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Good writers: Fix this clunky sentence I can't seem to fix

As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car dri...
Dull Bawdyhouse
  04/30/21
"C was seen driving in the X area, with D as a passenge...
Orange glittery parlor
  04/30/21
they do if its an auto case. Contrib or comparative play a ...
Wonderful maroon turdskin trump supporter
  04/30/21
Your sentence doesn't even say that A and B saw C and D, jus...
Henna Alcoholic Sex Offender Mental Disorder
  04/30/21
As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car dri...
Orchid free-loading locus crotch
  05/02/21
Quick fixxx
judgmental mad cow disease
  02/25/22
“As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a ...
Charismatic indirect expression scourge upon the earth
  04/30/21
...
jet medicated stage gay wizard
  04/30/21
i thought about breaking it up -- it worse because it puts e...
Dull Bawdyhouse
  04/30/21
Ah m, okay. For some reason I assumed that D was the main pe...
Charismatic indirect expression scourge upon the earth
  04/30/21
C and D are both involved. I continue to use the term "...
Dull Bawdyhouse
  04/30/21
"at this time" ROFL
Orange glittery parlor
  04/30/21
Need to clarify at some point whether A or B were actually d...
Wonderful maroon turdskin trump supporter
  04/30/21
Yeah I just worked with the isolated sentence in question b/...
Charismatic indirect expression scourge upon the earth
  04/30/21
You can do it in another sentence, but it's going to be impo...
Wonderful maroon turdskin trump supporter
  04/30/21
While driving in the X area, A & B passed a car that C w...
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  04/30/21
...
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As A and B were driving separately in the X area, they passe...
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This suggestion isn't meant to be used word for word, just g...
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...
Dull Bawdyhouse
  04/30/21
...
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...
Twisted onyx center
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Very clear, no ambiguity, reads like 1st order logic, I like...
Deep Site
  05/04/22
As A and B entered the X area, they looked at each other, an...
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  04/30/21
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FRIENDLESS FAGGOT BIRDSHIT A was driving some FAGgOt BIRdshi...
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As A and B were sucking each other’s cocks in the XXX ...
supple milky sanctuary nowag
  04/30/21
i think you nailed it.
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...
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i hope everyone appreciates the mental illness being perform...
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A and B passed D and C, who was driving.
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...
beady-eyed locale
  04/30/21
sounds like a riddle
Orange glittery parlor
  04/30/21
i hate this crap As A and B were driving in the X area, t...
Light Sick Cruise Ship
  04/30/21
i wish this works and it sounds nice but it seems slightly o...
Dull Bawdyhouse
  04/30/21
As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed by D (who...
Light Sick Cruise Ship
  04/30/21
doesn't it need "D's car"
Dull Bawdyhouse
  04/30/21
it says he was driving, which means an automobile. if y...
Light Sick Cruise Ship
  04/30/21
Why do you need B, assuming A was driving. Don't say B was ...
Wonderful maroon turdskin trump supporter
  04/30/21
you have to make it more exciting. keep the reader interest...
Cordovan weed whacker
  04/30/21
Were A and B both at the wheel?
Bateful cyan pozpig
  04/30/21
turns out it was a tandem bicycle.
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  04/30/21
...
beady-eyed locale
  04/30/21
As some faggot and his friend were driving in the restricted...
electric sooty cuckoldry
  04/30/21
The two cars passed in X. In one, A was driving B. In the ot...
Buck-toothed Range
  04/30/21
star crossed lovers. reads like brokeback mountain
exciting factory reset button public bath
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still the best way to do it. He has more than a handful of i...
Buck-toothed Range
  04/30/21
...
Charismatic indirect expression scourge upon the earth
  04/30/21
Okay? Wow. Hey. Picture this: Cars A and B. Right? Going thr...
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...
Metal address
  04/30/21
A and B, as was their custom from time to time, were engaged...
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greedy trust fund
  02/22/22
So, we need to talk about A driving around with B. Here's th...
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  04/30/21
400 km/h, 450 km/h, 500 km/h, 550 km/h; A could feel the for...
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I just copied this from a brief.
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180
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Each of A and B were driving in AREA. They both passed a car...
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A and B passed a car driven by C, who was transporting D as ...
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two people, a & b, drove past c driving with d in his ca...
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C and his passenger D were traveling in X area. A overtook a...
red state
  04/30/21
As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car dri...
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Haven’t read any of the replies, so someone else may h...
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  04/30/21
Did you try the hydro hack?
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  04/30/21
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Flesh sickened nursing home
  04/30/21
Just write in the active voice with short simple sentences, ...
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A and B saw C driving in X
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andy and brad were driving around brooklyn when they passed ...
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Effete talented set kitty cat
  04/30/21
great thread
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  04/30/21
Shitty writing is putting too much into one sentence. A and...
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  04/30/21
A and C, drivers, were in different cars, driving through ar...
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Where are we on this? Thank
misunderstood garnet quadroon menage
  05/02/21
As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car dri...
greedy trust fund
  02/22/22
OP, does this help?
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Poast new message in this thread



