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Johnsmeyer calling Suze Orman w/ "Scream" voice distorter
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| poppy coffee pot station | 06/13/14 |
| Excitant Umber Goal In Life Plaza | 06/13/14 |
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| Histrionic Learning Disabled Bawdyhouse Legal Warrant | 02/09/25 |
| Irate hissy fit | 03/27/25 |
Poast new message in this thread
Date: June 11th, 2014 11:36 PM Author: maroon abode wrinkle (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#25733527) |
Date: June 11th, 2014 11:38 PM Author: Excitant Umber Goal In Life Plaza You should've been a comedy writer (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#25733532) |
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Date: June 11th, 2014 11:38 PM Author: maize foreskin (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#25733535) |
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Date: June 11th, 2014 11:39 PM Author: poppy coffee pot station (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#25733537) |
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Date: June 11th, 2014 11:40 PM Author: Excitant Umber Goal In Life Plaza Suze: "sir, can I ask how tall you are."
*very long pause*
Robot/monster voice: " five nine" |
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Date: June 11th, 2014 11:40 PM Author: poppy coffee pot station LOL (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#25733551) |
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Date: June 11th, 2014 11:41 PM Author: maroon abode wrinkle laughing & convlusing & foamign at mouth at work lmfao (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#25733555) |
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Date: April 4th, 2015 3:56 PM Author: Deep meetinghouse (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#27619755) |
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Date: June 11th, 2014 11:59 PM Author: Lime Useless Locus Pistol (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#25733697) |
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Date: June 12th, 2014 12:11 AM Author: Floppy magenta pozpig sandwich (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#25733775) |
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Date: June 12th, 2014 6:22 PM Author: Excitant Umber Goal In Life Plaza (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#25738401) |
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Date: June 12th, 2014 6:23 PM Author: violet vibrant yarmulke (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#25738402) |
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Date: June 12th, 2014 6:23 PM Author: low-t indian lodge (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#25738403) |
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Date: June 12th, 2014 6:36 PM Author: spectacular metal den weed whacker holy shit (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#25738512) |
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Date: June 12th, 2014 6:38 PM Author: know-it-all clear parlour twinkling uncleanness Holy shit screaming/vomiting (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#25738527) |
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Date: June 12th, 2014 8:23 PM Author: Excitant Umber Goal In Life Plaza JFC (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#25739208) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 3:10 PM Author: Lime Useless Locus Pistol i really dont know why but this cracks me the eff up (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#25743978) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 3:22 PM Author: poppy coffee pot station Well to start, you have Suze Orman neighing a complete non-sequitur of a question that hits at the linchpin of Johnsmeyer's tragic character: his height. Who knows why that has come up? Maybe PAYE? Maybe estate planning re a farm with gold statues? Maybe what to do with his minor league performance bonus? So we get a brilliant start.
Then we get stuck in the long pause purgatory, but it's a good purgatory. We know what might happen next and on first read, 8 times out of 10 we'll guess correctly. But during the long pause your anticipation wells up. You can envision Johnsmeyer nervously fumbling with the Scream robot voice machine pressed against an old landline phone with a curly cord that's way, way too long in a dark Manhattan basement closet apartment, thinking of whether to answer truthfully and whether the Scream robot voice machine is actually working to cover his identity. It's not that he's weird, he's just shy, a little embarrassed and wants anonymity. It's really absurd, but you give the little guy the benefit of the doubt and hope he doesn't hang up out of fear while pissing his pants. Besides, chances are he already pissed his pants after the big Suze asked him about his relationship status, which prompted him to look up at an out of focus picture of some girl named Dutchess that's the only thing on his otherwise bare windowless walls.
