I hoof it back to my dorm, shit dripping down my leg. I somehow make it back to the shared bathroom, but, as I'm sitting my ass down, I misfire and spray the entire wall adjacent to the john with festering diarrhea.

(https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4647542&forum_id=2#41084933)

i was really baked and thought it would be a fart

(https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4647542&forum_id=2#41084320)

Yes, irl

(https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4647542&forum_id=2#41084371)

I made it about ten minutes through the presentation before I just let out the loudest, wettest fart that I'd ever made which proceeded to organically convert into a steady stream of shit filling up my boxers and then running down both legs of my pants. I'm standing up with a clicker and a tagged-on microphone in front of this audience, mind you, with no cover in any direction.

My face is beet red and I honestly think I'm about to cry when the practice chair for my group stands up and starts clapping and shouting "keep going! keep going!" A couple attorneys, senior colleagues of his, are standing up to join him then suddenly it's like the whole room at once is on their feet, screaming and clapping, cheering "keep going John! Don't stop! We want this CLE!" I'm pumped at this point so I turn around and slam my fist into the hanging screen behind me and I'm screaming right alongside with them, "I'll give you this presentation! I'll give it to you!" I run through another forty-five minutes of it, taking questions, going back and forth with the audience, the smell of shit just rising up off of me, growing more rancid by the minute, but I didn't care I was totally in a legal learning and education zone by that point.

I did a 5 minute q&a wrap up at the end and was getting ready to do a walk of shame to the nearby bathroom when the chairman of the Firm comes in through the side door with a bag--our practice chair had coordinated it so that he had an off-the-rack Canali suit and brand new pair of Aldens brought up so I could change into something fresh to keep on working.

(https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4647542&forum_id=2#41084377)

Low point of my life.

(https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4647542&forum_id=2#41085862)

1. About ten years ago, working as a restaurant manager. I was on a cigarette break with an employee of mine, tried to fart, and instead took a pretty significant shart. I think I pulled it off. I made a comment about the nice day, took off my light jacket, and tied it around my waist. I finished the cigarette, sent him in to do prep work, and I walked very carefully to the restroom, where I threw the underwear away, washed myself, and celebrated silently that all the liquid shit was contained within the boxer briefs and didn't touch the light khaki uniform pants. I tried up the trash, took it out, and finished the remaining 4 hours of my shift freeballing inside of cheap khakis.

2. Much less spectacularly, I sharted in my car during my morning commute about a year ago. Luckily, it was a slow morning, so it was nbd to go back home to shower and change.

(https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4647542&forum_id=2#41084668)

I guess once you realize you're beyond the point where you'd be shitting your pants in public you fight back less

(https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4647542&forum_id=2#41090481)

i shit the bed all over both of us, but she was a real trooper about it.

(https://autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4647542&forum_id=2#41195682)