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:48 AM
Author: Dull Bawdyhouse

As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car driven by C and containing D as a passenger.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id#42376133)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:57 AM
Author: Orange glittery parlor

"C was seen driving in the X area, with D as a passenger, by both A and B."

(no one gives a fuck whether A and B were driving or doing a standing 69 at the time they saw these faggots)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id#42376836)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 12:01 PM
Author: Wonderful maroon turdskin trump supporter

they do if its an auto case. Contrib or comparative play a role potentially. Better to keep it clean.



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id#42376873)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 2:10 PM
Author: Henna Alcoholic Sex Offender Mental Disorder

Your sentence doesn't even say that A and B saw C and D, just that they passed them.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id#42377665)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 2nd, 2021 12:40 PM
Author: Orchid free-loading locus crotch

As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car driven by C which contained D as a passenger.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id#42386999)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 25th, 2022 1:42 PM
Author: judgmental mad cow disease
Subject: Quick fixxx

As A and B were driving in X, they passed a car driven by C containing D as a passenger.

EDIT: LMAO at the date

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id#44032731)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:52 AM
Author: Charismatic indirect expression scourge upon the earth

“As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car driven by C. D was a passenger in C’s car at the time.”

Would break up the sentences. Your original sentence isn’t terrible though.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id#42376145)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:53 AM
Author: jet medicated stage gay wizard



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id#42376148)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:55 AM
Author: Dull Bawdyhouse

i thought about breaking it up -- it worse because it puts emphasis on "D was a passenger in C’s car at this time" -- which is a minor detail.

it doesn't really matter whether C or D is the driver.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id#42376159)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:56 AM
Author: Charismatic indirect expression scourge upon the earth

Ah m, okay. For some reason I assumed that D was the main person.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id#42376166)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:03 AM
Author: Dull Bawdyhouse

C and D are both involved. I continue to use the term "C's car" for clarity

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id#42376201)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:51 AM
Author: Orange glittery parlor

"at this time"

ROFL

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id#42376807)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:54 AM
Author: Wonderful maroon turdskin trump supporter

Need to clarify at some point whether A or B were actually driving. Or were they in two separate cars, both of which passed C.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id#42376155)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:55 AM
Author: Charismatic indirect expression scourge upon the earth

Yeah I just worked with the isolated sentence in question b/c I didn’t know what the surrounding sentences are like.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id#42376160)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:04 AM
Author: Wonderful maroon turdskin trump supporter

You can do it in another sentence, but it's going to be important to be clear who was driving in the passing car.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id#42376205)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:55 AM
Author: Ungodly den generalized bond

While driving in the X area, A & B passed a car that C was driving with a passenger, D.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id#42376157)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:57 AM
Author: rambunctious overrated personal credit line church



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id#42376168)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:58 AM
Author: Mewling regret school cafeteria

As A and B were driving separately in the X area, they passed a car driven by C which contained D as a passenger.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id#42376174)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:59 AM
Author: misunderstood garnet quadroon menage

This suggestion isn't meant to be used word for word, just generally to give you the right idea on how to handle this sort of thing, please develop as part of an exercise in your own development as a lawyer. Really need to break this into clauses that explain everything.

As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car driven by C and containing D as a passenger.

