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Good writers: Fix this clunky sentence I can't seem to fix

As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car dri...
fear-inspiring library pisswyrm
  04/30/21
"C was seen driving in the X area, with D as a passenge...
Blue Erotic Gas Station Old Irish Cottage
  04/30/21
they do if its an auto case. Contrib or comparative play a ...
low-t shaky hell
  04/30/21
Your sentence doesn't even say that A and B saw C and D, jus...
orange electric boistinker
  04/30/21
As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car dri...
Pea-brained headpube meetinghouse
  05/02/21
Quick fixxx
flesh rigor
  02/25/22
“As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a ...
khaki racy toaster chapel
  04/30/21
...
wild very tactful french chef sandwich
  04/30/21
i thought about breaking it up -- it worse because it puts e...
fear-inspiring library pisswyrm
  04/30/21
Ah m, okay. For some reason I assumed that D was the main pe...
khaki racy toaster chapel
  04/30/21
C and D are both involved. I continue to use the term "...
fear-inspiring library pisswyrm
  04/30/21
"at this time" ROFL
Blue Erotic Gas Station Old Irish Cottage
  04/30/21
Need to clarify at some point whether A or B were actually d...
low-t shaky hell
  04/30/21
Yeah I just worked with the isolated sentence in question b/...
khaki racy toaster chapel
  04/30/21
You can do it in another sentence, but it's going to be impo...
low-t shaky hell
  04/30/21
While driving in the X area, A & B passed a car that C w...
hideous university
  04/30/21
...
learning disabled house windowlicker
  04/30/21
As A and B were driving separately in the X area, they passe...
canary trailer park tank
  04/30/21
This suggestion isn't meant to be used word for word, just g...
cerebral carmine stage love of her life
  04/30/21
...
fear-inspiring library pisswyrm
  04/30/21
...
Cracking insane volcanic crater site
  04/30/21
...
Talented Peach Step-uncle's House Preventive Strike
  04/30/21
...
swollen fragrant state
  04/30/21
Very clear, no ambiguity, reads like 1st order logic, I like...
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  05/04/22
As A and B entered the X area, they looked at each other, an...
coiffed rigpig resort
  04/30/21
...
beta tanning salon
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Charismatic spruce theater
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FRIENDLESS FAGGOT BIRDSHIT A was driving some FAGgOt BIRdshi...
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  04/30/21
...
orchid bawdyhouse deer antler
  04/30/21
...
cerebral carmine stage love of her life
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...
aromatic violet abode
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...
Trip Crystalline Dragon
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Cracking insane volcanic crater site
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...
Twinkling hall
  04/30/21
...
orchid bawdyhouse deer antler
  05/01/21
As A and B were sucking each other’s cocks in the XXX ...
orchid bawdyhouse deer antler
  04/30/21
i think you nailed it.
wild very tactful french chef sandwich
  04/30/21
...
Razzle sanctuary mother
  04/30/21
i hope everyone appreciates the mental illness being perform...
wild very tactful french chef sandwich
  04/30/21
...
Fiercely-loyal toilet seat
  04/30/21
A and B passed D and C, who was driving.
Drab Parlor
  04/30/21
...
filthy senate
  04/30/21
sounds like a riddle
Blue Erotic Gas Station Old Irish Cottage
  04/30/21
i hate this crap As A and B were driving in the X area, t...
Passionate cruel-hearted church building idiot
  04/30/21
i wish this works and it sounds nice but it seems slightly o...
fear-inspiring library pisswyrm
  04/30/21
As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed by D (who...
Passionate cruel-hearted church building idiot
  04/30/21
doesn't it need "D's car"
fear-inspiring library pisswyrm
  04/30/21
it says he was driving, which means an automobile. if y...
Passionate cruel-hearted church building idiot
  04/30/21
Why do you need B, assuming A was driving. Don't say B was ...
low-t shaky hell
  04/30/21
you have to make it more exciting. keep the reader interest...
Mewling Idea He Suggested Fortuitous Meteor
  04/30/21
Were A and B both at the wheel?
lake azn
  04/30/21
turns out it was a tandem bicycle.
wild very tactful french chef sandwich
  04/30/21
...
filthy senate
  04/30/21
As some faggot and his friend were driving in the restricted...
aromatic violet abode
  04/30/21
The two cars passed in X. In one, A was driving B. In the ot...
soggy rose locus
  04/30/21
star crossed lovers. reads like brokeback mountain
Drab Parlor
  04/30/21
still the best way to do it. He has more than a handful of i...
soggy rose locus
  04/30/21
...
khaki racy toaster chapel
  04/30/21
Okay? Wow. Hey. Picture this: Cars A and B. Right? Going thr...
Charismatic spruce theater
  04/30/21
...
beta tanning salon
  04/30/21
A and B, as was their custom from time to time, were engaged...
Ungodly stirring cruise ship digit ratio
  04/30/21
...
Slap-happy Yellow Clown
  02/22/22
So, we need to talk about A driving around with B. Here's th...
Scarlet Potus
  04/30/21
400 km/h, 450 km/h, 500 km/h, 550 km/h; A could feel the for...
Diverse center
  04/30/21
Wow
Scarlet Potus
  04/30/21
I just copied this from a brief.
Diverse center
  04/30/21
...
Trip Crystalline Dragon
  04/30/21
Your stuff is the only stuff from here I share w my wife. E...
low-t shaky hell
  04/30/21
...
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Big-titted Vermilion Jewess
  02/22/22
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...
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  04/30/21
titcr.
filthy senate
  04/30/21
180
nighttime pungent hospital weed whacker
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...
Cracking insane volcanic crater site
  04/30/21
...
Razzle sanctuary mother
  04/30/21
holy shit
Big-titted Vermilion Jewess
  04/30/21
attn low attention span poasters read this whole thing pls
Cracking insane volcanic crater site
  04/30/21
how
Drab Parlor
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...
Twinkling hall
  06/22/22
...
cerebral carmine stage love of her life
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...
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Big-titted Vermilion Jewess
  02/22/22
this is incredible
floppy fat ankles
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Big-titted Vermilion Jewess
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...
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wow
Big national ladyboy
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nighttime pungent hospital weed whacker
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Aphrodisiac Casino Dog Poop
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High | level | legal work
Naked Rough-skinned Menage Double Fault
  04/30/21
...
Fiercely-loyal toilet seat
  04/30/21
Each of A and B were driving in AREA. They both passed a car...
Sickened black woman feces
  04/30/21
A and B passed a car driven by C, who was transporting D as ...
bat shit crazy hairless church goal in life
  04/30/21
two people, a & b, drove past c driving with d in his ca...
Fluffy bisexual native
  04/30/21
C and his passenger D were traveling in X area. A overtook a...
Olive Fantasy-prone Crackhouse Depressive
  04/30/21
As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car dri...
vibrant self-centered trump supporter blood rage
  04/30/21
Haven’t read any of the replies, so someone else may h...
Federal smoky rehab
  04/30/21
This was basically gromjoh's poast above except his was more...
Razzle sanctuary mother
  04/30/21
...
Big-titted Vermilion Jewess
  04/30/21
...
cerebral carmine stage love of her life
  04/30/21
...
Diverse center
  04/30/21
...
Big-titted Vermilion Jewess
  02/22/22
writing MFE's, any resources on improving clunky writing? I ...
gaped wagecucks patrolman
  04/30/21
Did you try the hydro hack?
cerebral carmine stage love of her life
  04/30/21
What’s that
Effete Nibblets Sound Barrier
  04/30/21
You should drink more water, you're probably dehydrated. Th...
cerebral carmine stage love of her life
  04/30/21
...
Cracking insane volcanic crater site
  04/30/21
Just write in the active voice with short simple sentences, ...
Sooty spot quadroon
  04/30/21
A and B saw C driving in X
Sooty spot quadroon
  04/30/21
andy and brad were driving around brooklyn when they passed ...
Wonderful deranged sweet tailpipe stead
  04/30/21
I am gay
Vigorous office
  04/30/21
great thread
Razzle sanctuary mother
  04/30/21
Shitty writing is putting too much into one sentence. A and...
comical people who are hurt
  04/30/21
A and C, drivers, were in different cars, driving through ar...
Mewling Idea He Suggested Fortuitous Meteor
  04/30/21
...
Mewling Idea He Suggested Fortuitous Meteor
  05/02/21
...
Mewling Idea He Suggested Fortuitous Meteor
  05/23/21
Where are we on this? Thank
cerebral carmine stage love of her life
  05/02/21
As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car dri...
Slap-happy Yellow Clown
  02/22/22
OP, does this help?
Blue Erotic Gas Station Old Irish Cottage
  02/25/22
i don't think anyone reads shitlaw shitpaper so it doesn't m...
Outnumbered piazza coffee pot
  06/22/22
...
Pet Relief Area
  04/19/26
"and containing D as" -> "in which D was&q...
UN peacekeeper
  04/19/26
Lots of helpful suggestions in this thread but I’m not...
hmmm i think weather is fraudlies
  04/19/26
...
Pet Relief Area
  04/19/26


