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Non Lawyer here, I don’t get the “No Litigators” joke
Poast new message in this thread
Date: April 4th, 2026 10:36 AM Author: poppy home Aren’t these guys prestigious? They’re the ones who argue in front of SCOTUS right? Why would they be shunned in favor of some paper pushing corporate lawyers (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5853407&forum_id=2...id.#49793111) |
Date: April 4th, 2026 10:56 AM Author: Hairless mewling party of the first part dragon It is impossible for litigators to move in-house. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5853407&forum_id=2...id.#49793136) |
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Date: April 4th, 2026 11:07 AM Author: poppy home why? can't they learn all that in house stuff on the job (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5853407&forum_id=2...id.#49793155) |
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Date: April 4th, 2026 10:58 AM Author: ungodly church building affirmative action found the litigator (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5853407&forum_id=2...id.#49793139) |
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Date: April 4th, 2026 5:26 PM Author: Diverse set national security agency (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5853407&forum_id=2...id.#49793876) |
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Date: April 4th, 2026 5:27 PM Author: Sticky Rebellious Pocket Flask (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5853407&forum_id=2...id.#49793879) |
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Date: April 4th, 2026 11:11 AM Author: Plum Public Bath Wagecucks Doing M&A is like Matching on Match Day. The less “lawyery” the lawyer’s job, the more prestigious and sought-after he is. The litigator has to actually argue things in “court” like a shitlawyer (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5853407&forum_id=2...id.#49793160) |
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Date: April 4th, 2026 11:12 AM Author: pungent state twinkling uncleanness (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5853407&forum_id=2...id.#49793162) |
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Date: April 4th, 2026 11:19 AM Author: poppy home so M&A lawyers are the best? they're like neurosurgeons?
what would litigators be then, internists? |
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Date: April 4th, 2026 11:44 AM Author: Plum Public Bath Wagecucks A lawyer who actually practices law is Scum, not unlike an ER doctor covered in blood and shit and exposed to tons of Viruses constantly saving thousands of lives and making 188k
Fake Jobs are where the money is. An anesthesiologist turning Knobs exquisitely like the conductor of a Symphony. A Dermatologist examining patient phenotypes. A neurosurgeon, yeah, maybe. Also he might get Sued if he fucks the brain up. One wrong move, champ. |
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Date: April 4th, 2026 5:03 PM Author: poppy home what are the best Fake Jobs out there
why isn't litigator considered one |
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Date: April 4th, 2026 5:31 PM Author: Fishy Hot Roommate Talking in court is stressful and involves actual work. Not a true Fake Job. a good Fake Job allows you to pass of your work to an LLM, casually check the work and then inflate your billables by 60% (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5853407&forum_id=2...id.#49793889) |
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Date: April 4th, 2026 5:34 PM Author: poppy home when is being a litigator the right career move? Would David Boies have been better off being an M&A lawyer (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5853407&forum_id=2...id.#49793897) |
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Date: April 4th, 2026 5:35 PM Author: Plum Public Bath Wagecucks Product motherfuckin' Management |
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Date: April 4th, 2026 5:27 PM Author: Diverse set national security agency As a litigator, this is very cr.
Unless you own your own shop, nobody is paying Litigators top dollar for what they do. |
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Date: April 4th, 2026 5:29 PM Author: poppy home what makes litigators successful vs those that dont? doesnt biglaw have litigator partners making millions? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5853407&forum_id=2...id.#49793886) |
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Date: April 4th, 2026 5:35 PM Author: Sticky Rebellious Pocket Flask biglaw is the perfect example of what everyone aspires to be when they take the LSAT but the cold hard truth is akin to George Carlin's giant club that you ain't in. More than half of attorneys are Women and maybe 10% of those women (5% of the total number of LSAT takers) will actually stay in the profession more than 10 years (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5853407&forum_id=2...id.#49793899) |
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Date: April 4th, 2026 5:45 PM Author: Diverse set national security agency Do you realize how much shit you have to eat and then smile for more in order to make it as a partner in BIGLAW?
