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told female friend tonight how much i wanted to eat her out...

Date: August 22nd, 2007 2:55 AM Author: Bristol Palin's ret...
Fighting Crotch Site
  10/15/14
...
Navy State Round Eye
  10/15/14
Well must say, that rapist wit and aggression took me by sur...
pontificating philosopher-king
  10/15/14
I forgot the origin of the "phone pee dialed for 911&qu...
violent glittery institution dopamine
  10/15/14
sooo good
Fighting Crotch Site
  10/15/14
dvp needs to chronicle his social interactions in long form ...
Alcoholic Locale
  10/15/14
Always great
Flickering chartreuse sex offender range
  10/15/14
...
Fighting Crotch Site
  10/17/14
!!!
Angry yarmulke
  10/17/14
wtf
tan soggy church building
  10/17/14
This is embarrassing
jade self-centered stage
  10/17/14
fuck this is so good. would read again. was momentarily comp...
Lime den juggernaut
  10/17/14
I thought this was lost to the ages. A spectacularly unique ...
Out-of-control cuck jew
  10/17/14
yeah, I've wanted to read this for so long. OP does good wor...
Bull headed hideous chapel
  10/17/14
thanks!! also been tryna spread this one if u haven't seen ...
Fighting Crotch Site
  10/17/14
can you find ari "the schnoz" goldberg and madelin...
dun razzle pozpig alpha
  11/05/14
I kind of miss when "loserfucker" was part of bort...
Irradiated Big-titted Public Bath
  10/17/14
...
Bull headed hideous chapel
  10/26/14
...
Marvelous brilliant coffee pot
  10/26/14
...
Fighting Crotch Site
  11/05/14
Holy shit, this is one of the first posts I remember reading...
Frum bronze theater
  11/05/14
Where's the follow up poast where he fucks her ragged the wh...
unholy bipolar gas station generalized bond
  11/05/14
oh ho!
bistre rough-skinned trump supporter
  11/05/14
my favorite line
Contagious Cruise Ship National Security Agency
  06/08/26
never caught this one until now. thnx.
Geriatric Fuchsia Abode
  11/05/14
...
confused center corn cake
  06/06/20
...
Fighting Crotch Site
  02/11/22
...
Razzmatazz Shrine Ladyboy
  03/05/22
tyft
Copper sticky area
  03/05/22
...
Fighting Crotch Site
  06/08/26
Important bump
Histrionic orchid coldplay fan
  06/08/26
...
Fighting Crotch Site
  06/08/26
Bristol Palin’s retarded incest baby was a 1800000 mon...
azure organic girlfriend
  06/08/26
...
Fighting Crotch Site
  06/10/26
I wonder what he's up to now
violent glittery institution dopamine
  06/10/26
playing with his shoelaces and chewing on his tongue
Sepia trust fund
  06/10/26
Bristol's kid just turned 16, looks like he's ready for ince...
harsh parlour preventive strike
  06/10/26
I suspect that was gunnerattt tp
Beady-eyed costumed meetinghouse
  06/10/26
...
translucent nibblets
  06/10/26
...
Offensive office
  06/10/26
I find something new in this magnum opus each time. Central ...
harsh parlour preventive strike
  06/10/26
the craziness of central african nations had me lollercausti...
Effete Whorehouse Party Of The First Part
  06/10/26


Poast new message in this thread



Reply Favorite

Date: October 15th, 2014 6:43 AM
Author: Fighting Crotch Site

Date: August 22nd, 2007 2:55 AM

Author: Bristol Palin's retarded incest baby (You keep calling me Babu. It's Singh, mother fucker.)

though i certainly intended to flirt with her, i had not seriously considered telling her that i fantasized about eating her out ( which i do) it just came up.

see she was talking to me about this loserfuck ( she actually did call him a loser) she is obsessed with for reasons she herself does not understand. he is some low level officer in the navy while she is off to the peace corps in february. she is obsessed with him but according to her he doesn't give a crap about her, just using her as a convenient booty call. she told me the guy was so vapid and beneath her and low class and emotionally cold and yada yada but that she couldn't stop thinking about him and obsessing over him etc.

she asks me what she should do and i just tell her not to get too emotional or romantic about him, since the peace corps will end all chance for a relationship and probably change the very things she finds attractive in a man.

