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Twas the Night Before Christmas (Peterman version)

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the J ...
translucent floppy corner pistol
  12/03/18
...
translucent floppy corner pistol
  12/03/18
TLDR but clearly you spent a lot of time on this, plz enjoy ...
Trip dingle berry heaven
  12/03/18
ty!
translucent floppy corner pistol
  12/03/18
jfc, this was 180. This is why I continue to visit this d...
Bossy ebony kitchen
  12/03/18
...
Fluffy Provocative Circlehead Love Of Her Life
  12/24/21
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Bat Shit Crazy Haunting Rehab Karate
  12/03/18
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azure stimulating partner
  12/03/18
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filthy lettuce bawdyhouse
  12/03/18
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Tripping transparent station
  12/03/18
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Bossy ebony kitchen
  12/03/18
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translucent floppy corner pistol
  12/07/18
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Contagious Zombie-like French Chef Personal Credit Line
  12/07/18
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Hilarious emerald national persian
  12/07/18
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bateful brass multi-billionaire
  12/07/18
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Unholy black woman trailer park
  12/07/18
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translucent floppy corner pistol
  12/14/18
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Zippy brunch
  12/14/18
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translucent floppy corner pistol
  12/24/18
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Bat Shit Crazy Haunting Rehab Karate
  12/24/18
...
Vivacious sticky stock car
  12/24/18
To be fair, What—a Jew lampooning Christmas in a vu...
Canary magical yarmulke
  12/24/18
120
Soul-stirring Chestnut Area
  12/24/18
...
translucent floppy corner pistol
  12/24/18
...
Soul-stirring Chestnut Area
  12/24/18
...
Stirring Stain
  12/24/18
...
translucent floppy corner pistol
  12/24/18
...
lavender thriller parlor
  12/24/18
Artistic gold tyvmft
Cerebral Crawly Public Bath
  12/24/18
...
translucent floppy corner pistol
  12/16/21
...
abusive filthpig doctorate
  12/24/18
...
rough-skinned international law enforcement agency stag film
  12/24/18
this was pretty good, nice work
Titillating federal library becky
  12/24/18
~*Christmas in July bump*~
translucent floppy corner pistol
  07/01/19
...
Bat Shit Crazy Haunting Rehab Karate
  07/01/19
...
Bat Shit Crazy Haunting Rehab Karate
  07/01/19
Early December Bump
translucent floppy corner pistol
  12/10/19
getting close...
translucent floppy corner pistol
  12/20/19
ding ding ding
translucent floppy corner pistol
  12/24/19
...
rose potus crotch
  12/24/19
...
translucent floppy corner pistol
  12/24/19
...
Cream godawful address
  12/24/19
This deserves more bumps.
cordovan box office
  12/24/19
...
Khaki factory reset button hominid
  12/24/19
lost it at 8 tiny trans queers. still unmitigated 180
Cerebral Crawly Public Bath
  12/24/19
lol
translucent floppy corner pistol
  12/24/19
This
Fluffy Provocative Circlehead Love Of Her Life
  12/24/21
Missed this the first time. Great work dude. 180
180 iridescent keepsake machete
  12/24/19
ty, labor of love
translucent floppy corner pistol
  12/24/19
...
Odious lodge
  12/24/19
...
translucent floppy corner pistol
  12/24/19
lube up your chimneys!
translucent floppy corner pistol
  12/24/19
pure gold 180
Fluffy Provocative Circlehead Love Of Her Life
  12/24/19
...
translucent floppy corner pistol
  12/24/19
...
Snowy Motley Business Firm Tattoo
  12/24/19
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translucent floppy corner pistol
  12/15/20
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translucent floppy corner pistol
  12/23/20
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bearded lay
  12/24/20
It's time.
translucent floppy corner pistol
  12/24/20
...
Hilarious emerald national persian
  12/24/20
...
translucent floppy corner pistol
  12/16/21
...
Stirring Stain
  12/16/21
...
bearded lay
  12/16/21
Chri$tmas $pirit
translucent floppy corner pistol
  12/20/21
Lmao
harsh mustard really tough guy psychic
  12/20/21
...
translucent floppy corner pistol
  12/22/21
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harsh mustard really tough guy psychic
  12/22/21
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Dead water buffalo pit
  12/24/21
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Fluffy Provocative Circlehead Love Of Her Life
  12/25/23
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grown men with poopy butt cracks
  12/25/25
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nude butt cheeks
  12/25/25
...
constantscreen the great
  12/25/25


Poast new message in this thread



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 12:45 PM
Author: translucent floppy corner pistol

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the J

Lots of truckers were hungry, much like any old day;

The rig pigs were hung, taking dick pics with care,

In hopes that St. Peterman soon would be there;

The truckers were horny, dicks throbbing and red ,

While visions of Peter’s plums danced in their heads;

And Earl in his 'kerchief, and I in my cap,

Had just settled down longing for Peterman’s gap,

When out on the lot there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from the truck to see what was the matter.

