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After Years of Friendship, a First Date Wasn’t Necessary

Vows

After Years of Friendship, a First Date Wasn’t Necessary

Janet Mercel and Daniel Wisner’s relationship slowly turned romantic after years of “being best friends,” Mr. Wisner said. “And always wanting the best for one another.”

The groom, left, in an off-white linen jacket, and bride, wearing a sleeveless cream gown, look at each other as a man with a full beard, a step back between them, ties their hands with a brown print silk scarf. A little girl with pigtails, foreground between the couple, looks up at the hand-tying ceremony.

Janet Mercel and Daniel Wisner exchanged vows on June 21 at Podere Ciona, a winery in Gaiole in Chianti, Italy. Justin Wisner, Mr. Wisner’s brother, tied the couple’s hands together using a silk scarf during the ceremony.Credit...Alexandra Capel

By Donna Kim

July 11, 2025

On Oct. 10, 2018, Janet Elizabeth Mercel was running late to a dinner with friends from the fashion and design industry at Tsuru Ton Tan, a Japanese restaurant in Manhattan’s Union Square. The guests were dressed in tailored jackets and fine jewelry; Ms. Mercel, fresh from a long-distance run, showed up in marathon gear and slipped into a seat across from Daniel Matthias Wisner — unaware she had just met the man she would one day marry.

Throughout the evening, Mr. Wisner, his brother, Justin Wisner, and Ms. Mercel talked nonstop about fashion and upstate New York.

“After dinner, I remember wanting to walk Janet to the subway because the three of us had been so engaged in conversation,” Mr. Wisner said. “As we walked away, Justin said to me, ‘You should keep her around. She’s special for you’."

A few days later, Mr. Wisner and Ms. Mercel started texting each other almost every day.

“We loved each other as friends right from the jump,” she said. “While I had no idea we would end up being romantically involved, I always knew he was the person I could talk to about anything.”

Despite their connection, Ms. Mercel, who was raised in Red Hook, N.Y., began a romantic relationship with Ric Pipino, a celebrity hairstylist, and moved to Los Angeles in 2019. They got married in 2020 and welcomed a daughter, Sloane, in 2022.

That same year, in November, Ms. Mercel moved back to New York with Sloane. By June 2023, she and Mr. Pipino had separated. (Their divorce was finalized in March 2024.)

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The groom, left, is arm in arm with the bride, who has several tattoos on her arms, and is seated next to him. Her young daughter, right, in a white floral dress, touches her head.

The couple, pictured with Sloane, had a civil ceremony the month before at City Hall in Manhattan, so that the bride’s mother, who has dementia and is unable to travel, could attend.Credit...Alexandra Capel

That summer, Ms. Mercel, now 42, and Mr. Wisner, now 33, experienced a shift in their friendship. By July, they were a couple.

“There was no first date. If we were going to do this, we were going to get married,” Mr. Wisner said. “We both understood the depth of the commitment ahead, not just to each other, but to Sloane, too,” he said. The couple moved in together in September 2023, in Prospect Heights, Brooklyn.

Ms. Mercel holds jobs at multiple magazines — as the executive editor of Avenue, the editor in chief of DVEight and the senior editor at Upstate Woman. She attended Bard College and is currently pursuing a master of fine arts in creative nonfiction at Bennington College. Mr. Wisner is a jewelry designer in New York and founder of a namesake line.

During this time, they visited Ms. Mercel’s parents almost weekly. Over time, she began to notice subtle changes in her mother’s behavior. In March 2024, Vicki Lee Capel, who was 72 at the time, was diagnosed with Lewy body dementia.

Mr. Wisner, whose grandmother had dementia and died when he was 16, provided calm and familiarity amid uncertainty. “Daniel was intuitively able to connect with her even when she wasn’t fully herself anymore,” Ms. Mercel said. In July, during one of their visits when Mr. Wisner was present, Ms. Capel didn’t seem to realize that he and Ms. Mercel were romantically involved, but she told her daughter that he was “beautiful” and “kind” and that she felt safe with him in their family.

Binge more Vows columns here and read all our wedding, relationship and divorce coverage here.

On Sept. 2, 2023, during her birthday trip to her late grandmother’s home in Gloucester, Mass., Ms. Mercel received a custom lemniscate ring from Mr. Wisner — a symbol of infinity and a promise to her and her daughter. It wasn’t a formal proposal, but it marked the moment they knew they would build a life together. “It was the perfect time and place to turn the page on an old chapter and begin a new life,” Ms. Mercel said.

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A table setting outside, with gold rimmed wine glasses, overlooks the Tuscan hills.

The reception featured food prepared by Ms. Mercel’s best friend, Zahra Tangorra, a chef based in Brooklyn.Credit...Alexandra Capel

As a trained jewelry designer with a bachelor of fine arts in fine metals from Kutztown University of Pennsylvania, and a certificate in design and technology from the Gemological Institute of America, Mr. Wisner approached Ms. Mercel’s engagement ring with intention. He also wanted it to be meaningful, without the pressure of it being the only one she would wear.

“From the beginning, I told her, ‘I’m going to make you a bunch of rings’,” he said. “The stones in this one will always be the ring, but let’s take the pressure off it being the only one.”

They designed the engagement ring together, working with ethically sourced stones from a trusted dealer near Mr. Wisner’s hometown, King of Prussia, Pa. “I took her through the whole process like I would a client — stone options, pricing, everything.”