WHEREAS A, B, C, and D are human persons domiciled in Jurisdiction Y

WHEREAS X is a certain area in Jurisdiction Y

WHEREAS A, B, and C are legally authorized to operate motor vehicles ("cars" and each individual such vehicle a "car")

WHEREAS on that certain date, A, B, and C were operating cars.

WHEREAS on that certain date, D was a passenger in the car operated by C.

Now, therefore be it resolved, on that certain date, the aforementioned cars traversed on intersecting paths in Area X.

[I assume by "passed" you mean "passed" as in "they passed by each other while headed in different directions," revise if you mean they were going the same way and A/B's cars passed/overtook C's car.]

Please handle and recirculate, thanks.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id#42376176)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:03 AM
Author: Dull Bawdyhouse



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id#42376203)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:45 AM
Author: Flesh sickened nursing home



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id#42376392)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:08 AM
Author: Pungent famous landscape painting



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id#42376526)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:25 AM
Author: Twisted onyx center



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id#42376657)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 4th, 2022 12:40 PM
Author: Deep Site

Very clear, no ambiguity, reads like 1st order logic, I like it.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id#44453959)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:59 AM
Author: motley chestnut dopamine stead

As A and B entered the X area, they looked at each other, and although none of them said a word, they understood each other perfectly. It was X area after all. Are there any Xs around, they wondered? They passed a beaten-up vehicle with ridiculous oversized chromed wheels with C as a driver and D as a passenger. X's! - thought A and B. C and D did not think anything. They were high.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id#42376178)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:36 AM
Author: Metal address



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id#42376332)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:37 AM
Author: Avocado Razzmatazz Property Preventive Strike



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id#42376340)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:59 AM
Author: Ruby Concupiscible Box Office

FRIENDLESS FAGGOT BIRDSHIT A was driving some FAGgOt BIRdshit car alone(some other NIFmGGA was drivomg alone in another car) they passed ALPHA TURD C , who has MANY DRINKING BUDDIES, SO NATURALLY HAD A PASSENGER (most likely an AZNgirl getting wet for MAMMOTH TURDCOCK)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id#42376183)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:00 AM
Author: supple milky sanctuary nowag



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id#42376187)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:01 AM
Author: misunderstood garnet quadroon menage



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id#42376195)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:18 AM
Author: electric sooty cuckoldry



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id#42376249)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:47 AM
Author: ebony location



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id#42376406)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 11:36 AM
Author: very tactful telephone



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id#42376713)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:37 AM
Author: Flesh sickened nursing home



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id#42376724)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 12:32 PM
Author: Passionate Boltzmann



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id#42377057)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 1st, 2021 12:19 AM
Author: supple milky sanctuary nowag



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id#42380818)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:59 AM
Author: supple milky sanctuary nowag

As A and B were sucking each other’s cocks in the XXX area, C drove by with D cumming in his ass.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id#42376184)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:00 AM
Author: jet medicated stage gay wizard

i think you nailed it.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id#42376191)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 3:36 PM
Author: Irate sweet tailpipe



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id#42378174)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:00 AM
Author: jet medicated stage gay wizard

i hope everyone appreciates the mental illness being performed right now.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id#42376189)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:28 AM
Author: Ultramarine stimulating trailer park



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id#42376669)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:01 AM
Author: exciting factory reset button public bath

A and B passed D and C, who was driving.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id#42376194)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:37 AM
Author: beady-eyed locale



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id#42376341)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:52 AM
Author: Orange glittery parlor

sounds like a riddle

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id#42376816)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:01 AM
Author: Light Sick Cruise Ship

i hate this crap

As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed by D driving with C.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id#42376197)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:05 AM
Author: Dull Bawdyhouse

i wish this works and it sounds nice but it seems slightly off

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id#42376206)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:06 AM
Author: Light Sick Cruise Ship

As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed by D (who was driving with C).

This is it

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id#42376211)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:07 AM
Author: Dull Bawdyhouse

doesn't it need "D's car"

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id#42376216)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:42 AM
Author: Light Sick Cruise Ship

it says he was driving, which means an automobile.

if you think specifying what kind of automobile is a key detail then can add that

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id#42376370)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:05 AM
Author: Wonderful maroon turdskin trump supporter

Why do you need B, assuming A was driving. Don't say B was driving. Ever. If he wasnt.

