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told female friend tonight how much i wanted to eat her out...

Date: August 22nd, 2007 2:55 AM Author: Bristol Palin's ret...
flushed brunch
  10/15/14
...
onyx candlestick maker
  10/15/14
Well must say, that rapist wit and aggression took me by sur...
Bat-shit-crazy Bisexual Parlour
  10/15/14
I forgot the origin of the "phone pee dialed for 911&qu...
fluffy church
  10/15/14
sooo good
flushed brunch
  10/15/14
dvp needs to chronicle his social interactions in long form ...
White cerebral athletic conference
  10/15/14
Always great
ruddy selfie
  10/15/14
...
flushed brunch
  10/17/14
!!!
fragrant market
  10/17/14
wtf
Puce gunner marketing idea
  10/17/14
This is embarrassing
talented stead windowlicker
  10/17/14
fuck this is so good. would read again. was momentarily comp...
Insecure Space Friendly Grandma
  10/17/14
I thought this was lost to the ages. A spectacularly unique ...
Fishy Cocky Sweet Tailpipe New Version
  10/17/14
yeah, I've wanted to read this for so long. OP does good wor...
Crystalline Drunken Indian Lodge
  10/17/14
thanks!! also been tryna spread this one if u haven't seen ...
flushed brunch
  10/17/14
can you find ari "the schnoz" goldberg and madelin...
canary business firm
  11/05/14
I kind of miss when "loserfucker" was part of bort...
emerald trailer park prole
  10/17/14
...
Crystalline Drunken Indian Lodge
  10/26/14
...
vivacious pervert cuck
  10/26/14
...
flushed brunch
  11/05/14
Holy shit, this is one of the first posts I remember reading...
embarrassed to the bone hall mental disorder
  11/05/14
Where's the follow up poast where he fucks her ragged the wh...
Beady-eyed abode
  11/05/14
oh ho!
Pink love of her life
  11/05/14
my favorite line
Flirting milky university
  06/08/26
never caught this one until now. thnx.
irradiated dark sanctuary potus
  11/05/14
...
chartreuse legal warrant weed whacker
  06/06/20
...
flushed brunch
  02/11/22
...
Carmine cruise ship
  03/05/22
tyft
Harsh trump supporter
  03/05/22
...
flushed brunch
  06/08/26
Important bump
bearded hairraiser property
  06/08/26
...
flushed brunch
  06/08/26
Bristol Palin’s retarded incest baby was a 1800000 mon...
Insanely Creepy Floppy Spot Dragon
  06/08/26
...
flushed brunch
  06/10/26
I wonder what he's up to now
fluffy church
  06/10/26
playing with his shoelaces and chewing on his tongue
Racy menage
  06/10/26
Bristol's kid just turned 16, looks like he's ready for ince...
Aromatic chestnut crotch resort
  06/10/26
I suspect that was gunnerattt tp
Cracking nursing home faggotry
  06/10/26
...
Cowardly plaza
  06/10/26
...
comical milk
  06/10/26
I find something new in this magnum opus each time. Central ...
Aromatic chestnut crotch resort
  06/10/26
the craziness of central african nations had me lollercausti...
yellow supple institution
  06/10/26


Poast new message in this thread



Reply Favorite

Date: October 15th, 2014 6:43 AM
Author: flushed brunch

Date: August 22nd, 2007 2:55 AM

Author: Bristol Palin's retarded incest baby (You keep calling me Babu. It's Singh, mother fucker.)

though i certainly intended to flirt with her, i had not seriously considered telling her that i fantasized about eating her out ( which i do) it just came up.

see she was talking to me about this loserfuck ( she actually did call him a loser) she is obsessed with for reasons she herself does not understand. he is some low level officer in the navy while she is off to the peace corps in february. she is obsessed with him but according to her he doesn't give a crap about her, just using her as a convenient booty call. she told me the guy was so vapid and beneath her and low class and emotionally cold and yada yada but that she couldn't stop thinking about him and obsessing over him etc.

she asks me what she should do and i just tell her not to get too emotional or romantic about him, since the peace corps will end all chance for a relationship and probably change the very things she finds attractive in a man.