Now at this point in time i am thinking my friend's attachment to this douche is physical. she is VERY sexual, the relationship she describes sounds like a fuck buddy relationship gone complicated, and in my head i am imagining a buff navy jock.

so i add....." if the fucking is good just use him as a living dildo ..." but the fucking ISN'T good" she exclaims . what to do you mean i ask " he doesn't care about me , even in bed he is a very selfish lover"

Now i am a virgin, but i am pretty aware of what this phrase means. not only that, but i am aware my friend loves to get eaten out, how do i know this? because she has a guide to eating out pussy on her fucking myspace. its literally the first thing you see, and its been there for at least a year.

"so he doesn''t go down on you " i tell her. she looks slightly shocked." well i know you like to get eaten out since you have a guide for it on your myspace"

she starts laughing, but after a bit she looks at me and she sya " i do love it" she says , and blushes. " he never doesit " she complains. well why would he, if he knows he can just fuck you ?

" yeah he doesn't even have to ask we just get alone and im on him,but it sucks every time!"

now this entire conversation i have had my left arm over her shoulders, this conversation has taken place in the form of conspiratorial whispers in each others ears. at this point in time i lean in. " you know that time we went dancing at passion and you had that black skirt on" " yeah" only then did i notice you have great legs ( she laughs) ever since then i have wanted to eat you out,( oh ho! she says) you don't have to do anything ( Noo she says and starts slowlly but firmly pushing me away with both hands) " you don't have to do anything just lie there and enjoy and of course tell me what yu want ( she keeps pushing me slowly away) " i won't even take off my clothes, ill put a cell phone in your hand so you can call the cops if i dosomething you don't want" ( at this point she says my name and says no firmly.)

I look at her for twenty or so seconds and then say " allright" I scoot away so there is a good 30 inches of space separating us. the next couple of minutes are somewhat awkward. but Ten minutes later we are talking like NOTHING happened.

we then continued a series of raucus and interesting conversations, even returning to the navy guy, but also discussing the peace corps the imminent start for law school for me , the craziness of central african nations. we talked for another THREE AND A HALF hours after my very explicit comeon and there was no akwardness or sign of damage to our friendhsip.

we are hanging out again on saturday.

oh and the setting was a small bar/restaurant with these little nooks and such.

and for those who are going to tell me that i came on as desperate and that i am FRIENDZONEPWNED be aware i am already aware of this . i am resigned to my fate. she was never long term girlfriend material and icertainly have no romantic feelings towards her.

she is just a funny supercool latina CGWBT. if all i can be with her is friends ill gladly take the friendship.

why can't more girls be like this? THIS is how you turn down a pass, you don't have to go ahead and make the guy asahmed that he has a cock betweeen his legs. my friend was very firm, but she did not make me feel bad or guilty or anything. learn from this girls.

( http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=675218&forum_id=2#8544713 )

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id#26519775)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 15th, 2014 7:00 AM
Author: Navy State Round Eye



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id#26519788)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 15th, 2014 8:11 AM
Author: pontificating philosopher-king

Well must say, that rapist wit and aggression took me by surprise.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id#26519900)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 15th, 2014 8:29 AM
Author: violent glittery institution dopamine

I forgot the origin of the "phone pee dialed for 911" meme, thanks for the reminder. I'll just circle back when I need a quick laugh

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id#26519953)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 15th, 2014 3:08 PM
Author: Fighting Crotch Site

sooo good

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id#26522226)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 15th, 2014 3:09 PM
Author: Alcoholic Locale

dvp needs to chronicle his social interactions in long form like this.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id#26522233)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 15th, 2014 3:16 PM
Author: Flickering chartreuse sex offender range

Always great

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id#26522297)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 17th, 2014 9:30 PM
Author: Fighting Crotch Site



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id#26538501)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 17th, 2014 9:32 PM
Author: Angry yarmulke

!!!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id#26538515)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 17th, 2014 9:32 PM
Author: tan soggy church building

wtf

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id#26538516)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 17th, 2014 9:35 PM
Author: jade self-centered stage

