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Twas the Night Before Christmas (Peterman version)

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the J ...
multi-colored rehab
  12/03/18
...
multi-colored rehab
  12/03/18
TLDR but clearly you spent a lot of time on this, plz enjoy ...
White plaza
  12/03/18
ty!
multi-colored rehab
  12/03/18
jfc, this was 180. This is why I continue to visit this d...
Gold telephone
  12/03/18
...
misanthropic aggressive stead cuck
  12/24/21
...
floppy ivory mood
  12/03/18
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180 jew stage
  12/03/18
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brass slimy antidepressant drug
  12/03/18
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fiercely-loyal bull headed trailer park
  12/03/18
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Gold telephone
  12/03/18
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multi-colored rehab
  12/07/18
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Honey-headed provocative office place of business
  12/07/18
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sinister round eye keepsake machete
  12/07/18
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trip space feces
  12/07/18
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outnumbered bateful laser beams
  12/07/18
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multi-colored rehab
  12/14/18
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hyperactive ruby gay wizard hell
  12/14/18
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multi-colored rehab
  12/24/18
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floppy ivory mood
  12/24/18
...
Ebony hall
  12/24/18
To be fair, What—a Jew lampooning Christmas in a vu...
swashbuckling pistol
  12/24/18
120
Seedy lay
  12/24/18
...
multi-colored rehab
  12/24/18
...
Seedy lay
  12/24/18
...
titillating wrinkle whorehouse
  12/24/18
...
multi-colored rehab
  12/24/18
...
racy chapel psychic
  12/24/18
Artistic gold tyvmft
nighttime sweet tailpipe persian
  12/24/18
...
multi-colored rehab
  12/16/21
...
Lavender Razzle-dazzle Property Hominid
  12/24/18
...
Cyan Bawdyhouse
  12/24/18
this was pretty good, nice work
Aphrodisiac ticket booth community account
  12/24/18
~*Christmas in July bump*~
multi-colored rehab
  07/01/19
...
floppy ivory mood
  07/01/19
...
floppy ivory mood
  07/01/19
Early December Bump
multi-colored rehab
  12/10/19
getting close...
multi-colored rehab
  12/20/19
ding ding ding
multi-colored rehab
  12/24/19
...
Rebellious Chad
  12/24/19
...
multi-colored rehab
  12/24/19
...
lascivious wagecucks famous landscape painting
  12/24/19
This deserves more bumps.
Pontificating school cafeteria hunting ground
  12/24/19
...
razzle dull fortuitous meteor
  12/24/19
lost it at 8 tiny trans queers. still unmitigated 180
nighttime sweet tailpipe persian
  12/24/19
lol
multi-colored rehab
  12/24/19
This
misanthropic aggressive stead cuck
  12/24/21
Missed this the first time. Great work dude. 180
greedy pit boiling water
  12/24/19
ty, labor of love
multi-colored rehab
  12/24/19
...
Bespoke Tanning Salon Death Wish
  12/24/19
...
multi-colored rehab
  12/24/19
lube up your chimneys!
multi-colored rehab
  12/24/19
pure gold 180
misanthropic aggressive stead cuck
  12/24/19
...
multi-colored rehab
  12/24/19
...
Big shitlib voyeur
  12/24/19
...
multi-colored rehab
  12/15/20
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multi-colored rehab
  12/23/20
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transparent irradiated menage ratface
  12/24/20
It's time.
multi-colored rehab
  12/24/20
...
sinister round eye keepsake machete
  12/24/20
...
multi-colored rehab
  12/16/21
...
titillating wrinkle whorehouse
  12/16/21
...
transparent irradiated menage ratface
  12/16/21
Chri$tmas $pirit
multi-colored rehab
  12/20/21
Lmao
Lilac brethren meetinghouse
  12/20/21
...
multi-colored rehab
  12/22/21
...
Lilac brethren meetinghouse
  12/22/21
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avocado idiot
  12/24/21
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misanthropic aggressive stead cuck
  12/25/23
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grown men with poopy butt cracks
  12/25/25
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nude butt cheeks
  12/25/25
...
constantscreen the great
  12/25/25


Poast new message in this thread



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 12:45 PM
Author: multi-colored rehab

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the J

Lots of truckers were hungry, much like any old day;

The rig pigs were hung, taking dick pics with care,

In hopes that St. Peterman soon would be there;

The truckers were horny, dicks throbbing and red ,

While visions of Peter’s plums danced in their heads;

And Earl in his 'kerchief, and I in my cap,

Had just settled down longing for Peterman’s gap,

When out on the lot there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from the truck to see what was the matter.

