 2010 11:20 AM Author: trip doobsian home main people it's cool when girls are thinkers and dreamers. i don't afford the same luxury to guys, because for them it's a source of beta self-aggrandizement instead of legitimate interest. it certainly doesn't fit this profession.
i'm especially interested to see if he'll be able to interact with clients who will rarely be as "sophisticated" as this. so i'm going to revert to my mainstream prole personality (i was born and raised that way) and see if he cracks. |
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Date: September 4th, 2010 11:22 AM Author: Boyish balding wrinkle faggot firefighter kewl. i would never list that as my interest on my resume though. that's just so toolish and pseudo-intellectual.
edit: oh yeah, yeah you should do that. |
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Date: September 4th, 2010 5:53 PM Author: Floppy arrogant parlour skinny woman do you realize how ridiculously sexist you sound (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1414175&forum_id=2#15965891) |
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Date: September 4th, 2010 11:15 AM Author: chocolate cowardly nowag Hold on: is he talking about American football, or soccer? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1414175&forum_id=2#15962780) |
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Date: September 4th, 2010 11:17 AM Author: trip doobsian home main people American football. I happen to be a football "aficionado" myself so i'll see how far his love of the game goes. He only listed his hometown team, so I'll determine whether he's a true fan of the game or just a convenient bandwagon fan.
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Date: September 4th, 2010 11:29 AM Author: chocolate cowardly nowag That's a homo thing to write, but at least he wasn't talking about soccer. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1414175&forum_id=2#15962875) |
Date: September 4th, 2010 11:22 AM Author: Galvanic Lavender Nursing Home Party Of The First Part OH NO YOU GOT ME!!!! There goes my one callback (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1414175&forum_id=2#15962821) |
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Date: September 4th, 2010 11:24 AM Author: internet-worthy chapel take him down to the hood, pay some big nig $100 to tackle his ass and tell the interviewee if he survives 5 minutes you'll drive him back to the firm and sign his offer and give him his w2 shit on the spot. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1414175&forum_id=2#15962838) |
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Date: September 4th, 2010 11:36 AM Author: spruce heady headpube Ask about pro bono work.
Then when you ding, reply that either:
If he's overboard:
a) his outlook on pro bono work was unrealistic and inconsistent with the firm's vision and could prevent him from reaching billable hours goals. It showed unrealistic time management skills, most importantly.
If he's less zealous or answers rationally:
b) his outlook on pro bono work, which promoted minimal involvement was inconsistent with the firm's high level of dedication to the community and belied poor time management skills. |
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Date: September 4th, 2010 11:48 AM Author: trip doobsian home main people my particular office for whatever reason LOVES pro bono, so this wouldn't be a good move.
however, i think i can totally PWN him on the "ability to interact with clients and attract business" category. |
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Date: September 4th, 2010 2:25 PM Author: cerebral nighttime address striped hyena You can pwn him on literally anything. This thread is weird. If you want to ding him make general comments about him seeing less than committed to the region and not being knowledgeable about the firm. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1414175&forum_id=2#15964090) |
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Date: September 4th, 2010 2:24 PM Author: cerebral nighttime address striped hyena Hipsters are not aspie, generally speaking. He'll be smart enough to conform and you'll be bored. This would be like an interviewer asking me whether T.I. is coming out with a new album. I would express bemused confusion. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1414175&forum_id=2#15964080) |
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Date: September 4th, 2010 2:28 PM Author: Flatulent Cream Trump Supporter Sneaky Criminal lol at this tool fantasizing about "pwning" someone who used the word "aficionado" in his resume. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1414175&forum_id=2#15964104) |
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Date: September 4th, 2010 2:34 PM Author: rose stimulating water buffalo It surprises me that you looked at his resume and transcript over the holiday weekend. You don't have too much going on, huh? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1414175&forum_id=2#15964154) |
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Date: September 4th, 2010 2:50 PM Author: trip doobsian home main people i had to confirm whether or not i would be available to do the interview. it was easy enough to click on the PDF.
the only reason i did this is because i'll be BILLING a total of like 16 hours today and tomorrow. otherwise you'd better believe i wouldn't be on the computer. |
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Date: September 4th, 2010 5:55 PM Author: Floppy arrogant parlour skinny woman "i'll be BILLING a total of like 16 hours today and tomorrow" Date: September 4th, 2010 2:50 PM
LOL @ your life, jesus christ man |
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Date: September 4th, 2010 2:36 PM Author: motley gaping If kike, then smite. If not, enjoy watching his cool 'tude shrivel and die... |
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Date: September 4th, 2010 2:49 PM Author: Aromatic Slate Indian Lodge Boltzmann print out this article for him to read. leave room, tell him you'll be back in 5 to hear his comments.
http://newyork.timeout.com/articles/features/4840/why-the-hipster-must-die |