This is embarrassing

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id#26538531)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 17th, 2014 9:37 PM
Author: Lime den juggernaut

fuck this is so good. would read again. was momentarily completely consumed by this story.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id#26538541)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 17th, 2014 9:42 PM
Author: Out-of-control cuck jew

I thought this was lost to the ages. A spectacularly unique post.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id#26538567)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 17th, 2014 9:45 PM
Author: Bull headed hideous chapel

yeah, I've wanted to read this for so long. OP does good work around here.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id#26538588)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 17th, 2014 9:48 PM
Author: Fighting Crotch Site

thanks!! also been tryna spread this one if u haven't seen http://www.xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700246&forum_id=2

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id#26538619)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 5th, 2014 9:23 AM
Author: dun razzle pozpig alpha

can you find ari "the schnoz" goldberg and madeline "numbah two" chen?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id#26653055)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 17th, 2014 9:51 PM
Author: Irradiated Big-titted Public Bath

I kind of miss when "loserfucker" was part of bort lexicon.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id#26538650)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 26th, 2014 12:26 AM
Author: Bull headed hideous chapel



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id#26587986)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 26th, 2014 12:26 AM
Author: Marvelous brilliant coffee pot



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id#26587988)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 5th, 2014 5:45 AM
Author: Fighting Crotch Site



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id#26652645)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 5th, 2014 10:29 AM
Author: Frum bronze theater

Holy shit, this is one of the first posts I remember reading on xo. Getting a little teary eyed here.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id#26653282)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 5th, 2014 10:31 AM
Author: unholy bipolar gas station generalized bond

Where's the follow up poast where he fucks her ragged the whole weekend?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id#26653296)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 5th, 2014 11:18 AM
Author: bistre rough-skinned trump supporter

oh ho!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id#26653485)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 8th, 2026 10:16 AM
Author: Contagious Cruise Ship National Security Agency

my favorite line

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id#49922129)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 5th, 2014 11:25 AM
Author: Geriatric Fuchsia Abode

never caught this one until now. thnx.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id#26653508)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 6th, 2020 7:53 PM
Author: confused center corn cake



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id#40365552)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 11th, 2022 10:19 PM
Author: Fighting Crotch Site



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id#43954057)



Reply Favorite

Date: March 5th, 2022 10:05 AM
Author: Razzmatazz Shrine Ladyboy



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id#44089135)



Reply Favorite

Date: March 5th, 2022 10:15 AM
Author: Copper sticky area

tyft

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id#44089181)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 8th, 2026 1:20 AM
Author: Fighting Crotch Site



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id#49921834)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 8th, 2026 1:31 AM
Author: Histrionic orchid coldplay fan

Important bump

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id#49921844)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 8th, 2026 2:10 PM
Author: Fighting Crotch Site



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id#49922845)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 8th, 2026 2:13 PM
Author: azure organic girlfriend

Bristol Palin’s retarded incest baby was a 1800000 moniker

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id#49922870)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2026 1:35 PM
Author: Fighting Crotch Site



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id#49927940)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2026 1:41 PM
Author: violent glittery institution dopamine

I wonder what he's up to now

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id#49927942)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2026 1:46 PM
Author: Sepia trust fund

playing with his shoelaces and chewing on his tongue

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id#49927950)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2026 1:53 PM
Author: harsh parlour preventive strike

Bristol's kid just turned 16, looks like he's ready for incest with mama.

https://www.instagram.com/p/DEdwvcZOaqH/?img_index=1

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id#49927960)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2026 1:57 PM
Author: Beady-eyed costumed meetinghouse

I suspect that was gunnerattt tp

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id#49927967)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2026 11:01 PM
Author: translucent nibblets



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id#49929626)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2026 1:44 PM
Author: Offensive office



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id#49927947)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2026 1:47 PM
Author: harsh parlour preventive strike

I find something new in this magnum opus each time. Central African nations. Amazing.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id#49927953)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2026 3:03 PM
Author: Effete Whorehouse Party Of The First Part

the craziness of central african nations had me lollercausting hard

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id#49928176)