Away to the lot I flew like a flash,

Tore open my zipper in hope of fresh gash.

The moon on the breast of the softly lit J

Made the lot lizards glow, all looking to play,

When, what to my wandering eyes should appear,

But a beady-eyed Peterman, and eight tiny trans-queers,

With a little old driver, so lively and quick,

I knew in a moment this night would be sick.

More rapid than eagles out their trousers they came,

And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

"Now, FLASHER! now, DANCER! now, PRANCER and VIXEN!

On, ROCKET ! on CUPID! on, BONER and SHITZEN!

To the back of the truck! to the top of the wall!

Now suck away! suck away! fuck away all!"

As lubed holes that before the wild hurricane fly,

When they meet with a cock, were mounted to the sky,

So up to the truck-stops the trans-queers they flew,

With the sleigh full of boys, and St. Peterman too.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof

The prancing and pawing of each little poof.

As he jerked with his hand, and was turning around,

“Stuff my chimney!” said St. Peterman on the ground.

He was dressed all in latex, from his head to his foot,

His knees were all tarnished with ashes and soot;

A bundle of dildos he had flung on his back,

And he looked like a peddler just lifting his sac.

His eyes -- how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!

His cheeks were like roses, his boihole like a cherry!

His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,

And the beard of his chin had cum white as snow;

The stump of my pipe he held tight in his teeth,

And his lips did encircle its head like a wreath;

He had a broad face and a little round belly,

His broad backside shook like a bowlful of jelly.

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,

And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,

Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,

We filled all their “stockings” and had circle jerks,

And laying his finger aside of his nose,

A huge snort of cocaine billowed up and rose;

Then he sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,

And away they all pranced like the down of a thistle.

But I heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight,

"HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, CASH AND CHECKS ARE ALL-RIGHT!"

Happy December, Merry Christmas & Happy New Year.

Upset Jew, 12-03-2018



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#37342568)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:00 PM
Author: multi-colored rehab



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#37343357)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:04 PM
Author: White plaza

TLDR but clearly you spent a lot of time on this, plz enjoy this pity bump as my Chanukah present to you

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#37343380)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:10 PM
Author: multi-colored rehab

ty!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#37343413)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:16 PM
Author: Gold telephone

jfc, this was 180.

This is why I continue to visit this demented chatbort.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#37343471)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:53 PM
Author: misanthropic aggressive stead cuck



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#43670143)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:17 PM
Author: floppy ivory mood



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#37343477)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:18 PM
Author: 180 jew stage



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#37343484)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:22 PM
Author: brass slimy antidepressant drug



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#37343509)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:22 PM
Author: fiercely-loyal bull headed trailer park



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#37343515)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:26 PM
Author: Gold telephone



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#37343539)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:35 AM
Author: multi-colored rehab



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#37367063)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:39 AM
Author: Honey-headed provocative office place of business



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#37367091)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:50 AM
Author: sinister round eye keepsake machete



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#37367151)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:52 AM
Author: trip space feces



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#37367159)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:55 AM
Author: outnumbered bateful laser beams



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#37367178)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 14th, 2018 12:12 PM
Author: multi-colored rehab



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#37407273)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 14th, 2018 12:15 PM
Author: hyperactive ruby gay wizard hell



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#37407292)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:40 AM
Author: multi-colored rehab



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#37462610)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:40 AM
Author: floppy ivory mood



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#37462612)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:41 AM
Author: Ebony hall



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#37462615)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:44 AM
Author: swashbuckling pistol

To be fair,

What—a Jew lampooning Christmas in a vulgar and sexually explicit manner for “laughs”? Why I’ve never

