Date: February 8th, 2012 8:53 PM
Author: lavender buck-toothed pocket flask
Date: February 15th, 2005 7:54 PM
Author: pudsmack (so wonderfully wonderfully wonderfully pretty)
Subject: First mathhelp, then this guy.
8:00 AM---Awakes in his red racecar bed. Plump, stately Ms. Bulligan, the maid hired by the family to tend to RWC and his many whims, enters the room with breakfast on a tray. RWC thrashes and whines about the lack of jam on his toast, and poor Ms. Bulligan scurries downstairs to fetch him more. Juego, the head cook, tells Ms. Bulligan that she ought to poison that boy's tea someday.
8:15 AM---After breakfast, RWC is allowed to watch fifteen minutes of Fox News, but no more, as any greater amount has him riled up for hours on end. When Ms. Bulligan comes in to turn off the TV, RWC starts screeching and has to be given a Pop Tart to calm him down.
8:30 AM---RWC is given his bubble bath in the family's indoor swimming pool. He plays gleefully in the water, splashing water at Ted, the life-guard who is assigned to watch over him while in in the pool; Ted gives a false smile and resumes reading the books he's been assigned by his night classes. RWC keeps telling him "Look! Look what I can do! You're NOT looking!" Ted looks, and RWC smiles like a mongoloid as bubbles appear behind him. When Ms. Bulligan comes to dry him off, RWC screams and begins crying, so that another Pop Tart must be given to him.
9:00 AM---RWC attends the museum trip his mother signed him up for. He hurries from one exhibit to the next, touching each thing despite the many signs asking him not to. Children there on a school field trip are appaled at his behavior when a guard politely asks him not to rub the fake dinosaur's butt; RWC lies on the floor, kicking his legs, and one little girl asks her teacher "Why is that man being so naughty?" The museum is paid by RWC's driver for all damages incrued.
11:00 AM---RWC returns home; Ms. Bulligan allows him to play with his toys for a while. He lines up his toy soldiers and then makes them invade his sister's room, taking over her doll house and installing a new "democratic" regime among her Barbies. When Ms. Bulligan gently reminds him he's not allowed in her room after the panty sniffing incident, he screams and tries clawing at her. Another Pop Tart calms him.
12:00 PM---RWC goes into his parents' room and logs onto their computer. After looking at some dirty sites, he goes to XOXO and begins arguing with someone who claims that President Bush is not God. His syntax, spelling, and garbled rantings leave most confused. Satisfied with another day of "educating" others, he beats off furiously.
1:00 PM---Ms. Bulligan puts RWC to bed for his nap time. He dreams of Cheney, money, and his mother's busom.
3:00 PM---RWC is wakened, and, always cranky after a nap, begins crying about how he has no one to play with. Ms. Bulligan hires some of the neighborhood children to come in and play board games with RWC; within five minutes they have left crying, and phone calls pour in from their parents. Ms. Bulligan assures them that RWC would never take off his pants with children around, and that checks would soon be sent to their mailboxes.
5:00 PM---RWC is brought dinner by Ava, one of the other maids hired by RWC's family. Sweet and demure, she smiles nervously when RWC, cross-eyed and erect, asks if he can lick her face. She leaves crying after he fires her, and Ms. Bulligan has to assure the poor dear that RWC's parents haven't given the boy any such authority and that a check will be given to keep her quiet.
6:00 PM---RWC gets back on the computer. He goes to XOXO and begins a long tirade about why the poor are simply lazy and that Bush has helped them out like no one in the history of mankind. Mathhelp, bothered, Tuba, and the others of the intelligenstia agree whole-heartedly. A few rational beings stifle the urge to vomit.
9:00 PM---RWC is allowed another few hours of Fox, which he watches in his underwear; Ms. Bulligan sits in a nearby rocker, sewing, and occasionally tells RWC not to touch himself and to stop trying to put the dog on his exposed parts, lest he get a rash like last time. RWC yells and screams, and Ms. Bulligan sighs sadly, wondering what a "loonie" is.
11:00 PM---Sleepy RWC is undressed by poor Ms. Bulligan, who then puts on his pyjamas for him (the ones with the feet) and carries him to bed. She trims his mustache while he lays in bed, then brushes his teeth for him. Afterwards is a delightful bed-time story, in which the handsome knight ("what's his name? what's his name?" "Oh, I think it's RWC." "yay!") rescues the pretty princess to live happily ever after. RWC falls asleep and begins to snore loudly, while his hired help begins to leave so as to catch the last bus heading towards their homes in the slums.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=136956&forum_id=1#2139905)
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=1869094&forum_id=2...id#19926637)