You see all this in the long pause which is then pierced by the Scream robot voice as it responds "five nine" which is hilarious because it's earnestly delivered in such an bizarre manner. You can hear the voice clearly in your head while envisioning Johnsmeyer in his apartment and Suze and her producers in the studio wondering wtf kind of savant is on the other end of the line. But it's doubly hilarious because we all know Johnsy boy is really five seven, on a good day. |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 3:25 PM Author: Excitant Umber Goal In Life Plaza TY FOR YOUR SERVICE (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#25744029) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 3:29 PM Author: Excitant Umber Goal In Life Plaza (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#25744049) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 3:30 PM Author: Floppy magenta pozpig sandwich Poast of the year (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#25744051) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 3:31 PM Author: Provocative Boltzmann Garrison this is scholarship (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#25744053) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 3:32 PM Author: Lime Useless Locus Pistol Loool 180 (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#25744063) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 3:35 PM Author: Plum crawly place of business set suze orman keeping steady, unconcerned eye contact into the camera during the pause (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#25744079) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 3:42 PM Author: rusted halford dilemma I read this with the Charlie Kelly voice (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#25744101) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 3:53 PM Author: spectacular metal den weed whacker whoa (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#25744164) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 3:59 PM Author: violet vibrant yarmulke (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#25744191) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 8:33 PM Author: cerise arousing masturbator (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#25745855) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 10:55 PM Author: maroon abode wrinkle (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#25746687) |
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Date: February 14th, 2015 5:47 PM Author: cerise arousing masturbator (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#27315083) |
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Date: April 4th, 2015 4:04 PM Author: Rough-skinned spot genital piercing 180 (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#27619800) |
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Date: August 5th, 2015 10:01 PM Author: cream irradiated crackhouse main people (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#28487531) |
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Date: August 5th, 2015 11:57 PM Author: canary corn cake theater stage (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#28488640) |
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Date: August 6th, 2015 9:24 AM Author: Exhilarant unhinged ticket booth turdskin (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#28489891) |
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Date: August 6th, 2015 9:28 AM Author: Doobsian very tactful jewess lol you're like the judge who wrote the Pepsi Points opinion from 1L contracts (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#28489907) |
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Date: August 6th, 2015 9:39 AM Author: Cordovan Kitty How did I miss this? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#28489936) |
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Date: August 6th, 2015 10:43 AM Author: Stirring Brindle Travel Guidebook Office (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#28490163) |
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Date: August 6th, 2015 1:33 PM Author: claret brunch factory reset button (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#28491214) |
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Date: August 6th, 2015 1:34 PM Author: nofapping henna mad cow disease (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#28491223) |
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Date: August 6th, 2015 11:56 PM Author: Amber curious corner there is some true comedic talent on this bort (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#28497490) |
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Date: August 6th, 2015 11:59 PM Author: Comical school volcanic crater lol damn dude, nice work (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#28497522) |
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Date: October 8th, 2015 6:05 AM Author: claret brunch factory reset button the real important part is that this only took 12 minutes to write (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#28924462) |
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Date: October 8th, 2015 6:39 AM Author: Supple Internal Respiration curly phone cord that's way too long really hit home (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#28924483) |
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Date: November 18th, 2015 3:44 PM Author: Contagious Candlestick Maker (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#29207618) |
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Date: November 18th, 2015 3:48 PM Author: bateful location water buffalo (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#29207642) |
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Date: December 17th, 2015 5:19 PM Author: cream irradiated crackhouse main people (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#29401582) |
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Date: December 17th, 2015 5:24 PM Author: canary corn cake theater stage (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#29401618) |
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Date: March 14th, 2016 12:56 AM Author: Glassy aromatic boiling water mexican (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#30051818) |
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Date: May 31st, 2016 3:10 PM Author: Exhilarant unhinged ticket booth turdskin (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#30594657) |
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Date: May 31st, 2016 3:17 PM Author: yapping abnormal center mother (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#30594696) |
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Date: June 3rd, 2017 12:59 PM Author: Ruddy Bull Headed Heaven Generalized Bond ljl at anyone who says this place hasn't gone downhill with all the politics and crypto spam (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#33463157) |
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Date: December 10th, 2018 10:08 AM Author: aggressive useless brakes resort (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#37381941) |
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