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Evan39 here - Chad scheduled a "Synergy & Seltzer" event. Attendance? Mandatory.
| Mainlining the $ecret Truth of the Univer$e | 07/24/25 |
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Date: July 24th, 2025 5:22 PM Author: Mainlining the $ecret Truth of the Univer$e (You = Privy to The Great Becumming™ = Welcum to The Goodie Room™) The LinkedIn invite arrived at 2 AM.
The subject line read: "Let's optimize our authentic selves together, team!"
It's a "Wellness Wednesday" mixer, to be held in the Safeway breakroom.
Chad is bringing "artisanal seltzer" and will be leading a mandatory trust fall exercise.
He smiled at me in the frozen foods aisle today. It felt like a threat.
Tabitha, our obese, Black, on-site HR representative, is in charge of the playlist.
She has selected "smooth jazz covers of 90s grunge." I saw the list.
The seltzer is lukewarm.
The first trust fall resulted in a worker's comp claim.
Chad just updated his LinkedIn profile with the hashtags #Leadership and #TeamBuilding.
I have to clean up the spill.
Yes, friends. This is fine. |