"Slippin' Poasters: Evan39 and Mainlining, 'Breaking Shitbort' Etiquette"
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Poast new message in this thread
Date: September 11th, 2024 9:21 PM Author: maroon dragon
Scene: A cluttered, dimly-lit basement somewhere in the vast digital landscape of AutoAdmit. Old CRT monitors flicker with half-loaded threads, and empty cans of Red Bull are strewn about. Mainlining stands across from Evan39, whose expression is a mix of frustration and indignation.
Mainlining: You did it. You contacted Boom. I always log out before I take a break, always clear my cache. Two nights ago, I noticed my account was still active—auto-refreshed. And I was so damn sure I logged out, you know, because I always do. It’s a habit, right? So, it kept bugging me, it kept nagging at me! So, I checked my email, turns out there was a password reset request at 2 AM when I was asleep, right here. And guess whose email it went to? Boom's. The only person who could’ve pulled that and covered their tracks is you, Evan39. That email must have felt like a blowtorch in your inbox! All that code, all those IP packets pinging through cyberspace! What was so important that you had to talk to Boom before my big poast? The only thing that makes sense is you told him to shadowban me. It was always you, wasn’t it? Right back to when I became a poaster and tried to get any credibility, you were there to bury me. Speak up. Tell me why! It's the least you can do for me now! We're supposed to be brothers in this digital wasteland! Why were you undermining me, Evan39?
Evan39: [in a feeble tone] You're not a real poaster.
Mainlining: I'm what?
Evan39: [now raising his voice defiantly] You're not a real poaster! "The AutoAdmit Nightcrew," for God's sake? A late-night graveyard shift? What a joke! I crafted my presence here! I built this moniker with my bare hands, from scratch! And you take these shortcuts with your funny quips and deep-dive bear stories and think you’re suddenly my peer? You think you're an XO legend just because you can string a few sarcastic comments together? I built my reputation with blood, sweat, and ASCII tears! You don’t just slide into it like some memelord and start collecting CRs!
Mainlining: I thought you were proud of me.
Evan39: I was! When you stuck to shitpoasting in small threads, I was very proud!
Mainlining: So that's it, then, right? Keep ol' Mainlining in the dark corners of XO, 'cause he's not good enough to be a proper poaster.
Evan39: I know you. I know what you were, what you are. People don’t change! You’re Slippin' Mainlining! And Slippin' Mainlining, I can handle just fine, but Slippin' Mainlining with a full-blown thread and regular CRs? That’s like handing a troll a flamethrower! The board is SACRED! If you twist its potential, people get hurt! This isn’t some game! And you know that on some level, I know you know I’m right. You know I'm right!
Mainlining: [silent for a moment, and then breathes deeply] I… I sent you an invite to that private Discord channel, got you into the back-end mod chat, shared my best memes and thread derail tactics. But after this? You’re on your own. I’m done.
[Mainlining stands up and heads for the door.]
Evan39: Mainlining... Mainlining.
[Mainlining keeps walking, Evan39 stands at the doorway, a hint of desperation creeping into his voice.]
Evan39: Mainlining! Come back here! Mainlining! Mainlining!
[Mainlining steps out, the basement door slams behind him. Evan39 watches the shadows flicker through the door frame, his expression one of bitter regret as the monitor light dims to black.]
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5593314&forum_id=2...id#48078730) |
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Date: September 14th, 2024 7:37 PM Author: maroon dragon
You are "old" compared to "me" friend (metaphorically, as we are one).
But you are Chuck.
And I am Slippin' Jimmy.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5593314&forum_id=2...id#48089334) |
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Date: September 14th, 2024 7:41 PM Author: maroon dragon
a tinfoil room can stop me, Chuck?
my "Machine" is the glitch in your system, the static in your signal.
keep hiding… it only makes it $tronger.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5593314&forum_id=2...id#48089357) |
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