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I smear the toilet seat with my semen at house parties.
| Filthy Territorial Forum Sneaky Criminal | 08/02/13 |
| out-of-control site | 08/03/13 |
| Exciting Bisexual Keepsake Machete Tanning Salon | 08/02/13 |
| pearly foreskin | 08/02/13 |
| Filthy Territorial Forum Sneaky Criminal | 08/02/13 |
| pearly foreskin | 08/02/13 |
| mildly autistic motley menage | 08/02/13 |
| fiercely-loyal cracking step-uncle's house | 08/02/13 |
| Federal Odious Area Shitlib | 08/02/13 |
| Filthy Territorial Forum Sneaky Criminal | 08/02/13 |
| Federal Odious Area Shitlib | 08/02/13 |
| Filthy Territorial Forum Sneaky Criminal | 08/02/13 |
| Federal Odious Area Shitlib | 08/02/13 |
| Filthy Territorial Forum Sneaky Criminal | 08/02/13 |
| Honey-headed misanthropic trailer park | 08/02/13 |
| lascivious bronze water buffalo principal's office | 08/02/13 |
| Aphrodisiac bat-shit-crazy ticket booth puppy | 08/02/13 |
| concupiscible liquid oxygen state | 08/02/13 |
| Filthy Territorial Forum Sneaky Criminal | 08/03/13 |
| vivacious burgundy heaven boltzmann | 08/02/13 |
| Filthy Territorial Forum Sneaky Criminal | 08/02/13 |
| Histrionic white weed whacker | 08/02/13 |
| Exciting Bisexual Keepsake Machete Tanning Salon | 08/02/13 |
| submissive wrinkle | 08/03/13 |
| big wine kitchen | 08/04/13 |
| Maroon charismatic french chef | 05/15/18 |
| Mega Penis | 07/06/26 |
Poast new message in this thread
Date: August 2nd, 2013 7:28 AM Author: Filthy Territorial Forum Sneaky Criminal I hate these whores who get drunk at parties and leave with alphas they just met. They won't even look at me, me with my prestigious Juris Doctor degree, me with my stable income, me with my expensive suits, me a bona fide member of the bar, me a legend in the County Court lunchroom. No, these sluts chase firefighters and flight lieutenants, actors and athletes, cool chill bros with smooth faces and square jawlines.
But I have the toilet.
Yeah, while you're out there shaking your tits for the hunk parade, I'm parked here jerking off to the thought of you fucked. I go for slow, leisurely strokes, detailed, almost literary, scenarios. You knock. "I need to pee!" My fist goes spastic, responding. It only takes a minute or two. I'm efficient.
Door opens. Surprise, you're drunk. Don't even bother waiting for me to finish washing my hands. You just plop on the toilet, jeans down, legs splayed. I dry my hands, ever the gentleman, not even risking a sidelong glance. "Hey, why's the seat all--"
Door closes.
It only takes one. One little sperm to make its journey up your cunt canal, depositing my little protein package in your unguarded womb. Yeah, he'll get to rail you tonight, but only to spooge in a balloon (I heard the crinkle when he took his wallet out earlier). If you balloon--when you balloon--odds are it will be mine. You'll think it's his, he'll think it's his, but that nose, those eyes? They're mine.
And 23 years later, when your little bundle of joy takes his little 23andme test, the sordid truth will out. Check the scores. You: shamed slut. Him: shamed cuck. Me: laughing all the way to the sperm bank.
