Date: April 14th, 2026 7:34 PM Author: Charcoal rambunctious heaven
How else are you going to keep your blood pressure high enough to ensure you spitefully die in your mid 50s so that you don’t have to spend your own golden years visiting your Boomer parents in their long-term luxury care facility through their 114th birthday attained via $3,000 weekly blood infusions from Guatemalan war orphans, which keep them just lucid enough to mash withered age-spotted thumbs on the iPad to sign for the disbursements Muriel, their surly Ed Jones financial advisor, makes from their Roths and 401Ks, whose balances are still, inexplicably, growing over time