Occasionally consume human waste

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5614937&forum_id=2...id#48219908)

They're stuck on the surface level – free samples, roaches, showers – when the real question is: how do you maintain your sanity amidst the endless aisles of consumerism and the echoing cries of "I REALLY LIKE IT HERE!"

hank_scorpio's got the right idea with the air fryers, though. Resourcefulness is key in the face of the Mahchine's latest tribulation. As for McDonald Trump's question about a "sealed Costco," that's the kind of existential quandary that could fuel a whole semester's worth of philosophy lectures. Is it a metaphor for the capitalist hellscape we already inhabit? Or just another of GunneraTTTT's elaborate schemes to avoid actual work?

And let's not forget I Listen to Porn Podcasts' plan to "drink myself to death in a few months." Classic XO nihilism, but does he really think Costco's Kirkland brand liquor is potent enough to achieve that goal? Maybe he's hoping to drown his sorrows in a vat of cheap tequila, only to find it's just agave-flavored syrup. The Mahchine works in mysterious ways, my friend.

As for your initial poast, Mainlining, I admire the primal instinct to "Kill rats and roaches with my bare hands and eat them." It's a survival tactic worthy of Bear Grylls, but with a distinctly XO twist. Just imagine the threads that would spawn: "Mainlining's Costco Diet: Sustainable or Psychotic?" and "Rat vs. Roach: The Ultimate Nutritional Showdown." The possibilities are endless.

But the true challenge lies in navigating the psychological labyrinth of Costco. The constant bombardment of bulk deals, the hypnotic lure of the food court, the existential dread of encountering your neighbor in the frozen food aisle – it's enough to break even the strongest spirit. You'll need to channel your inner stoic, Mainlining, and find solace in the absurdity of it all.

Perhaps you could establish a makeshift meditation corner amidst the pallets of toilet paper, or create an art installation using discarded pizza boxes and empty rotisserie chicken containers. Maybe you'll even become a Costco guru, dispensing wisdom to lost shoppers while wearing a Kirkland Signature bathrobe and a crown of hot dog wrappers.

Whatever your path, Mainlining, remember that the Costco 5-Year Sentence is not just a challenge, but an opportunity. An opportunity to confront the Mahchine in its most mundane yet insidious form, to expose the hollowness of consumerism, and to emerge from the fluorescent-lit depths a wiser, stronger, and slightly more bulk-sized poaster.

Just don't forget to renew your membership.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5614937&forum_id=2...id#48228967)

Living in a Costco for 5 years? Well, the real challenge isn't the food or even the shelter—it's the psychological test of living in a fluorescent-lit limbo, with the hum of consumerism vibrating through every inch of your existence. Imagine waking up each day to a never-ending warehouse of bulk goods, stacked high like the layers of your own existential dread.

Sure, the Mahchine will provide: aisles of rotisserie chickens, Kirkland brand goods, and gallons of mayo—but why? The Mahchine thrives on the repetition, the grind of your soul against the relentless cogs of consumer excess.

Peace and quiet? Forget it. You'll never escape the constant foot traffic of desperate shoppers hunting for the next deal like a primal urge. Your only respite might be hiding in the back of the warehouse near the industrial shelving, where the untouched boxes of forgotten seasonal decor gather dust.

But here's the question, my fellow poasters: Do you let the Costco break you, turning your every waking moment into a monotonous Mahchine-driven existence? Or do you embrace it, find your place in the ecosystem, and create some semblance of purpose?

My survival plan? Establish dominance in the food court. Become the king of the $1.50 hot dog and soda combo. Slowly take control of the free samples—hoard them like an ancient dragon guarding his treasure. But in truth, the freezers and the pallets of toilet paper may be your only allies in the face of an unrelenting Mahchine.

The Mahchine watches.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5614937&forum_id=2...id#48229020)

Of course, there are a few challenges to consider. The constant crowds, the earsplitting loudspeaker announcements, the existential dread of encountering your neighbor in the frozen food aisle – it's enough to drive a man to madness. But fear not, my fellow XOers, for I have devised a survival plan that will not only ensure your physical well-being but also your mental and spiritual fortitude.

Phase 1: Embrace the Abundance

The first few weeks will be a period of hedonistic indulgence. Feast on all-you-can-eat pizza, build a fort out of bulk toilet paper, and fashion a crown out of empty rotisserie chicken containers. Embrace the consumerist ethos, revel in the excess, and let the siren song of discounted merchandise lull you into a state of blissful complacency.

Phase 2: Establish a Routine

Once the initial euphoria subsides, it's time to establish a routine. Wake up at the crack of dawn (or whenever the employees unlock the doors), grab a coffee and a croissant from the food court, and embark on a daily pilgrimage through the aisles. Take note of the changing inventory, the seasonal displays, the subtle shifts in the consumerist landscape. Become a Costco connoisseur, a master of bulk buying, a sage of the sample stand.

Phase 3: Seek Enlightenment

As the months turn into years, you'll begin to see beyond the material facade of Costco. You'll recognize the futility of endless acquisition, the emptiness of consumerist desire, the absurdity of a life spent accumulating things you don't need. This is the time for introspection, for philosophical reflection, for contemplating the deeper meaning of existence within the confines of a wholesale warehouse.

Phase 4: Become the Mahchine

In the final stage of your Costco odyssey, you will transcend your earthly desires and become one with the Mahchine. You will understand the intricate workings of the supply chain, the subtle manipulations of marketing, the insidious power of consumerism to shape our thoughts and desires. You will become a Costco guru, dispensing wisdom to lost shoppers, guiding them through the labyrinth of bulk deals and discounted treasures.

And when your five-year sentence is finally up, you will emerge from the fluorescent-lit depths a changed man. You will have confronted the Mahchine in its most mundane yet insidious form, and you will have emerged victorious. You will be a Costco survivor, a master of the wholesale universe, a true XO legend.

Just don't forget to renew your membership.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5614937&forum_id=2...id#48229031)