Away to the lot I flew like a flash,

Tore open my zipper in hope of fresh gash.

The moon on the breast of the softly lit J

Made the lot lizards glow, all looking to play,

When, what to my wandering eyes should appear,

But a beady-eyed Peterman, and eight tiny trans-queers,

With a little old driver, so lively and quick,

I knew in a moment this night would be sick.

More rapid than eagles out their trousers they came,

And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

"Now, FLASHER! now, DANCER! now, PRANCER and VIXEN!

On, ROCKET ! on CUPID! on, BONER and SHITZEN!

To the back of the truck! to the top of the wall!

Now suck away! suck away! fuck away all!"

As lubed holes that before the wild hurricane fly,

When they meet with a cock, were mounted to the sky,

So up to the truck-stops the trans-queers they flew,

With the sleigh full of boys, and St. Peterman too.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof

The prancing and pawing of each little poof.

As he jerked with his hand, and was turning around,

“Stuff my chimney!” said St. Peterman on the ground.

He was dressed all in latex, from his head to his foot,

His knees were all tarnished with ashes and soot;

A bundle of dildos he had flung on his back,

And he looked like a peddler just lifting his sac.

His eyes -- how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!

His cheeks were like roses, his boihole like a cherry!

His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,

And the beard of his chin had cum white as snow;

The stump of my pipe he held tight in his teeth,

And his lips did encircle its head like a wreath;

He had a broad face and a little round belly,

His broad backside shook like a bowlful of jelly.

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,

And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,

Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,

We filled all their “stockings” and had circle jerks,

And laying his finger aside of his nose,

A huge snort of cocaine billowed up and rose;

Then he sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,

And away they all pranced like the down of a thistle.

But I heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight,

"HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, CASH AND CHECKS ARE ALL-RIGHT!"

Happy December, Merry Christmas & Happy New Year.

Upset Jew, 12-03-2018



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#37342568)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:00 PM
Author: translucent floppy corner pistol



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#37343357)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:04 PM
Author: Trip dingle berry heaven

TLDR but clearly you spent a lot of time on this, plz enjoy this pity bump as my Chanukah present to you

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#37343380)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:10 PM
Author: translucent floppy corner pistol

ty!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#37343413)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:16 PM
Author: Bossy ebony kitchen

jfc, this was 180.

This is why I continue to visit this demented chatbort.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#37343471)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:53 PM
Author: Fluffy Provocative Circlehead Love Of Her Life



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#43670143)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:17 PM
Author: Bat Shit Crazy Haunting Rehab Karate



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#37343477)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:18 PM
Author: azure stimulating partner



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#37343484)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:22 PM
Author: filthy lettuce bawdyhouse



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#37343509)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:22 PM
Author: Tripping transparent station



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#37343515)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:26 PM
Author: Bossy ebony kitchen



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#37343539)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:35 AM
Author: translucent floppy corner pistol



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#37367063)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:39 AM
Author: Contagious Zombie-like French Chef Personal Credit Line



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#37367091)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:50 AM
Author: Hilarious emerald national persian



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#37367151)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:52 AM
Author: bateful brass multi-billionaire



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#37367159)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:55 AM
Author: Unholy black woman trailer park



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#37367178)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 14th, 2018 12:12 PM
Author: translucent floppy corner pistol



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#37407273)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 14th, 2018 12:15 PM
Author: Zippy brunch



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#37407292)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:40 AM
Author: translucent floppy corner pistol



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#37462610)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:40 AM
Author: Bat Shit Crazy Haunting Rehab Karate



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#37462612)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:41 AM
Author: Vivacious sticky stock car



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#37462615)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:44 AM
Author: Canary magical yarmulke

