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Twas the Night Before Christmas (Peterman version)

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the J ...
maroon jap police squad
  12/03/18
...
maroon jap police squad
  12/03/18
TLDR but clearly you spent a lot of time on this, plz enjoy ...
vibrant french garrison jew
  12/03/18
ty!
maroon jap police squad
  12/03/18
jfc, this was 180. This is why I continue to visit this d...
House-broken Irradiated Sanctuary Cuckold
  12/03/18
...
Useless poppy native roommate
  12/24/21
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shimmering haunting marketing idea
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mildly autistic gas station
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House-broken Irradiated Sanctuary Cuckold
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maroon jap police squad
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aromatic startled organic girlfriend philosopher-king
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Histrionic dull main people menage
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diverse useless brakes
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  12/14/18
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impertinent violent parlour
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maroon jap police squad
  12/24/18
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shimmering haunting marketing idea
  12/24/18
...
supple boiling water heaven
  12/24/18
To be fair, What—a Jew lampooning Christmas in a vu...
Adulterous Location
  12/24/18
120
awkward church
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...
maroon jap police squad
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Artistic gold tyvmft
angry blathering casino
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maroon jap police squad
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...
Chrome faggot firefighter
  12/24/18
...
Light alcoholic rehab
  12/24/18
this was pretty good, nice work
trip legend
  12/24/18
~*Christmas in July bump*~
maroon jap police squad
  07/01/19
...
shimmering haunting marketing idea
  07/01/19
...
shimmering haunting marketing idea
  07/01/19
Early December Bump
maroon jap police squad
  12/10/19
getting close...
maroon jap police squad
  12/20/19
ding ding ding
maroon jap police squad
  12/24/19
...
bright heady factory reset button roast beef
  12/24/19
...
maroon jap police squad
  12/24/19
...
Insecure Fortuitous Meteor Range
  12/24/19
This deserves more bumps.
charcoal fear-inspiring macaca
  12/24/19
...
Stimulating Fishy Patrolman
  12/24/19
lost it at 8 tiny trans queers. still unmitigated 180
angry blathering casino
  12/24/19
lol
maroon jap police squad
  12/24/19
This
Useless poppy native roommate
  12/24/21
Missed this the first time. Great work dude. 180
submissive bisexual theatre coldplay fan
  12/24/19
ty, labor of love
maroon jap police squad
  12/24/19
...
arousing cruise ship keepsake machete
  12/24/19
...
maroon jap police squad
  12/24/19
lube up your chimneys!
maroon jap police squad
  12/24/19
pure gold 180
Useless poppy native roommate
  12/24/19
...
maroon jap police squad
  12/24/19
...
Zombie-like Razzle Therapy Locus
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maroon jap police squad
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maroon jap police squad
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  12/24/20
It's time.
maroon jap police squad
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...
vivacious cream tanning salon becky
  12/24/20
...
maroon jap police squad
  12/16/21
...
Bat shit crazy kitty
  12/16/21
...
talented erotic immigrant nursing home
  12/16/21
Chri$tmas $pirit
maroon jap police squad
  12/20/21
Lmao
sick cordovan base
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...
maroon jap police squad
  12/22/21
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sick cordovan base
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Useless poppy native roommate
  12/25/23
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grown men with poopy butt cracks
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nude butt cheeks
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constantscreen the great
  12/25/25


Poast new message in this thread



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 12:45 PM
Author: maroon jap police squad

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the J

Lots of truckers were hungry, much like any old day;

The rig pigs were hung, taking dick pics with care,

In hopes that St. Peterman soon would be there;

The truckers were horny, dicks throbbing and red ,

While visions of Peter’s plums danced in their heads;

And Earl in his 'kerchief, and I in my cap,

Had just settled down longing for Peterman’s gap,

When out on the lot there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from the truck to see what was the matter.

Away to the lot I flew like a flash,

Tore open my zipper in hope of fresh gash.

The moon on the breast of the softly lit J

Made the lot lizards glow, all looking to play,

When, what to my wandering eyes should appear,

But a beady-eyed Peterman, and eight tiny trans-queers,

With a little old driver, so lively and quick,

I knew in a moment this night would be sick.

More rapid than eagles out their trousers they came,

And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

"Now, FLASHER! now, DANCER! now, PRANCER and VIXEN!

On, ROCKET ! on CUPID! on, BONER and SHITZEN!

To the back of the truck! to the top of the wall!

Now suck away! suck away! fuck away all!"

As lubed holes that before the wild hurricane fly,

When they meet with a cock, were mounted to the sky,

So up to the truck-stops the trans-queers they flew,

With the sleigh full of boys, and St. Peterman too.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof

The prancing and pawing of each little poof.

As he jerked with his hand, and was turning around,

“Stuff my chimney!” said St. Peterman on the ground.

He was dressed all in latex, from his head to his foot,

His knees were all tarnished with ashes and soot;

A bundle of dildos he had flung on his back,

And he looked like a peddler just lifting his sac.

His eyes -- how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!

His cheeks were like roses, his boihole like a cherry!

His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,

And the beard of his chin had cum white as snow;

The stump of my pipe he held tight in his teeth,

And his lips did encircle its head like a wreath;

He had a broad face and a little round belly,

His broad backside shook like a bowlful of jelly.

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,

And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,

Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,

We filled all their “stockings” and had circle jerks,

And laying his finger aside of his nose,

A huge snort of cocaine billowed up and rose;

Then he sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,

And away they all pranced like the down of a thistle.

But I heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight,

"HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, CASH AND CHECKS ARE ALL-RIGHT!"

Happy December, Merry Christmas & Happy New Year.

