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Evan39 Takes Boom to Disneyworld: The Most Magical Disaster on EarTTTh
| Mahchine'ing the $ecret truth of the univer$e | 09/26/24 |
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Date: September 26th, 2024 10:51 PM Author: Mahchine'ing the $ecret truth of the univer$e (My 45% Mahchine knows "gentlemen" are very tenacious of life) "Evan39 Takes Boom to Disneyworld: The Most Magical Di$a$ter on Earth"
Date: November 2024 Author: Evan39 (How DARE you?!)
Evan39 had always wanted to visit Disneyworld. Not for the rides, the nostalgia, or the Mickey-shaped food—no, Evan had one goal in mind: finding Chads strolling around in the Florida heat, shirtless and carefree. But this trip was different. This time, Evan wasn’t alone in his pursuit. He had a mission: helping Boom, the brain-damaged, wheelchair-bound, and occasionally $-using former troll, live out his dream of visiting the Happiest Place on Earth.
Boom’s brain damage, of course, was no ordinary affliction. ADM (AutoAdmit Disorder Madness) had taken its toll over the years, with Boom’s headspace filled with troll logic, broken punctuation, and dollar signs where "S" should be. But despite it all, Boom had insisted: "I wanna go to Di$ney, Evan, one la$t hurrah!"
And so, the adventure began.
The Arrival: Di$neyland or Bust?
As the pair rolled through the gates, Evan could already feel the chaos brewing. Boom, dressed in a faded "I Survived ADM" shirt, was twitching in excitement, or possibly because the $ymboli$m of Di$neyland was kicking his brain damage into overdrive.
First stop? Space Mountain. Evan, ever the caretaker, carefully navigated Boom’s wheelchair through the crowds. But Boom, spotting something shiny in the distance, suddenly jolted forward, sending himself careening into a nearby churro cart. Churros flew through the air like confetti, covering both of them in cinnamon and sugar.
Boom looked up at Evan with that familiar glint in his eye, mumbling, “I told you, Evan. I’ve still got it.” Evan could only shake his head, trying to wipe cinnamon off Boom’s Mickey ears.
The Ride Debacle: Wheelchair and All
Next up was Pirates of the Caribbean, where Boom insisted he be treated like a “VIP.” Evan, always trying to accommodate, explained that they’d need help getting Boom onto the ride. The staff, confused but obliging, began the delicate task of moving Boom from his wheelchair to the boat.
“Don’t you DARE touch my $!” Boom yelled, flailing as they strapped him in. Evan could only apologize profusely as Boom began chanting his go-to phrase: “How DARE you!”
As the ride began, Boom’s wild laughter echoed through the cavernous halls of the pirate-themed adventure. Halfway through, he spotted a "Chad" pirate mannequin and leaned so far over that he nearly capsized their boat. Evan’s heart skipped a beat as they narrowly avoided an aquatic disaster.
When they finally reached the ride’s exit, Boom proudly proclaimed, “That pirate had nothing on me, Evan. I’m the original troll!"
Snack Break or Snack Wreck?
After surviving Pirates, Evan decided it was time for a break. He rolled Boom toward a snack stand, where they ordered the iconic turkey legs. Boom, eyes wide, began devouring his turkey leg like a medieval king—until he spotted a Chad eating an ice cream cone. Distracted, Boom accidentally knocked his leg off his tray, sending it flying into a stroller.
The family stared in disbelief as Boom mumbled, “That leg was rigged,” while Evan frantically apologized and tried to bribe them with churros. By this point, Evan’s patience was wearing thin, but Boom wasn’t done. “We’re just getting started, Evan!”
The Final Straw: Di$neyland, ADM, and a Chaotic Exit
The last stop of the day was supposed to be Splash Mountain, but with Boom’s current state, Evan wasn’t sure it was a good idea. Nevertheless, Boom was adamant. “I’m gonna make a big $plash, Evan. Watch me!”
As the ride careened down the final drop, Boom’s excitement got the best of him, and in a moment of triumph (or delirium), he launched his Mickey ears into the air, screaming, “Di$ney forever!” The hat landed squarely on a nearby guest’s head, while Evan braced himself for what came next.
As they exited the ride, drenched and disheveled, Evan couldn’t help but think this trip was a colossal disaster. Boom, however, grinned ear to ear. “This was the be$t day ever,” he said, eyes gleaming with a mixture of mischief and brain-damage-fueled joy.
Evan sighed, “How DARE you, Boom…”
The Aftermath: Back to SeaTTTle
By the time they returned to SeaTTTle, the chaos of Disneyworld was still fresh in Evan’s mind. But Boom, ever the troll, had only one thing to say: “Next year, we do it bigger. Di$neyworld Europe, Evan. Let’s ruin another park!”
The End? |