As A was driving, they passed ...

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id#42376208)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:06 AM
Author: Cordovan weed whacker

you have to make it more exciting. keep the reader interested.

"Where did this take place? In X. And what happened in X? A and B were together in a car. And what did that car do? Why it passed by another car, a car driven by C. And was C alone in that second car? No, no C was not. C was with D. That's right. A and B passed C and D. It's all true."

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id#42376212)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:08 AM
Author: Bateful cyan pozpig

Were A and B both at the wheel?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id#42376217)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:13 AM
Author: jet medicated stage gay wizard

turns out it was a tandem bicycle.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id#42376233)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:20 AM
Author: beady-eyed locale



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id#42376607)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:18 AM
Author: electric sooty cuckoldry

As some faggot and his friend were driving in the restricted area, they passed a car driven by a nigger and containing some other faggot as a passenger. Regards, I hope this helps.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id#42376246)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:26 AM
Author: Buck-toothed Range

The two cars passed in X. In one, A was driving B. In the other, C was driving D.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id#42376290)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:29 AM
Author: exciting factory reset button public bath

star crossed lovers. reads like brokeback mountain

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id#42376306)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:31 AM
Author: Buck-toothed Range

still the best way to do it. He has more than a handful of items to hit: location, two cars, who was each driver and who was each passenger, that they passed.

This does it and leaves no uncertainty at all

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id#42376317)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:34 AM
Author: Charismatic indirect expression scourge upon the earth



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id#42376330)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:35 AM
Author: Avocado Razzmatazz Property Preventive Strike

Okay? Wow. Hey. Picture this: Cars A and B. Right? Going through section X. *makes large "X" using forearms* And boom! Right there, they pass car C. *makes "C" using hand* A car which, at the time, was containing D *unzips pants* as a passenger. *pulls cock out of fly* Any questions?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id#42376331)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:37 AM
Author: Metal address



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id#42376336)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 10:40 AM
Author: laughsome citrine french chef indian lodge

A and B, as was their custom from time to time, were engaged in that most fanciful of modern hobbies, navigation of modern paved roads in a device propelled by an internal combustion engine, whence, they happened to pass by and through the X area. It was delightful that time of year and a welcome respite from their usual tiresome surroundings. And, as fate or chance, or even perhaps the Muses had it, another fellow engaged in the very same hobby happened by. Of course, known to them, and combustion engine navigators the State over, twas C along with D. Both were fair fellows and known to A and B. As custom would insist they happened both to notice and acknowledge each other, hobbyists in the same pursuit as they were.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id#42376358)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 22nd, 2022 10:09 AM
Author: greedy trust fund



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id#44008930)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:44 AM
Author: cerebral unholy garrison round eye

So, we need to talk about A driving around with B. Here's the thing: they were in X area, and what's problematic is they passed by C—yes, THAT C. C had a passenger at the time, D. Here's why that's not okay.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id#42376389)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:45 AM
Author: Big selfie

400 km/h, 450 km/h, 500 km/h, 550 km/h; A could feel the force of the acceleration pressing him against the sport bucket seats of his Turbo Allegra Mk. 2, their soft, well-sourced alcantara cosseting his tightly leather chapped legs, the micromechanical motors within instantaneously adjusting to each minor perturbation in the vehicle's three-axis orientation to keep him perfectly balanced, its SWIFT systems scanning kilometers ahead of them in real-time and predictively modulating the various electromagnetic and anti-kinetic shielding systems in order to protect their passage as they rocketed upward toward the gateway to area X--area X, the Sacred Seat of Cybernetic Heaven, its secrets whispering to the hovels of his birthplace below, beckoning brave boys with the Siren Song: "Come, Unlock Our Treasurehosue of Wonder or Die Trying"; "It's a goddamn marvel--" that was B, his copilot jockey, in the seat beside him--he'd always liked the tech stuff, engineered things were his jig and jive and the natural knack he'd expressed for them had been evident since his Fourth Year when he'd spontaneously programmed a molecular excavator during off time while the rest of the class was at the playground; he and B had been practicing for this for over three years, secretive sessions when the sensor rings slipped from alignment every third week on Sunday for maintena--"we have a fucking BOGEY at 3 o'clock HIGH!" B screamed, interrupting his meditation on the past--the systems of the Allegra were fast, but B was faster and he'd spotted the incoming a split second before the computerized indication of the same: "Warning, SWIFT has detected an intrusion in the third--" he cut off the computer; he knew what he needed to know: C was moving to intercept them in his Outrigger, accompanied by D; they'd planned for this eventuality, both the conflict itself and the psychology of facing your own brother and cousin 45 kilometers up in the air, each precise maneuver tiptoeing on the razor thin edge between life and death, a minute miscalculation capable of throwing you off the wrong side into a fiery midair death--there was something poignant about it, the notion that he could die up here in an instant and to his friends and family in the warrens of Bressville below, toiling through their daily tasks with no comprehension of the enormous aerial pageantry above them, his life could blot out with no greater signifier than a vanishing spot of light in the sky; he banished the thought of this and other things as he shouted in the cockpit "let's smoke these fuckers" and pushed down hard on the throttle, the frame of the Allegra bending, straining, complying with the command as they soared to meet the enemy head on, he and B laughing aloud at the thrill of it all.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id#42376393)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:47 AM
Author: cerebral unholy garrison round eye

