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Twas the Night Before Christmas (Peterman version)

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the J ...
know-it-all puce whorehouse old irish cottage
  12/03/18
...
know-it-all puce whorehouse old irish cottage
  12/03/18
TLDR but clearly you spent a lot of time on this, plz enjoy ...
Titillating olive national security agency
  12/03/18
ty!
know-it-all puce whorehouse old irish cottage
  12/03/18
jfc, this was 180. This is why I continue to visit this d...
Haunting useless spot genital piercing
  12/03/18
...
Soul-stirring Milk Alpha
  12/24/21
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Thriller Church Faggotry
  12/03/18
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  12/24/18
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Thriller Church Faggotry
  12/24/18
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Talented gunner casino
  12/24/18
To be fair, What—a Jew lampooning Christmas in a vu...
lime curious point coldplay fan
  12/24/18
120
Vibrant gas station faggot firefighter
  12/24/18
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know-it-all puce whorehouse old irish cottage
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Vibrant gas station faggot firefighter
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Artistic gold tyvmft
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  12/16/21
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Irradiated mediation meetinghouse
  12/24/18
...
laughsome chest-beating useless brakes ceo
  12/24/18
this was pretty good, nice work
Supple Mint Sweet Tailpipe
  12/24/18
~*Christmas in July bump*~
know-it-all puce whorehouse old irish cottage
  07/01/19
...
Thriller Church Faggotry
  07/01/19
...
Thriller Church Faggotry
  07/01/19
Early December Bump
know-it-all puce whorehouse old irish cottage
  12/10/19
getting close...
know-it-all puce whorehouse old irish cottage
  12/20/19
ding ding ding
know-it-all puce whorehouse old irish cottage
  12/24/19
...
yellow newt
  12/24/19
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know-it-all puce whorehouse old irish cottage
  12/24/19
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Purple arousing philosopher-king tanning salon
  12/24/19
This deserves more bumps.
Salmon mind-boggling brunch
  12/24/19
...
lake alcoholic juggernaut water buffalo
  12/24/19
lost it at 8 tiny trans queers. still unmitigated 180
Coral skinny woman
  12/24/19
lol
know-it-all puce whorehouse old irish cottage
  12/24/19
This
Soul-stirring Milk Alpha
  12/24/21
Missed this the first time. Great work dude. 180
hairless swashbuckling masturbator theater
  12/24/19
ty, labor of love
know-it-all puce whorehouse old irish cottage
  12/24/19
...
Burgundy corner roast beef
  12/24/19
...
know-it-all puce whorehouse old irish cottage
  12/24/19
lube up your chimneys!
know-it-all puce whorehouse old irish cottage
  12/24/19
pure gold 180
Soul-stirring Milk Alpha
  12/24/19
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slimy exciting headpube
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Plum cowardly becky chad
  12/24/20
It's time.
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  12/24/20
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big bat-shit-crazy messiness organic girlfriend
  12/24/20
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know-it-all puce whorehouse old irish cottage
  12/16/21
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ruby heady legal warrant mood
  12/16/21
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Plum cowardly becky chad
  12/16/21
Chri$tmas $pirit
know-it-all puce whorehouse old irish cottage
  12/20/21
Lmao
Hyperventilating Trip Bawdyhouse Jewess
  12/20/21
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Hyperventilating Trip Bawdyhouse Jewess
  12/22/21
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bateful azn
  12/24/21
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Soul-stirring Milk Alpha
  12/25/23
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grown men with poopy butt cracks
  12/25/25
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nude butt cheeks
  12/25/25
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constantscreen the great
  12/25/25


Poast new message in this thread



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 12:45 PM
Author: know-it-all puce whorehouse old irish cottage

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the J

Lots of truckers were hungry, much like any old day;

The rig pigs were hung, taking dick pics with care,

In hopes that St. Peterman soon would be there;

The truckers were horny, dicks throbbing and red ,

While visions of Peter’s plums danced in their heads;

And Earl in his 'kerchief, and I in my cap,

Had just settled down longing for Peterman’s gap,

When out on the lot there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from the truck to see what was the matter.

Away to the lot I flew like a flash,

Tore open my zipper in hope of fresh gash.

