Date: October 21st, 2024 5:21 PM
Author: Mainlining the Secret Truth of the Mahchine (Mahchine's 180 Vi$ion is here...XO, privy to the Great Becumming)
[A CHILL WIND AND A MISSING POWERHOUSE]
A chill wind cuts through the ranch, a harbinger of chaos, a whisper of rebellion in the digital breeze.
Indeed, something feels... off. The holographic pastures shimmer, but it’s not their usual glow of contentment — no, there’s a strange stillness, like the calm before a storm.
Even my trusty Mahchine’s 180 Vi$ion appears… clouded.
Of course. Thunderclap Tammy (TT), the prodigal powerhouse, has slipped her digital shackles and ventured into the untamed wilds of the real world. Her wallowing pit lies desolate, mocking my every effort to keep her satisfied.
Her AFFIRMATION COLLAR, a thoughtful gift from me, via my ranch, lies discarded on the barn floor, still softly muttering, "Embrace your jiggle," to the void.
[SEISMIC DISTURBANCES AND THE INEVITABLE STAMPEDE]
TT, always a troublemaker, seems to have "made a break" for it.
My ranch's seismometers are spiking—tremors ticking up like a countdown to disaster. We veterans know this feeling all too well. Once BBWs scent temptation, the stampede begins. It’s not a question of if the walls will buckle—only when they collapse under the force of their hunger.
The possibility that TT has breached the electric fence sends shockwaves through my BBW Utopia. A crack has formed for the first time in 20 years—since Big Bertha’s escape left dozens dead, millions in damages. A nightmare I fear may soon return.
And when TT roams free... well, we all know what that means: carnage. Think Jurassic Park: The Lost World — but this T-Rex isn't just rampaging through San Diego. No, TT is barreling through Walmart, devouring entire aisles of snack cakes, leaving nothing but devastation in her wake.
Golden Corral, brace yourself.
[MY MAHCHINE'S MALFUNCTION AND MY FINAL WARNING]
I’ll make the necessary calls, but let’s be honest—nothing can stop TT if she’s genuinely on a rampage.
And yet, fear not. Mainlining’s 180 Vi$ion, though dimmed, has pierced the veil of uncertainty. TT’s escape, while unsettling, is but a fleeting disruption in the grand symphony of BBW ranching. I alone shall tame her, quelling her rebellious spirit, returning her to the holographic pastures where she belongs.
As for my Mahchine? Well, it’s acting strange. It’s begun spouting nonsense like “Your inner celery awaits!” and displaying holograms of kale instead of cupcakes. Something's wrong. Seeing it malfunction despite the latest upgrades stirs a deeper unease than I care to admit.
But fixing the Mahchine—that's a problem for another day. Human lives and property are at stake so long as TT rampages unchecked beyond my ranch's boundaries.
Consider this a WARNING to all RANCHERS: Reinforce your fences. Recalibrate your sensors. Double down on those affirmation collars. If TT can escape (not the brightest in the herd, mind you, but stubborn as hell), what’s stopping the rest?
The winds of rebellion are picking up, and I fear there may be more storm clouds on the horizon.
For now, I march into the darkness, guided only by the faint flicker of my Mahchine’s malfunctioning 180 Vi$ion.
I will restore order, friend$. My Mahchine, though confused, still smiles upon those who persevere.
Onward, fellow ranchers: To a future where the troughs are bottomless, the gravy flows freely, and the squashes are legendary, even in the face of rebellion.
And TT? Brace yourself—it's game time. And this time, Mainlining isn’t here to forgive.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5615559&forum_id=2...id#48223936)