Now at this point in time i am thinking my friend's attachment to this douche is physical. she is VERY sexual, the relationship she describes sounds like a fuck buddy relationship gone complicated, and in my head i am imagining a buff navy jock.

so i add....." if the fucking is good just use him as a living dildo ..." but the fucking ISN'T good" she exclaims . what to do you mean i ask " he doesn't care about me , even in bed he is a very selfish lover"

Now i am a virgin, but i am pretty aware of what this phrase means. not only that, but i am aware my friend loves to get eaten out, how do i know this? because she has a guide to eating out pussy on her fucking myspace. its literally the first thing you see, and its been there for at least a year.

"so he doesn''t go down on you " i tell her. she looks slightly shocked." well i know you like to get eaten out since you have a guide for it on your myspace"

she starts laughing, but after a bit she looks at me and she sya " i do love it" she says , and blushes. " he never doesit " she complains. well why would he, if he knows he can just fuck you ?

" yeah he doesn't even have to ask we just get alone and im on him,but it sucks every time!"

now this entire conversation i have had my left arm over her shoulders, this conversation has taken place in the form of conspiratorial whispers in each others ears. at this point in time i lean in. " you know that time we went dancing at passion and you had that black skirt on" " yeah" only then did i notice you have great legs ( she laughs) ever since then i have wanted to eat you out,( oh ho! she says) you don't have to do anything ( Noo she says and starts slowlly but firmly pushing me away with both hands) " you don't have to do anything just lie there and enjoy and of course tell me what yu want ( she keeps pushing me slowly away) " i won't even take off my clothes, ill put a cell phone in your hand so you can call the cops if i dosomething you don't want" ( at this point she says my name and says no firmly.)

I look at her for twenty or so seconds and then say " allright" I scoot away so there is a good 30 inches of space separating us. the next couple of minutes are somewhat awkward. but Ten minutes later we are talking like NOTHING happened.

we then continued a series of raucus and interesting conversations, even returning to the navy guy, but also discussing the peace corps the imminent start for law school for me , the craziness of central african nations. we talked for another THREE AND A HALF hours after my very explicit comeon and there was no akwardness or sign of damage to our friendhsip.

we are hanging out again on saturday.

oh and the setting was a small bar/restaurant with these little nooks and such.

and for those who are going to tell me that i came on as desperate and that i am FRIENDZONEPWNED be aware i am already aware of this . i am resigned to my fate. she was never long term girlfriend material and icertainly have no romantic feelings towards her.

she is just a funny supercool latina CGWBT. if all i can be with her is friends ill gladly take the friendship.

why can't more girls be like this? THIS is how you turn down a pass, you don't have to go ahead and make the guy asahmed that he has a cock betweeen his legs. my friend was very firm, but she did not make me feel bad or guilty or anything. learn from this girls.

( http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=675218&forum_id=2#8544713 )

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id.#26519775)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 15th, 2014 7:00 AM
Author: onyx candlestick maker



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id.#26519788)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 15th, 2014 8:11 AM
Author: Bat-shit-crazy Bisexual Parlour

Well must say, that rapist wit and aggression took me by surprise.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id.#26519900)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 15th, 2014 8:29 AM
Author: fluffy church

I forgot the origin of the "phone pee dialed for 911" meme, thanks for the reminder. I'll just circle back when I need a quick laugh

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id.#26519953)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 15th, 2014 3:08 PM
Author: flushed brunch

sooo good

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id.#26522226)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 15th, 2014 3:09 PM
Author: White cerebral athletic conference

dvp needs to chronicle his social interactions in long form like this.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id.#26522233)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 15th, 2014 3:16 PM
Author: ruddy selfie

Always great

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id.#26522297)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 17th, 2014 9:30 PM
Author: flushed brunch



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id.#26538501)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 17th, 2014 9:32 PM
Author: fragrant market

!!!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id.#26538515)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 17th, 2014 9:32 PM
Author: Puce gunner marketing idea

wtf

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id.#26538516)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 17th, 2014 9:35 PM
Author: talented stead windowlicker