Upset Jew, 12-03-2018



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#37342568)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:00 PM
Author: maroon jap police squad



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#37343357)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:04 PM
Author: vibrant french garrison jew

TLDR but clearly you spent a lot of time on this, plz enjoy this pity bump as my Chanukah present to you

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#37343380)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:10 PM
Author: maroon jap police squad

ty!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#37343413)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:16 PM
Author: House-broken Irradiated Sanctuary Cuckold

jfc, this was 180.

This is why I continue to visit this demented chatbort.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#37343471)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:53 PM
Author: Useless poppy native roommate



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#43670143)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:17 PM
Author: shimmering haunting marketing idea



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#37343477)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:18 PM
Author: Impressive crackhouse



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#37343484)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:22 PM
Author: Domesticated area



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#37343509)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:22 PM
Author: mildly autistic gas station



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#37343515)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:26 PM
Author: House-broken Irradiated Sanctuary Cuckold



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#37343539)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:35 AM
Author: maroon jap police squad



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#37367063)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:39 AM
Author: aromatic startled organic girlfriend philosopher-king



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#37367091)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:50 AM
Author: vivacious cream tanning salon becky



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#37367151)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:52 AM
Author: Histrionic dull main people menage



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#37367159)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:55 AM
Author: diverse useless brakes



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Reply Favorite

Date: December 14th, 2018 12:12 PM
Author: maroon jap police squad



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#37407273)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 14th, 2018 12:15 PM
Author: impertinent violent parlour



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#37407292)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:40 AM
Author: maroon jap police squad



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#37462610)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:40 AM
Author: shimmering haunting marketing idea



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#37462612)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:41 AM
Author: supple boiling water heaven



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#37462615)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:44 AM
Author: Adulterous Location

To be fair,

What—a Jew lampooning Christmas in a vulgar and sexually explicit manner for “laughs”? Why I’ve never

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#37462619)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:52 AM
Author: awkward church

120

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#37462646)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 7:44 PM
Author: maroon jap police squad



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#37465688)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:47 AM
Author: awkward church



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#37462629)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:54 AM
Author: Bat shit crazy kitty



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#37462649)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:46 AM
Author: maroon jap police squad



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#37462815)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:02 PM
Author: spectacular pocket flask



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#37465757)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:27 PM
Author: angry blathering casino

Artistic gold tyvmft

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#37466002)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 12:45 PM
Author: maroon jap police squad



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#43619656)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:30 PM
Author: Chrome faggot firefighter



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#37466012)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:35 PM
Author: Light alcoholic rehab



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Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:38 PM
Author: trip legend

this was pretty good, nice work

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#37466049)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: maroon jap police squad

~*Christmas in July bump*~

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#38469719)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: shimmering haunting marketing idea



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#38469721)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: shimmering haunting marketing idea



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#38469720)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 10th, 2019 9:37 AM
Author: maroon jap police squad

Early December Bump

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#39241607)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2019 12:21 PM
Author: maroon jap police squad

getting close...

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#39297740)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 12:18 AM
Author: maroon jap police squad

ding ding ding

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#39316620)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 12:38 AM
Author: bright heady factory reset button roast beef



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#39316668)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:42 AM
Author: maroon jap police squad



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#39317383)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:49 AM
Author: Insecure Fortuitous Meteor Range



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#39317409)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:52 AM
Author: charcoal fear-inspiring macaca

This deserves more bumps.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#39317415)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:07 AM
Author: Stimulating Fishy Patrolman



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#39317493)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:14 AM
Author: angry blathering casino

lost it at 8 tiny trans queers. still unmitigated 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#39317523)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 10:57 AM
Author: maroon jap police squad

lol

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#39318060)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:54 PM
Author: Useless poppy native roommate

This

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#43670148)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:30 AM
Author: submissive bisexual theatre coldplay fan

Missed this the first time. Great work dude.

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#39317610)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 10:58 AM
Author: maroon jap police squad

ty, labor of love

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#39318062)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 11:02 AM
Author: arousing cruise ship keepsake machete



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#39318085)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 11:51 AM
Author: maroon jap police squad



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#39318318)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 1:48 PM
Author: maroon jap police squad

lube up your chimneys!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#39318901)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 4:19 PM
Author: Useless poppy native roommate

pure gold 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#39319682)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 5:57 PM
Author: maroon jap police squad



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#39320155)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 4:29 PM
Author: Zombie-like Razzle Therapy Locus



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#39319749)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 15th, 2020 2:54 PM
Author: maroon jap police squad



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#41553760)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 23rd, 2020 1:37 PM
Author: maroon jap police squad



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#41603653)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 8:07 AM
Author: talented erotic immigrant nursing home



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#41608882)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 1:14 PM
Author: maroon jap police squad

It's time.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#41610330)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 1:19 PM
Author: vivacious cream tanning salon becky



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#41610375)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 10:44 AM
Author: maroon jap police squad



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#43618689)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 11:32 AM
Author: Bat shit crazy kitty



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#43619119)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 11:34 AM
Author: talented erotic immigrant nursing home



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#43619130)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2021 12:21 PM
Author: maroon jap police squad

Chri$tmas $pirit

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#43643241)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2021 12:27 PM
Author: sick cordovan base

Lmao

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#43643299)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 22nd, 2021 5:59 PM
Author: maroon jap police squad



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#43658914)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 22nd, 2021 6:53 PM
Author: sick cordovan base



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Date: December 24th, 2021 4:49 PM
Author: Autistic genital piercing station



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Date: December 25th, 2023 11:04 AM
Author: Useless poppy native roommate



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id#47211358)



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Date: December 25th, 2025 2:14 AM
Author: grown men with poopy butt cracks



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Date: December 25th, 2025 8:10 AM
Author: nude butt cheeks (✅🍑)



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Date: December 25th, 2025 8:14 AM
Author: constantscreen the great



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