Wow

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id#42376411)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:49 AM
Author: Big selfie

I just copied this from a brief.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id#42376419)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:15 AM
Author: ebony location



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id#42376574)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:54 AM
Author: Wonderful maroon turdskin trump supporter

Your stuff is the only stuff from here I share w my wife. Every time, I explain that "It's just lawyers--we get bored at work--yeah, I know, that's what makes it funny--"

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id#42376824)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 1:21 PM
Author: Stirring fluffy hall



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id#42377415)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 22nd, 2022 10:00 AM
Author: Idiotic Private Investor Resort



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id#44008886)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 22nd, 2022 9:32 AM
Author: Bearded point incel



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id#44722509)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:51 AM
Author: rambunctious overrated personal credit line church



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id#42376432)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:05 AM
Author: beady-eyed locale

titcr.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id#42376504)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:10 AM
Author: Stirring fluffy hall

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id#42376531)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:18 AM
Author: Flesh sickened nursing home



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id#42376589)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:23 AM
Author: Irate sweet tailpipe



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id#42376641)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:24 AM
Author: Idiotic Private Investor Resort

holy shit

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id#42376648)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:34 AM
Author: Flesh sickened nursing home

attn low attention span poasters read this whole thing pls

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id#42376708)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 1:13 PM
Author: exciting factory reset button public bath

how

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id#42377366)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 22nd, 2022 9:36 AM
Author: Passionate Boltzmann



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id#44722527)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:35 AM
Author: misunderstood garnet quadroon menage



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id#42376711)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 12:00 PM
Author: adventurous digit ratio shrine



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id#42376866)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 12:01 PM
Author: Demanding Dun Toilet Seat Meetinghouse



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id#42376872)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 3:27 PM
Author: Irate sweet tailpipe



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id#42378128)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 1st, 2021 9:20 PM
Author: adventurous digit ratio shrine



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id#42558237)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 22nd, 2022 10:00 AM
Author: Idiotic Private Investor Resort



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id#44008882)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 22nd, 2022 10:05 AM
Author: adventurous digit ratio shrine

this is incredible

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id#44008910)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 25th, 2022 1:39 PM
Author: Idiotic Private Investor Resort



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id#44032706)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 4th, 2022 12:31 PM
Author: turquoise flirting macaca



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id#44453902)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 22nd, 2022 9:31 AM
Author: Bearded point incel

wow

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id#44722507)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 22nd, 2022 9:34 AM
Author: Stirring fluffy hall



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id#44722517)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 22nd, 2022 9:44 AM
Author: hot doctorate



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id#44722548)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:49 AM
Author: yellow whorehouse

High | level | legal work

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id#42376422)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:28 AM
Author: Ultramarine stimulating trailer park



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id#42376672)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:55 AM
Author: Provocative Tantric Therapy Foreskin

Each of A and B were driving in AREA. They both passed a car driven by C with D as a passenger.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id#42376456)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:05 AM
Author: hideous brilliant toaster stain