The moon on the breast of the softly lit J

Made the lot lizards glow, all looking to play,

When, what to my wandering eyes should appear,

But a beady-eyed Peterman, and eight tiny trans-queers,

With a little old driver, so lively and quick,

I knew in a moment this night would be sick.

More rapid than eagles out their trousers they came,

And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

"Now, FLASHER! now, DANCER! now, PRANCER and VIXEN!

On, ROCKET ! on CUPID! on, BONER and SHITZEN!

To the back of the truck! to the top of the wall!

Now suck away! suck away! fuck away all!"

As lubed holes that before the wild hurricane fly,

When they meet with a cock, were mounted to the sky,

So up to the truck-stops the trans-queers they flew,

With the sleigh full of boys, and St. Peterman too.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof

The prancing and pawing of each little poof.

As he jerked with his hand, and was turning around,

“Stuff my chimney!” said St. Peterman on the ground.

He was dressed all in latex, from his head to his foot,

His knees were all tarnished with ashes and soot;

A bundle of dildos he had flung on his back,

And he looked like a peddler just lifting his sac.

His eyes -- how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!

His cheeks were like roses, his boihole like a cherry!

His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,

And the beard of his chin had cum white as snow;

The stump of my pipe he held tight in his teeth,

And his lips did encircle its head like a wreath;

He had a broad face and a little round belly,

His broad backside shook like a bowlful of jelly.

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,

And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,

Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,

We filled all their “stockings” and had circle jerks,

And laying his finger aside of his nose,

A huge snort of cocaine billowed up and rose;

Then he sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,

And away they all pranced like the down of a thistle.

But I heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight,

"HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, CASH AND CHECKS ARE ALL-RIGHT!"

Happy December, Merry Christmas & Happy New Year.

Upset Jew, 12-03-2018



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#37342568)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:00 PM
Author: know-it-all puce whorehouse old irish cottage



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#37343357)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:04 PM
Author: Titillating olive national security agency

TLDR but clearly you spent a lot of time on this, plz enjoy this pity bump as my Chanukah present to you

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#37343380)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:10 PM
Author: know-it-all puce whorehouse old irish cottage

ty!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#37343413)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:16 PM
Author: Haunting useless spot genital piercing

jfc, this was 180.

This is why I continue to visit this demented chatbort.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#37343471)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:53 PM
Author: Soul-stirring Milk Alpha



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#43670143)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:17 PM
Author: Thriller Church Faggotry



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#37343477)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:18 PM
Author: Nofapping Prole



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#37343484)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:22 PM
Author: rose goyim site



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#37343509)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:22 PM
Author: Mustard contagious nowag lay



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#37343515)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:26 PM
Author: Haunting useless spot genital piercing



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#37343539)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:35 AM
Author: know-it-all puce whorehouse old irish cottage



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#37367063)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:39 AM
Author: spruce domesticated national telephone



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#37367091)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:50 AM
Author: big bat-shit-crazy messiness organic girlfriend



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#37367151)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:52 AM
Author: jet step-uncle's house police squad



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#37367159)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:55 AM
Author: Cyan galvanic mental disorder



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#37367178)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 14th, 2018 12:12 PM
Author: know-it-all puce whorehouse old irish cottage



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#37407273)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 14th, 2018 12:15 PM
Author: dashing cruise ship



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Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:40 AM
Author: know-it-all puce whorehouse old irish cottage



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#37462610)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:40 AM
Author: Thriller Church Faggotry



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#37462612)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:41 AM
Author: Talented gunner casino



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Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:44 AM
Author: lime curious point coldplay fan

To be fair,

What—a Jew lampooning Christmas in a vulgar and sexually explicit manner for “laughs”? Why I’ve never

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#37462619)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:52 AM
Author: Vibrant gas station faggot firefighter

120

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#37462646)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 7:44 PM
Author: know-it-all puce whorehouse old irish cottage



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#37465688)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:47 AM
Author: Vibrant gas station faggot firefighter



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#37462629)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:54 AM
Author: ruby heady legal warrant mood



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#37462649)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:46 AM
Author: know-it-all puce whorehouse old irish cottage



