Girlfriend keeps calling me a whore

I'm just so devastated. I (20F) have been dating her (25F) for about 3 months and she's being so mean to me lately.

I confessed to her that at 15, I had sexual intercourse with a man in his 40s in exchange for heroin and vodka. I was in a desperate place, I wasn't into him, just wanted to harm myself, get high and forget. It was a horrid experience, I was too drugged to even move when it happened, I regretted it and I never had intercourse with a man again. I was so scarred after that I didn't eat for a week and cried every single day for quite a while.

She was sympathetic at first, but then during arguments she started bringing it up and calling me a fake lesbian and a whore because of it. Said I let a man defile me solely for drugs and that was incredibly desperate of me to do. It makes me feel so ashamed as this was a vulnerable thing to share in the first place and it breaks my heart every time she is mean about it.

She not only calls me a whore, but also always accuses me of being a fake homosexual. I felt a lot of shame about my liking of women so I tried dating men twice. I never felt sexual desire towards them, or any romantic attraction. There was one Incel I dated solely out of pity online, nothing sexual even went on there. I immediately stated that I was uncomfortable with it and needed time, but once he started having issues with it, we broke up.

Another time, I dated a man I thought I liked. Even though I found him cool as a person, I didn't feel attraction towards him and every time we kissed I felt defiled and grossed out. I ended up ending it after a week and accepted that I was a homosexual and couldn't deny it anymore.

I do feel insecure about these things I've done with males, but it was a hard journey of self acceptance for me. So being shamed for it hurts me really bad.

She on the other hand is a gold star lesbian who had many girlfriends before me, and she takes pride in it, calls herself pure and all and shames me for the stuff I've done. Or simply tells me I'm bisexual, which I'm not. She always uses it against me in arguments.

I might be dramatic, but this is making me feel so shitty. Being called a whore and a fake, it just makes me feel like I defiled myself and will never be accepted for who I am now. Why does she have to judge me so much? Why can't she just let me be happy with her? We were doing so good before all of this started, I still think she's the love of my life and I wanna marry her. But now she's just hurting me and making my mental issues worse.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5810590&forum_id=2...id.#49511328)