Then there's the fact that BIGLAW hardly goes to trial. You won't see the inside of a courtroom until you're a mid-level associate, let along actually first chair a case. |
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Date: April 4th, 2026 5:47 PM Author: poppy home a friend of mine spent years as a AUSA then became a biglaw litigator then partner, it doesn't seem as bad as xo makes it out to be (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5853407&forum_id=2...id.#49793924) |
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Date: April 4th, 2026 5:49 PM Author: Diverse set national security agency lol @ AUSA calling themselves "trial lawyers"
Depending on what they do, they aren't seeing a fraction of trial experience as StateBros |
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Date: April 4th, 2026 5:51 PM Author: poppy home ok but my point still stands about their specialization as litigators. this friend worked in the criminal division (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5853407&forum_id=2...id.#49793927) |
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Date: April 4th, 2026 5:51 PM Author: Diverse set national security agency "specialization" in prosecuting:
- kiddie porn-havers; & - convicted felons in possession of firearms
not much heavy lifting. |
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Date: April 4th, 2026 5:53 PM Author: poppy home enough where they got a biglaw job and became partner soon after with mostly AUSA experience (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5853407&forum_id=2...id.#49793933) |
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Date: April 4th, 2026 6:00 PM Author: Diverse set national security agency Yeah, because the only criminal defense BIGLAW does is government investigations and other white collar shit.
Hence, fake jobs. Nobody in BIGLAW is looking for a litigator who has experience handling murders and sexual assaults. |
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Date: April 4th, 2026 6:03 PM Author: poppy home govt investigations and white collar crime pros is a fake job? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5853407&forum_id=2...id.#49793954) |
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Date: April 4th, 2026 6:29 PM Author: Diverse set national security agency "Oh no...we might get hit with fines and an embarrassing press release" (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5853407&forum_id=2...id.#49794012) |
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Date: April 4th, 2026 6:38 PM Author: poppy home *goes to jail for 20 years* (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5853407&forum_id=2...id.#49794034) |
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Date: April 4th, 2026 6:39 PM Author: Diverse set national security agency lol, when as a CorpBro gone to POUNDMYASS State Prison? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5853407&forum_id=2...id.#49794036) |
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Date: April 4th, 2026 6:42 PM Author: poppy home POUNDMYFACE FedPrison
https://www.npr.org/sections/thetwo-way/2010/03/madoff_prison_beating.html |
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Date: April 4th, 2026 6:45 PM Author: Diverse set national security agency You had to go back over 15 fucking years to find a CorpBro who got treated like a Nigga and sent to prison? (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5853407&forum_id=2...id.#49794045) |
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Date: April 4th, 2026 6:49 PM Author: poppy home https://decrypt.co/314424/sbf-victimville-violent-prisons-california (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5853407&forum_id=2...id.#49794052) |
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Date: April 4th, 2026 7:01 PM Author: Sticky Rebellious Pocket Flask don't forget all the white collar crime and gun shit. Oh wow what a DEFENDER OF ARE FREEDOMS: you got 20 years on someone for 3d printing a gun (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5853407&forum_id=2...id.#49794091) |
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Date: April 5th, 2026 1:10 AM Author: Diverse set national security agency (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5853407&forum_id=2...id.#49794782) |
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Date: April 4th, 2026 5:28 PM Author: Sticky Rebellious Pocket Flask Dermatologists should keep pamphlets in their office on Clique Theory like my Chiropractor has for dog chiropractics. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5853407&forum_id=2...id.#49793885) |
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Date: April 4th, 2026 5:35 PM Author: Plum Public Bath Wagecucks Why do some of these Nerds/Losers get acne so bad? Never figured that out. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5853407&forum_id=2...id.#49793900) |
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Date: April 4th, 2026 5:38 PM Author: Sticky Rebellious Pocket Flask it's a causation issue. It's not that Nerd/Losers disproportionately get acne. I'm a Scumgineer and never had acne besides a couple pimples in my teens. I knew kids who looked like their face went through a pizza grater. Phenotype matters here; the acne kids who realize this will usually develop into Nerds. The rest are Losers. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5853407&forum_id=2...id.#49793905) |
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Date: April 4th, 2026 6:42 PM Author: Plum Public Bath Wagecucks Why don’t college athletes have acne
Also NBA seems less bald vs irl if anything |
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Date: April 4th, 2026 7:02 PM Author: Sticky Rebellious Pocket Flask the real question is how many Losers could have become college athletes but didn't because of acne (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5853407&forum_id=2...id.#49794094) |
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Date: April 5th, 2026 11:55 AM Author: Plum Public Bath Wagecucks Losers don’t get disenfranchised bc they suck at sports imo but coaches usually don’t take kindly to Scumjocks, however talented they may be. (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5853407&forum_id=2...id.#49795371) |
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Date: April 4th, 2026 9:14 PM Author: Mahogany Toilet Seat Hell is other litigators (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5853407&forum_id=2...id.#49794377) |
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Date: April 5th, 2026 1:11 AM Author: Diverse set national security agency (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5853407&forum_id=2...id.#49794784) |