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PROTIP: use "Websters dictionary defines..." to start ur closing

It has a reputation now as this hackneyed expression, which ...
Burgundy deer antler dopamine
  04/24/15
...
racy nursing home gaping
  04/24/15
...
Nubile office
  04/24/15
...
Cruel-hearted Talented Incel Goyim
  04/24/15
did this today
Passionate Flesh Theater Mad Cow Disease
  10/22/15
"A lot changed on 9/11..."
cerise hell love of her life
  10/22/15
(guy who wrote a great college essay)
Turquoise deep senate place of business
  10/22/15
"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury..." *briefcase f...
fluffy garrison wrinkle
  10/22/15
...
internet-worthy church building ape
  10/22/15
...
Razzle cordovan multi-billionaire
  10/08/25
(high school debate semifinalist)
copper mental disorder
  10/22/15
...
Burgundy deer antler dopamine
  05/16/16
who the fuck was webster
pungent dragon school cafeteria
  05/16/16
Noah Webster. Just some autistic bro who really liked words
Burgundy deer antler dopamine
  05/16/16
whats his moniker
pungent dragon school cafeteria
  05/16/16
CharlesXII
Burgundy deer antler dopamine
  05/16/16
...
hilarious adventurous rigpig
  12/28/16
180 advice it will hit the jury like some sort of heavy book...
lavender business firm twinkling uncleanness
  12/28/16
"Urban dictionary defines 'STAY WOKE' as . . . "
Cobalt Gunner Stage
  12/28/16
...
hilarious adventurous rigpig
  11/11/20
...
cowardly headpube
  07/26/24
...
Salmon Disturbing Gay Wizard Point
  10/08/25
...
MAHA Movement
  11/09/25


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Date: April 24th, 2015 2:57 PM
Author: Burgundy deer antler dopamine

It has a reputation now as this hackneyed expression, which is why it WORKS. The jury always perks up because it's so unexpected. Also it frames the issue very clearly: this is the plain definition, here are the facts, the facts don't match the accusation, acquittal. I literally bring a well-worn old dictionary and thump it onto the jury railing.

Prosecutors get flustered as FUCK and end up reacting to me rather than making their own case, and it makes them look gay as hell. They smirk or scoff, which makes them look like douches. They usually take time in their own closings to say something about "the defense counsel's old tricks and theatrics" but that just reminds the jury even more.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2...id.#27751704)



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Date: April 24th, 2015 3:13 PM
Author: racy nursing home gaping



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2...id.#27751815)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 24th, 2015 3:17 PM
Author: Nubile office



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2...id.#27751846)



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Date: April 24th, 2015 3:26 PM
Author: Cruel-hearted Talented Incel Goyim



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2...id.#27751921)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 1:59 PM
Author: Passionate Flesh Theater Mad Cow Disease

did this today

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2...id.#29022119)



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Date: October 22nd, 2015 3:23 PM
Author: cerise hell love of her life

"A lot changed on 9/11..."

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2...id.#29022597)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 3:24 PM
Author: Turquoise deep senate place of business

(guy who wrote a great college essay)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2...id.#29022604)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 3:25 PM
Author: fluffy garrison wrinkle

"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury..." *briefcase full of dictionaries falls open*

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2...id.#29022609)



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Date: October 22nd, 2015 3:31 PM
Author: internet-worthy church building ape



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2...id.#29022646)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 8th, 2025 8:52 PM
Author: Razzle cordovan multi-billionaire



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2...id.#49335488)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 22nd, 2015 3:33 PM
Author: copper mental disorder

(high school debate semifinalist)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2...id.#29022657)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 16th, 2016 7:19 PM
Author: Burgundy deer antler dopamine



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2...id.#30492581)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 16th, 2016 7:20 PM
Author: pungent dragon school cafeteria

who the fuck was webster

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2...id.#30492585)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 16th, 2016 7:25 PM
Author: Burgundy deer antler dopamine

Noah Webster. Just some autistic bro who really liked words

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2...id.#30492630)



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Date: May 16th, 2016 7:27 PM
Author: pungent dragon school cafeteria

whats his moniker

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2...id.#30492644)



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Date: May 16th, 2016 7:37 PM
Author: Burgundy deer antler dopamine

CharlesXII

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2...id.#30492706)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 28th, 2016 5:17 PM
Author: hilarious adventurous rigpig



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2...id.#32250208)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 28th, 2016 5:18 PM
Author: lavender business firm twinkling uncleanness

180 advice it will hit the jury like some sort of heavy book!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2...id.#32250216)



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Date: December 28th, 2016 5:20 PM
Author: Cobalt Gunner Stage

"Urban dictionary defines 'STAY WOKE' as . . . "

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2...id.#32250229)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 11th, 2020 11:38 PM
Author: hilarious adventurous rigpig



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2...id.#41347456)



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Date: July 26th, 2024 1:08 PM
Author: cowardly headpube



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2...id.#47895234)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 8th, 2025 8:51 PM
Author: Salmon Disturbing Gay Wizard Point



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2...id.#49335487)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 9th, 2025 11:23 AM
Author: MAHA Movement



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2...id.#49414142)