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#37462815)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:02 PM
Author: ruddy offensive cumskin cuckold



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#37465757)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:27 PM
Author: Coral skinny woman

Artistic gold tyvmft

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#37466002)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 12:45 PM
Author: know-it-all puce whorehouse old irish cottage



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#43619656)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:30 PM
Author: Irradiated mediation meetinghouse



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#37466012)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:35 PM
Author: laughsome chest-beating useless brakes ceo



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#37466032)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:38 PM
Author: Supple Mint Sweet Tailpipe

this was pretty good, nice work

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#37466049)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: know-it-all puce whorehouse old irish cottage

~*Christmas in July bump*~

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#38469719)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: Thriller Church Faggotry



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#38469721)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: Thriller Church Faggotry



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#38469720)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 10th, 2019 9:37 AM
Author: know-it-all puce whorehouse old irish cottage

Early December Bump

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#39241607)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2019 12:21 PM
Author: know-it-all puce whorehouse old irish cottage

getting close...

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#39297740)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 12:18 AM
Author: know-it-all puce whorehouse old irish cottage

ding ding ding

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#39316620)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 12:38 AM
Author: yellow newt



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#39316668)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:42 AM
Author: know-it-all puce whorehouse old irish cottage



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#39317383)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:49 AM
Author: Purple arousing philosopher-king tanning salon



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#39317409)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:52 AM
Author: Salmon mind-boggling brunch

This deserves more bumps.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#39317415)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:07 AM
Author: lake alcoholic juggernaut water buffalo



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#39317493)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:14 AM
Author: Coral skinny woman

lost it at 8 tiny trans queers. still unmitigated 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#39317523)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 10:57 AM
Author: know-it-all puce whorehouse old irish cottage

lol

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#39318060)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:54 PM
Author: Soul-stirring Milk Alpha

This

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#43670148)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:30 AM
Author: hairless swashbuckling masturbator theater

Missed this the first time. Great work dude.

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#39317610)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 10:58 AM
Author: know-it-all puce whorehouse old irish cottage

ty, labor of love

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#39318062)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 11:02 AM
Author: Burgundy corner roast beef



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#39318085)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 11:51 AM
Author: know-it-all puce whorehouse old irish cottage



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#39318318)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 1:48 PM
Author: know-it-all puce whorehouse old irish cottage

lube up your chimneys!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#39318901)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 4:19 PM
Author: Soul-stirring Milk Alpha

pure gold 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#39319682)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 5:57 PM
Author: know-it-all puce whorehouse old irish cottage



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#39320155)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 4:29 PM
Author: slimy exciting headpube



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#39319749)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 15th, 2020 2:54 PM
Author: know-it-all puce whorehouse old irish cottage



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#41553760)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 23rd, 2020 1:37 PM
Author: know-it-all puce whorehouse old irish cottage



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#41603653)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 8:07 AM
Author: Plum cowardly becky chad



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#41608882)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 1:14 PM
Author: know-it-all puce whorehouse old irish cottage

It's time.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#41610330)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 1:19 PM
Author: big bat-shit-crazy messiness organic girlfriend



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#41610375)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 10:44 AM
Author: know-it-all puce whorehouse old irish cottage



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#43618689)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 11:32 AM
Author: ruby heady legal warrant mood



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#43619119)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 11:34 AM
Author: Plum cowardly becky chad



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#43619130)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2021 12:21 PM
Author: know-it-all puce whorehouse old irish cottage

Chri$tmas $pirit

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#43643241)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2021 12:27 PM
Author: Hyperventilating Trip Bawdyhouse Jewess

Lmao

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#43643299)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 22nd, 2021 5:59 PM
Author: know-it-all puce whorehouse old irish cottage



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#43658914)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 22nd, 2021 6:53 PM
Author: Hyperventilating Trip Bawdyhouse Jewess



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#43659259)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:49 PM
Author: bateful azn



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#43670127)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2023 11:04 AM
Author: Soul-stirring Milk Alpha



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#47211358)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 2:14 AM
Author: grown men with poopy butt cracks



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Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 8:10 AM
Author: nude butt cheeks (✅🍑)



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Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 8:14 AM
Author: constantscreen the great



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#49538935)