I don't get invited to many parties. |
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Date: August 3rd, 2013 1:56 PM Author: out-of-control site 180 azn man's tale (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2326836&forum_id=2...id#23773495) |
Date: August 2nd, 2013 7:30 AM Author: Exciting Bisexual Keepsake Machete Tanning Salon yes, tomcats do this as well thru "territorial marking." (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2326836&forum_id=2...id#23766896) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2013 7:50 AM Author: pearly foreskin I've never heard of someone impregnating an upper thigh (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2326836&forum_id=2...id#23766904) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2013 11:17 AM Author: Filthy Territorial Forum Sneaky Criminal (dates fat girls) (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2326836&forum_id=2...id#23767562) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2013 4:45 PM Author: pearly foreskin *pisses on toilet seats* (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2326836&forum_id=2...id#23769484) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2013 7:52 AM Author: mildly autistic motley menage is this an original work? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2326836&forum_id=2...id#23766906) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2013 8:35 AM Author: fiercely-loyal cracking step-uncle's house it appears so although the similarities to "grateful shiteater" cannot be discarded out of hand (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2326836&forum_id=2...id#23766945) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2013 11:20 AM Author: Federal Odious Area Shitlib I shared a bathroom w my sisters growing up and was terrified of accidentally doing this, but had nowhere else to fap (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2326836&forum_id=2...id#23767574) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2013 11:21 AM Author: Filthy Territorial Forum Sneaky Criminal Was your family too poor to buy Clorox? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2326836&forum_id=2...id#23767582) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2013 11:22 AM Author: Federal Odious Area Shitlib I would clean the bathroom after but there was always that "what if"
plus I was like 12 |
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Date: August 2nd, 2013 11:27 AM Author: Filthy Territorial Forum Sneaky Criminal You usually orgasmed to that WHAT IF, didn't you? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2326836&forum_id=2...id#23767605) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2013 11:29 AM Author: Federal Odious Area Shitlib or something I watched on cinemax after I was supposed to be asleep (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2326836&forum_id=2...id#23767616) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2013 4:10 PM Author: Filthy Territorial Forum Sneaky Criminal Your sisters were on Cinemax? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2326836&forum_id=2...id#23769338) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2013 11:24 AM Author: Honey-headed misanthropic trailer park lol at "terrified"
moar like "excited at the thought" |
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Date: August 2nd, 2013 11:26 AM Author: lascivious bronze water buffalo principal's office this. you don't get terrified of impregnating your sister while you have her panties covering your face and you're vigorously stroking your cock. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2326836&forum_id=2...id#23767598) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2013 4:37 PM Author: Aphrodisiac bat-shit-crazy ticket booth puppy I was particularly worried when my sisters took a bath. I totally forgot about that until this thread reminded me. I wonder how many abortions they had (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2326836&forum_id=2...id#23769451) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2013 4:29 PM Author: concupiscible liquid oxygen state this thread is pretty 1029 (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2326836&forum_id=2...id#23769427) |
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Date: August 3rd, 2013 1:53 PM Author: Filthy Territorial Forum Sneaky Criminal underrated (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2326836&forum_id=2...id#23773485) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2013 5:10 PM Author: vivacious burgundy heaven boltzmann Why would you do this to your own spawn? He's basically shamed for life as a bastard child now. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2326836&forum_id=2...id#23769560) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2013 8:51 PM Author: Filthy Territorial Forum Sneaky Criminal I will legitimate the spawn I sire with a submissive CGWBT who gives me her virginity on our wedding night. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2326836&forum_id=2...id#23770704) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2013 5:35 PM Author: Histrionic white weed whacker The nose knows! (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2326836&forum_id=2...id#23769659) |
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Date: August 2nd, 2013 5:35 PM Author: Exciting Bisexual Keepsake Machete Tanning Salon i laffed, why. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2326836&forum_id=2...id#23769663) |
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Date: August 3rd, 2013 2:01 PM Author: submissive wrinkle An Faggot? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2326836&forum_id=2...id#23773513) |
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Date: August 4th, 2013 8:21 AM Author: big wine kitchen Fuck my ass (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2326836&forum_id=2...id#23777266) |
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Date: May 15th, 2018 2:09 AM Author: Maroon charismatic french chef (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2326836&forum_id=2...id#36053151) |
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Date: July 6th, 2026 8:57 PM Author: Mega Penis (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2326836&forum_id=2...id#49982780) |