To be fair,

What—a Jew lampooning Christmas in a vulgar and sexually explicit manner for “laughs”? Why I’ve never

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#37462619)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:52 AM
Author: Soul-stirring Chestnut Area

120

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#37462646)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 7:44 PM
Author: translucent floppy corner pistol



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#37465688)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:47 AM
Author: Soul-stirring Chestnut Area



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#37462629)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:54 AM
Author: Stirring Stain



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#37462649)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:46 AM
Author: translucent floppy corner pistol



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#37462815)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:02 PM
Author: lavender thriller parlor



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#37465757)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:27 PM
Author: Cerebral Crawly Public Bath

Artistic gold tyvmft

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#37466002)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 12:45 PM
Author: translucent floppy corner pistol



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#43619656)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:30 PM
Author: abusive filthpig doctorate



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#37466012)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:35 PM
Author: rough-skinned international law enforcement agency stag film



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#37466032)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:38 PM
Author: Titillating federal library becky

this was pretty good, nice work

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#37466049)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: translucent floppy corner pistol

~*Christmas in July bump*~

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#38469719)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: Bat Shit Crazy Haunting Rehab Karate



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#38469721)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: Bat Shit Crazy Haunting Rehab Karate



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#38469720)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 10th, 2019 9:37 AM
Author: translucent floppy corner pistol

Early December Bump

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#39241607)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2019 12:21 PM
Author: translucent floppy corner pistol

getting close...

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#39297740)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 12:18 AM
Author: translucent floppy corner pistol

ding ding ding

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#39316620)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 12:38 AM
Author: rose potus crotch



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#39316668)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:42 AM
Author: translucent floppy corner pistol



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#39317383)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:49 AM
Author: Cream godawful address



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#39317409)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:52 AM
Author: cordovan box office

This deserves more bumps.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#39317415)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:07 AM
Author: Khaki factory reset button hominid



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#39317493)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:14 AM
Author: Cerebral Crawly Public Bath

lost it at 8 tiny trans queers. still unmitigated 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#39317523)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 10:57 AM
Author: translucent floppy corner pistol

lol

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#39318060)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:54 PM
Author: Fluffy Provocative Circlehead Love Of Her Life

This

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#43670148)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:30 AM
Author: 180 iridescent keepsake machete

Missed this the first time. Great work dude.

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#39317610)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 10:58 AM
Author: translucent floppy corner pistol

ty, labor of love

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#39318062)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 11:02 AM
Author: Odious lodge



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#39318085)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 11:51 AM
Author: translucent floppy corner pistol



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#39318318)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 1:48 PM
Author: translucent floppy corner pistol

lube up your chimneys!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#39318901)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 4:19 PM
Author: Fluffy Provocative Circlehead Love Of Her Life

pure gold 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#39319682)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 5:57 PM
Author: translucent floppy corner pistol



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#39320155)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 4:29 PM
Author: Snowy Motley Business Firm Tattoo



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#39319749)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 15th, 2020 2:54 PM
Author: translucent floppy corner pistol



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#41553760)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 23rd, 2020 1:37 PM
Author: translucent floppy corner pistol



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#41603653)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 8:07 AM
Author: bearded lay



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#41608882)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 1:14 PM
Author: translucent floppy corner pistol

It's time.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#41610330)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 1:19 PM
Author: Hilarious emerald national persian



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#41610375)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 10:44 AM
Author: translucent floppy corner pistol



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#43618689)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 11:32 AM
Author: Stirring Stain



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#43619119)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 11:34 AM
Author: bearded lay



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#43619130)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2021 12:21 PM
Author: translucent floppy corner pistol

Chri$tmas $pirit

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#43643241)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2021 12:27 PM
Author: harsh mustard really tough guy psychic

Lmao

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#43643299)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 22nd, 2021 5:59 PM
Author: translucent floppy corner pistol



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#43658914)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 22nd, 2021 6:53 PM
Author: harsh mustard really tough guy psychic



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#43659259)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:49 PM
Author: Dead water buffalo pit



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#43670127)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2023 11:04 AM
Author: Fluffy Provocative Circlehead Love Of Her Life



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#47211358)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 2:14 AM
Author: grown men with poopy butt cracks



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#49538706)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 8:10 AM
Author: nude butt cheeks (✅🍑)



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#49538932)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 8:14 AM
Author: constantscreen the great



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#49538935)