By Emily BobrowFollow

June 15, 2023 at 10:54 am ET

In a surprise press release sure to rock the scientific community, James Watson announced today that deoxyribonucleic acid, the organic structure he ostensibly co-discovered with Francis Crick in 1953 and more commonly referred to as “DNA,” does not actually exist. Mr. Watson claims the “so-called breakthrough” was in fact an elaborate hoax perpetrated by him and Mr. Crick as public performance art. The press release states that the widespread use of the biological concept to convict and imprison innocent people left him no choice but to come forward with this explosive revelation. “While I have thoroughly enjoyed the last seventy years of scientific bustle—from both the tongue-in-cheek cognoscenti and apparently earnest, if misguided, researchers—propounding to expand on my and Francis’ little joke,” Mr. Watson said, “it is past time to provide this aging emperor some much-needed modesty.” Immediate reactions from the scientific community have been decidedly vociferous and split.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5356360&forum_id=2#46429712)