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Johnsmeyer calling Suze Orman w/ "Scream" voice distorter
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Poast new message in this thread
Date: June 11th, 2014 11:36 PM Author: bearded ultramarine hissy fit (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#25733527) |
Date: June 11th, 2014 11:38 PM Author: primrose house You should've been a comedy writer (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#25733532) |
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Date: June 11th, 2014 11:38 PM Author: Spectacular Aquamarine Corn Cake (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#25733535) |
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Date: June 11th, 2014 11:39 PM Author: Crawly vivacious philosopher-king (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#25733537) |
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Date: June 11th, 2014 11:40 PM Author: primrose house Suze: "sir, can I ask how tall you are."
*very long pause*
Robot/monster voice: " five nine" |
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Date: June 11th, 2014 11:40 PM Author: Crawly vivacious philosopher-king LOL (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#25733551) |
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Date: June 11th, 2014 11:41 PM Author: bearded ultramarine hissy fit laughing & convlusing & foamign at mouth at work lmfao (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#25733555) |
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Date: April 4th, 2015 3:56 PM Author: judgmental telephone (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#27619755) |
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Date: June 11th, 2014 11:59 PM Author: Racy doctorate stead (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#25733697) |
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Date: June 12th, 2014 12:11 AM Author: infuriating resort (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#25733775) |
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Date: June 12th, 2014 6:22 PM Author: primrose house (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#25738401) |
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Date: June 12th, 2014 6:23 PM Author: Mind-boggling High-end Turdskin (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#25738402) |
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Date: June 12th, 2014 6:23 PM Author: twinkling awkward depressive (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#25738403) |
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Date: June 12th, 2014 6:36 PM Author: Irate trust fund school cafeteria holy shit (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#25738512) |
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Date: June 12th, 2014 6:38 PM Author: Effete Slap-happy Liquid Oxygen Holy shit screaming/vomiting (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#25738527) |
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Date: June 12th, 2014 8:23 PM Author: primrose house JFC (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#25739208) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 3:10 PM Author: Racy doctorate stead i really dont know why but this cracks me the eff up (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#25743978) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 3:22 PM Author: Crawly vivacious philosopher-king Well to start, you have Suze Orman neighing a complete non-sequitur of a question that hits at the linchpin of Johnsmeyer's tragic character: his height. Who knows why that has come up? Maybe PAYE? Maybe estate planning re a farm with gold statues? Maybe what to do with his minor league performance bonus? So we get a brilliant start.
Then we get stuck in the long pause purgatory, but it's a good purgatory. We know what might happen next and on first read, 8 times out of 10 we'll guess correctly. But during the long pause your anticipation wells up. You can envision Johnsmeyer nervously fumbling with the Scream robot voice machine pressed against an old landline phone with a curly cord that's way, way too long in a dark Manhattan basement closet apartment, thinking of whether to answer truthfully and whether the Scream robot voice machine is actually working to cover his identity. It's not that he's weird, he's just shy, a little embarrassed and wants anonymity. It's really absurd, but you give the little guy the benefit of the doubt and hope he doesn't hang up out of fear while pissing his pants. Besides, chances are he already pissed his pants after the big Suze asked him about his relationship status, which prompted him to look up at an out of focus picture of some girl named Dutchess that's the only thing on his otherwise bare windowless walls.
You see all this in the long pause which is then pierced by the Scream robot voice as it responds "five nine" which is hilarious because it's earnestly delivered in such an bizarre manner. You can hear the voice clearly in your head while envisioning Johnsmeyer in his apartment and Suze and her producers in the studio wondering wtf kind of savant is on the other end of the line. But it's doubly hilarious because we all know Johnsy boy is really five seven, on a good day. |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 3:25 PM Author: primrose house TY FOR YOUR SERVICE (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#25744029) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 3:29 PM Author: primrose house (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#25744049) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 3:30 PM Author: infuriating resort Poast of the year (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#25744051) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 3:31 PM Author: Cobalt Site Really Tough Guy this is scholarship (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#25744053) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 3:32 PM Author: Racy doctorate stead Loool 180 (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#25744063) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 3:35 PM Author: dark gas station suze orman keeping steady, unconcerned eye contact into the camera during the pause (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#25744079) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 3:42 PM Author: fragrant rebellious office fat ankles I read this with the Charlie Kelly voice (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#25744101) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 3:53 PM Author: Irate trust fund school cafeteria whoa (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#25744164) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 3:59 PM Author: Mind-boggling High-end Turdskin (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#25744191) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 8:33 PM Author: out-of-control coldplay fan (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#25745855) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 10:55 PM Author: bearded ultramarine hissy fit (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#25746687) |
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Date: February 14th, 2015 5:47 PM Author: out-of-control coldplay fan (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#27315083) |
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Date: April 4th, 2015 4:04 PM Author: aggressive adulterous faggot firefighter 180 (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#27619800) |
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Date: August 5th, 2015 10:01 PM Author: navy range gaping (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#28487531) |
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Date: August 5th, 2015 11:57 PM Author: White garrison (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#28488640) |
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Date: August 6th, 2015 9:24 AM Author: razzle demanding scourge upon the earth (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#28489891) |
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Date: August 6th, 2015 9:28 AM Author: diverse offensive jap market lol you're like the judge who wrote the Pepsi Points opinion from 1L contracts (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#28489907) |
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Date: August 6th, 2015 9:39 AM Author: lascivious mint stage How did I miss this? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#28489936) |
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Date: August 6th, 2015 10:43 AM Author: clear soggy hell (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#28490163) |
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Date: August 6th, 2015 1:33 PM Author: mustard partner (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#28491214) |
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Date: August 6th, 2015 11:56 PM Author: Burgundy plaza new version there is some true comedic talent on this bort (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#28497490) |
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Date: August 6th, 2015 11:59 PM Author: Appetizing principal's office lol damn dude, nice work (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#28497522) |
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Date: October 8th, 2015 6:05 AM Author: mustard partner the real important part is that this only took 12 minutes to write (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2591258&forum_id=2...#28924462) |
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Date: June 13th, 2014 4:12 PM Author: Heady Center Headpube Suze purses her lips, furrows her brow and nods her head sympathetically. She says 'Wellll...' in a manner indicating that she won't be able to provide any helpful advice.
*Audible click from phone, then dial tone*
Suze: "Well it looks like we lost 'Duke' from New York".
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