On Dec. 19, 2024, they picked up the ring and checked into a suite at the Thompson Central Park New York hotel to celebrate. That evening, after they put her daughter to bed, Mr. Wisner proposed to Ms. Mercel.

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The bride, foreground, holds up her gown as she walks up a stone incline, with trees and greenery on either side. Following her, down below, is her little girl, left, holding the groom’s hand. A stone house, left, is at the foot of the path.

Ms. Mercel wore a vintage Morgane Le Fay wedding dress, silver Stephane Kélian heels and jewelry designed by Mr. Wisner.Credit...Alexandra Capel

They had begun planning a wedding in Italy, but knew they would legally marry in New York so Ms. Mercel’s parents could be present. They held a civil ceremony on May 19 at City Hall in Manhattan, officiated by Madeline Plasencia, a clerk at the Marriage Bureau.

Though her mother could not travel to Italy, she celebrated with them over lunch at Gramercy Tavern after the civil ceremony. “She knew exactly why we were there and loved celebrating with us,” Ms. Mercel said.

A month later, the couple exchanged vows on June 21 at Podere Ciona, a winery and vineyard in Gaiole in Chianti, Italy. Set during the summer solstice, the intimate ceremony with 25 guests featured herbal blessings and reflections on love and life, inspired by the Italian solstice tradition of Rugiada di San Giovanni.

A friend of the couple, Brock Forsblom, a Reiki practitioner and textile designer, led the ritual. Mr. Wisner’s brother, Justin, led the ceremony and performed a protective spell sent by Mary Ellen Oliver Emrich, one of Ms. Mercel’s aunts who is a tarot reader in Rockport, Mass.

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A man, in a pale blue shirt and darker blue striped tie, plays guitar under a pergola, as guests, seated behind him, look on.

Peter Wisner, Mr. Wisner’s father and a musician, played Pete Townshend’s “Let My Love Open the Door” to close the ceremony.Credit...Alexandra Capel

As the couple stepped forward hand-in-hand with Sloane, Mr. Wisner recalled, “Walking up with my wife and my stepdaughter hand-in-hand, I felt this is exactly the place I was always meant to be. While exchanging our vows, I felt like this group had built this wonder of joy, safety and love for the three of us to walk through and start our next chapter.”

At the close of the ceremony, Mr. Wisner’s brother wrapped the couple’s hands in silk before they kissed and walked forward, three in hand. Peter Wisner, Mr. Wisner’s father and a musician, played “Let My Love Open the Door” by Pete Townshend to close the ceremony as Sloane danced into the reception.

The ceremony followed an organic rhythm throughout the rest of the evening, “It didn’t feel complete until we were married under the eyes of our friends, the land and sky, and all our combined history and love,” Ms. Mercel said.

Mr. Wisner added, “I’ve always loved Janet, but there wasn’t one single moment. It was the culmination of years of trust and care — being best friends, showing up for each other through hard times, and always wanting the best for one another. These two girls are my world.”

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The back of the groom, left, leans toward the bride, who is laughing as they sit at an outdoor table in Tuscany.

“There was no first date. If we were going to do this, we were going to get married,” Mr. Wisner said. “We both understood the depth of the commitment ahead.”Credit...Alexandra Capel

On This Day

When June 21, 2025

Where Podere Ciona Winery in Gaiole in Chianti, Italy.

Vintage Forward Wedding Attire Mr. Wisner wore an off-white, double-breasted Todd Snyder jacket, vintage wheat linen trousers from Tokio 7, cuff links that belonged to his grandfather, a pintuck tuxedo shirt from Proper Cloth and Loro Piana Summer Walk shoes. He wore five rings: an 18k yellow gold eternity band that he designed with his brother; two organic gold bands; a 20k yellow gold Memento Mori ring that he designed; and an 18k Temple Diamond Ring by Temple St. Clair.

Ms. Mercel wore a vintage Morgane Le Fay wedding dress, silver Stephane Kélian heels and jewelry designed by Mr. Wisner, including swinging tassel earrings crafted from aquamarines inherited from his mother, paired with strands of emerald beads he had acquired at auction for his personal collection.

Tuscan Watercolor Keepsakes Ross Alexander, a close friend of the couple and a designer and illustrator, painted a custom watercolor of the winery and surrounding Tuscan hills for their wedding invitations. The artwork was also turned into labels for gift bags, notebooks and handmade facial spritzes and balms created by Mr. Wisner and his brother.

A Local Wedding Feast Zahra Tangorra, a longtime friend of Ms. Mercel and a chef deeply rooted in the region, orchestrated the wedding feast with the help of her local network. Drawing on years of residencies and relationships in Chianti, she sourced every ingredient — from Podere Ciona’s Chianti Classico to the fig leaves wrapping the grilled branzino.

A correction was made on July 11, 2025: An earlier version of this article misidentified the location where Janet Mercel was raised. She grew up in Red Hook, N.Y., not the Red Hook section of Brooklyn. Because of an editing error, an earlier version of a picture caption with the article misidentified the person wrapping the couple’s hands with a silk scarf. He is Justin Wisner, the groom’s brother, not Brock Forsblom. And also because of an editing error, the article misspelled the surname of the writer of the song “Let My Love Open the Door.” He is Pete Townshend, not Townsend.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5751472&forum_id=2...id.#49109699)

these people live in an entirely different world

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5751472&forum_id=2...id.#49109714)