On the sexual compatibility of aspie/autistic men and BPD/histrionic women
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Date: September 22nd, 2023 2:14 PM Author: Self-centered vibrant principal's office
Some of the more aspie (“autistic”) members of this board - of which there are many - may have noticed that they’re disproportionately successful with women who are classified as “BPD,” or as it used to be known, “histrionic personality disorder.” This is a common pattern and there are reasons for this, as follows
It should first be explained that “autism” is just an extremely male brain, while “BPD” is just an extremely female brain. These aren’t “disorders” or “mental illnesses.” Actually, autists and histrionics are just very male males and very female females respectively. The male essence is cold, calculating, logical, focused. The female essence is emotional, unbalanced, unfocused, capricious
Autists and histrionics are drawn to each other because they are only stimulated by their correspondingly extreme counterparts of the opposite sex. It takes a very cold, emotionally stoic, detached, and focused man to calm down a histrionic woman and make her feel safe and validated. She is so used to men who she is able to bend to her will with her antics and demands and sex. And it usually takes a passionate, intense, ravenous BPD woman to truly sexually stimulate aspie men. Regular women may charm us initially, but we otherwise fairly rapidly lose sexual interest in them because of our tendency for detachment and our lack of drive to initiate and seek intimacy
This type of relationship usually works out great initially (especially the sex) but it inevitably runs into problems, and can never last. Histrionic women mistake aspie men for the sociopathic Chad type - the archetype of man who is also cold and detached with women because he is so successful with them, but who fundamentally loves women for being women. Eventually, the histrionic woman comes to realize that the aspie is not so detached from her because of his mastery of women, but rather because he really is fundamentally detached and separate from her in a way that she can never understand or would even want or care to understand
I’m not here to tell you how to have a healthy, monogamous, loving lifelong relationship with a woman (any kind of woman) as an aspie. I haven’t figured that out myself. It seems impossibly hard. But I can tell you that you can use your natural personality to attract and have satisfying sexual relationships with some very sexually attractive women, women who you might otherwise think are totally out of your league. Just don’t try to wife them up. It’s not gonna work
Use the gifts that God gave you. You may be surprised at how well you do
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5410804&forum_id=2...id#46830578) |
Date: January 7th, 2024 1:50 PM Author: Cheese-eating aphrodisiac sandwich
i wouldn't say i'm disproportionately attracted to bpd women
i'd say the women who are attracted to me are disproportionately bpd
a recent ex-gf was extremely hot, very smart, and insanely emotional, selfish, and bpd
she would get enraged when i wouldn't participate in her histrionics. "WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS SO STOIC?!"
she seemed happier when i'd lose my temper
but anyway, yeah, you can't have a "relationship" with a bpd woman
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5410804&forum_id=2...id#47259642) |
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Date: January 7th, 2024 2:15 PM Author: shaky razzmatazz gas station legend
I would advise against this.
A BPD woman will tear your clothes off one minute, call the cops on you for spanking her the next, then cry and try to pull them away from you as they haul you off to jail.
Despite this, she may consider herself the victim again after she learns how much attention this brings her and will happily press charges and testify against you.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5410804&forum_id=2...id#47259719) |
Date: January 7th, 2024 3:48 PM Author: maroon at-the-ready point pisswyrm
this is spot on scholarship. my last ex was BPD and I was with her for three years. i spent a lot of time studying bpd, both actual scholarship and support groups.
the easiest way to describe bpd is "a very extreme case of being a woman." for women emotions are their reality. the "borderline" refers to bordering on psychosis, i.e. detachment from reality. most women will eventually align their emotions with reality. bpd women will perceive reality that is in line with their emotions. it can make you question your own sanity when a person you know is very intelligent and reasonable most of the time is describes a situation you witnessed that is completely out of line with what actually happened.
this is what caused the idealization/devaluation shit that is so common with bpd. when they have good feelings about you you are the best and most perfect man ever. they will do anything for you and dote on you endlessly. but when she has bad feelings about you you are scummiest man to have ever walked the planet. one day she'd help you bury a body, the next she'll call the cops on you for being abusive.
because BPD is essentially "extreme being a woman" it's hard for most guys to understand until they've experienced it. you'll hear a story about a bpd woman and think "yeah, all women are like that though."
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5410804&forum_id=2...id#47260000) |
Date: January 7th, 2024 6:37 PM Author: stimulating pit nowag
This is sloppy. The male version of the BPD woman is the narcissistic, psychopathic and Machiavellian male.
Think about a talented yet unethical salesman looking for his mark or Patrick Bateman.
Unlike the autist, who masturbates alone his entire life, the dark triad male comes off as charming, masculine and powerful.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5410804&forum_id=2...id#47260573) |
Date: October 22nd, 2024 11:31 AM Author: Refunkulus (I Always Post Always TP)
There's a lot of grey areas in mental illness and BPD is very hard to diagnose.
Women you may see as BPD can actually have Bipolar, CPTSD, Autism, addiction issues, and other things that are chemical imbalances or trauma inflicted conditions rather than an actual personality disorder. These types of women have issues but those issues are actually manageable, and not a fatal flaw in their personality.
The men that true borderlines are attracted to are also different but under the same cluster as the OP stated: Autistic men, Psychopathic/Sociopathic men, Narcissistic men, High T chads.
If you have read the literature about BPD, it's usually a link between childhood trauma between the ages of like 2-7 years old and there's a genetic component that's brought out by the trauma or interactions with one or both parents.
Fundamentally I've found that BPD women are initially attracted to men that exhibit stability of emotion or exude a sense of warmness. Sometimes they mistake relaxation or ease for warmness. Borderlines also proactively approach and pursue men more often than other women, because some of have an innately "emotionally predatory" nature.
As time goes on they seek to destabilize men in a cyclical fashion - but when they encounter one of these previously mentioned types of men - they will grow increasingly upset/distressed/resentful if the man does not become destabilized.
What makes this interesting is that some men (Autistic/Sociopathic/Psychopathic/Narcissistic) really cannot be emotionally destabilized in the way that the borderline wants - because many of these types of men have already seen the borderline for what she really is even before the relationship started - a lost and angry emotional child.
In this case the borderline has made a genuine miscalculation - there is no (or at least very little) emotion to be extracted from their partner, and in the process has deceived herself.
She also exhausts herself because of her conscious or subconscious efforts to be "unpredictable" - but to these men, who have already thoroughly objectified her and reduced her before even engaging with her, she has been rendered extremely predictable.
The Autist's emotions are insufficient by nature, and the Sociopath/Psychopath and Narcissist's emotions simply don't really exist - they are just manufactured in order to keep the borderline under their influence as entertainment or for their pleasure.
Because of this, despite her best efforts, the borderline is basically experiencing the emotional equivalent of "protein poisoning" or "Mal de Caribou" and therefore starves herself of the emotional supply she needs - but remains in the relationship. She seeks emotions and feelings to mirror, to feed upon, to feel whole - but there are none - or the ones that are to be found are insufficient for her. She is being starved of the emotional supply she needs, all the while convincing herself that she is eating by remaining with this type of man - while growing increasingly depleted and frustrated. The predator has become the prey.
They engage in the equivalent of a child throwing a tantrum, and instead of expecting their caregiver to come to their aid to either soothe or punish them, they realize that with these types of men there never was no caregiver to begin with, and simply conjured one out of an almost inanimate object while they remained alone in an orphanage.
(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5410804&forum_id=2...id#48226316)
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