This is embarrassing

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id.#26538531)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 17th, 2014 9:37 PM
Author: Insecure Space Friendly Grandma

fuck this is so good. would read again. was momentarily completely consumed by this story.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id.#26538541)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 17th, 2014 9:42 PM
Author: Fishy Cocky Sweet Tailpipe New Version

I thought this was lost to the ages. A spectacularly unique post.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id.#26538567)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 17th, 2014 9:45 PM
Author: Crystalline Drunken Indian Lodge

yeah, I've wanted to read this for so long. OP does good work around here.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id.#26538588)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 17th, 2014 9:48 PM
Author: flushed brunch

thanks!! also been tryna spread this one if u haven't seen http://www.xoxohth.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700246&forum_id=2

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id.#26538619)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 5th, 2014 9:23 AM
Author: canary business firm

can you find ari "the schnoz" goldberg and madeline "numbah two" chen?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id.#26653055)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 17th, 2014 9:51 PM
Author: emerald trailer park prole

I kind of miss when "loserfucker" was part of bort lexicon.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id.#26538650)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 26th, 2014 12:26 AM
Author: Crystalline Drunken Indian Lodge



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id.#26587986)



Reply Favorite

Date: October 26th, 2014 12:26 AM
Author: vivacious pervert cuck



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id.#26587988)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 5th, 2014 5:45 AM
Author: flushed brunch



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id.#26652645)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 5th, 2014 10:29 AM
Author: embarrassed to the bone hall mental disorder

Holy shit, this is one of the first posts I remember reading on xo. Getting a little teary eyed here.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id.#26653282)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 5th, 2014 10:31 AM
Author: Beady-eyed abode

Where's the follow up poast where he fucks her ragged the whole weekend?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id.#26653296)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 5th, 2014 11:18 AM
Author: Pink love of her life

oh ho!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id.#26653485)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 8th, 2026 10:16 AM
Author: Flirting milky university

my favorite line

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id.#49922129)



Reply Favorite

Date: November 5th, 2014 11:25 AM
Author: irradiated dark sanctuary potus

never caught this one until now. thnx.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id.#26653508)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 6th, 2020 7:53 PM
Author: chartreuse legal warrant weed whacker



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id.#40365552)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 11th, 2022 10:19 PM
Author: flushed brunch



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id.#43954057)



Reply Favorite

Date: March 5th, 2022 10:05 AM
Author: Carmine cruise ship



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id.#44089135)



Reply Favorite

Date: March 5th, 2022 10:15 AM
Author: Harsh trump supporter

tyft

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id.#44089181)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 8th, 2026 1:20 AM
Author: flushed brunch



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id.#49921834)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 8th, 2026 1:31 AM
Author: bearded hairraiser property

Important bump

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id.#49921844)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 8th, 2026 2:10 PM
Author: flushed brunch



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id.#49922845)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 8th, 2026 2:13 PM
Author: Insanely Creepy Floppy Spot Dragon

Bristol Palin’s retarded incest baby was a 1800000 moniker

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id.#49922870)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2026 1:35 PM
Author: flushed brunch



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id.#49927940)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2026 1:41 PM
Author: fluffy church

I wonder what he's up to now

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id.#49927942)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2026 1:46 PM
Author: Racy menage

playing with his shoelaces and chewing on his tongue

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id.#49927950)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2026 1:53 PM
Author: Aromatic chestnut crotch resort

Bristol's kid just turned 16, looks like he's ready for incest with mama.

https://www.instagram.com/p/DEdwvcZOaqH/?img_index=1

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id.#49927960)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2026 1:57 PM
Author: Cracking nursing home faggotry

I suspect that was gunnerattt tp

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id.#49927967)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2026 11:01 PM
Author: Cowardly plaza



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id.#49929626)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2026 1:44 PM
Author: comical milk



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id.#49927947)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2026 1:47 PM
Author: Aromatic chestnut crotch resort

I find something new in this magnum opus each time. Central African nations. Amazing.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id.#49927953)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 10th, 2026 3:03 PM
Author: yellow supple institution

the craziness of central african nations had me lollercausting hard

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2700247&forum_id=2...id.#49928176)