A and B passed a car driven by C, who was transporting D as a passenger, as they drove through the X area.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id#42376505)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:07 AM
Author: Aphrodisiac coral heaven striped hyena

two people, a & b, drove past c driving with d in his car.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id#42376517)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 11:13 AM
Author: red state

C and his passenger D were traveling in X area. A overtook and passed them. B overtook and passed them too.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id#42376555)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:19 AM
Author: Fiercely-loyal Internet-worthy Athletic Conference

As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car driven by C, which contained D as a passenger.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id#42376600)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:24 AM
Author: Bat shit crazy thirsty tanning salon

Haven’t read any of the replies, so someone else may have made the same suggestion, but I’d go with:

While driving in the X area, A & B passed a car containing C (driver) and D (passenger).

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id#42376651)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:27 AM
Author: Irate sweet tailpipe

This was basically gromjoh's poast above except his was more concise.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id#42376665)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:34 AM
Author: Idiotic Private Investor Resort



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id#42376704)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:40 AM
Author: misunderstood garnet quadroon menage



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id#42376736)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 2:08 PM
Author: Big selfie



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id#42377648)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 22nd, 2022 10:01 AM
Author: Idiotic Private Investor Resort



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id#44008887)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:33 AM
Author: spectacular crimson giraffe

writing MFE's, any resources on improving clunky writing? I recently jumped from GOV to tech

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id#42376695)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:33 AM
Author: misunderstood garnet quadroon menage

Did you try the hydro hack?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id#42376699)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:40 AM
Author: Thriller brass theater stage mother

What’s that

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id#42376738)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:41 AM
Author: misunderstood garnet quadroon menage

You should drink more water, you're probably dehydrated. This will, among other things, improve cognitive function and therefore improve your writing. While you're at it also check your posture I bet you're slouching right now.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id#42376746)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:49 AM
Author: Flesh sickened nursing home



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id#42376800)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 1:17 PM
Author: saffron drunken university tattoo

Just write in the active voice with short simple sentences, subject verb object. Not hard

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id#42377389)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 1:16 PM
Author: saffron drunken university tattoo

A and B saw C driving in X

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id#42377381)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 1:28 PM
Author: amber cumskin native

andy and brad were driving around brooklyn when they passed carl and dave in their car.

this doesn't define who is driving and who is riding though.



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id#42377449)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 1:38 PM
Author: Effete talented set kitty cat

I am gay

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id#42377484)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 3:36 PM
Author: Irate sweet tailpipe

great thread

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id#42378176)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 3:39 PM
Author: diverse goal in life

Shitty writing is putting too much into one sentence.

A and B were driving in the X area. [query: are they both driving separate cars?] C driving D passed them.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id#42378186)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 8:29 PM
Author: Cordovan weed whacker

A and C, drivers, were in different cars, driving through area X, and with them were B and D, passengers; B was with A while D was with C; A and B passed by C and D.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id#42379691)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 2nd, 2021 12:50 PM
Author: Cordovan weed whacker



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id#42387061)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 23rd, 2021 3:44 PM
Author: Cordovan weed whacker



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id#42509184)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 2nd, 2021 12:36 PM
Author: misunderstood garnet quadroon menage

Where are we on this? Thank

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id#42386977)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 22nd, 2022 10:06 AM
Author: greedy trust fund

As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car driven by C in which D was a passenger.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id#44008916)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 25th, 2022 1:44 PM
Author: Orange glittery parlor

OP, does this help?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id#44032743)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 22nd, 2022 9:32 AM
Author: Yapping ticket booth pocket flask

i don't think anyone reads shitlaw shitpaper so it doesn't matter. aren't state court judges borderline retarded?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id#44722512)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 19th, 2026 12:23 PM
Author: Pet Relief Area



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id#49827186)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 19th, 2026 12:42 PM
Author: UN peacekeeper

"and containing D as" -> "in which D was", otherwise fine

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id#49827205)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 19th, 2026 1:15 PM
Author: hmmm i think weather is fraudlies

Lots of helpful suggestions in this thread but I’m not sure we’ve got it figured out just yet. Let’s put a pin in it and move on. OP: what’s the next sentence?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id#49827228)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 19th, 2026 2:57 PM
Author: Pet Relief Area



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id#49827363)