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#37462619)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:52 AM
Author: Seedy lay

120

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#37462646)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 7:44 PM
Author: multi-colored rehab



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#37465688)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:47 AM
Author: Seedy lay



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#37462629)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:54 AM
Author: titillating wrinkle whorehouse



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#37462649)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:46 AM
Author: multi-colored rehab



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#37462815)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:02 PM
Author: racy chapel psychic



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#37465757)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:27 PM
Author: nighttime sweet tailpipe persian

Artistic gold tyvmft

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#37466002)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 12:45 PM
Author: multi-colored rehab



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#43619656)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:30 PM
Author: Lavender Razzle-dazzle Property Hominid



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#37466012)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:35 PM
Author: Cyan Bawdyhouse



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#37466032)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:38 PM
Author: Aphrodisiac ticket booth community account

this was pretty good, nice work

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#37466049)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: multi-colored rehab

~*Christmas in July bump*~

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#38469719)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: floppy ivory mood



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#38469721)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: floppy ivory mood



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#38469720)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 10th, 2019 9:37 AM
Author: multi-colored rehab

Early December Bump

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#39241607)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2019 12:21 PM
Author: multi-colored rehab

getting close...

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#39297740)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 12:18 AM
Author: multi-colored rehab

ding ding ding

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#39316620)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 12:38 AM
Author: Rebellious Chad



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#39316668)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:42 AM
Author: multi-colored rehab



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#39317383)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:49 AM
Author: lascivious wagecucks famous landscape painting



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#39317409)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:52 AM
Author: Pontificating school cafeteria hunting ground

This deserves more bumps.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#39317415)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:07 AM
Author: razzle dull fortuitous meteor



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#39317493)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:14 AM
Author: nighttime sweet tailpipe persian

lost it at 8 tiny trans queers. still unmitigated 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#39317523)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 10:57 AM
Author: multi-colored rehab

lol

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#39318060)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:54 PM
Author: misanthropic aggressive stead cuck

This

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#43670148)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:30 AM
Author: greedy pit boiling water

Missed this the first time. Great work dude.

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#39317610)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 10:58 AM
Author: multi-colored rehab

ty, labor of love

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#39318062)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 11:02 AM
Author: Bespoke Tanning Salon Death Wish



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#39318085)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 11:51 AM
Author: multi-colored rehab



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#39318318)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 1:48 PM
Author: multi-colored rehab

lube up your chimneys!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#39318901)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 4:19 PM
Author: misanthropic aggressive stead cuck

pure gold 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#39319682)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 5:57 PM
Author: multi-colored rehab



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#39320155)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 4:29 PM
Author: Big shitlib voyeur



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#39319749)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 15th, 2020 2:54 PM
Author: multi-colored rehab



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#41553760)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 23rd, 2020 1:37 PM
Author: multi-colored rehab



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#41603653)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 8:07 AM
Author: transparent irradiated menage ratface



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#41608882)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 1:14 PM
Author: multi-colored rehab

It's time.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#41610330)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 1:19 PM
Author: sinister round eye keepsake machete



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#41610375)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 10:44 AM
Author: multi-colored rehab



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#43618689)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 11:32 AM
Author: titillating wrinkle whorehouse



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#43619119)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 11:34 AM
Author: transparent irradiated menage ratface



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#43619130)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2021 12:21 PM
Author: multi-colored rehab

Chri$tmas $pirit

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#43643241)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2021 12:27 PM
Author: Lilac brethren meetinghouse

Lmao

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#43643299)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 22nd, 2021 5:59 PM
Author: multi-colored rehab



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#43658914)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 22nd, 2021 6:53 PM
Author: Lilac brethren meetinghouse



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#43659259)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:49 PM
Author: avocado idiot



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#43670127)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2023 11:04 AM
Author: misanthropic aggressive stead cuck



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#47211358)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 2:14 AM
Author: grown men with poopy butt cracks



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#49538706)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 8:10 AM
Author: nude butt cheeks (✅🍑)



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#49538932)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 8:14 AM
Author: constantscreen the great



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2...id.#49538935)