Poast new message in this thread



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:48 AM
Author: fear-inspiring library pisswyrm

As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car driven by C and containing D as a passenger.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376133)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:57 AM
Author: Blue Erotic Gas Station Old Irish Cottage

"C was seen driving in the X area, with D as a passenger, by both A and B."

(no one gives a fuck whether A and B were driving or doing a standing 69 at the time they saw these faggots)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376836)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 12:01 PM
Author: low-t shaky hell

they do if its an auto case. Contrib or comparative play a role potentially. Better to keep it clean.



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376873)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 2:10 PM
Author: orange electric boistinker

Your sentence doesn't even say that A and B saw C and D, just that they passed them.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42377665)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 2nd, 2021 12:40 PM
Author: Pea-brained headpube meetinghouse

As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car driven by C which contained D as a passenger.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42386999)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 25th, 2022 1:42 PM
Author: flesh rigor
Subject: Quick fixxx

As A and B were driving in X, they passed a car driven by C containing D as a passenger.

EDIT: LMAO at the date

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#44032731)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:52 AM
Author: khaki racy toaster chapel

“As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car driven by C. D was a passenger in C’s car at the time.”

Would break up the sentences. Your original sentence isn’t terrible though.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376145)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:53 AM
Author: wild very tactful french chef sandwich



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376148)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:55 AM
Author: fear-inspiring library pisswyrm

i thought about breaking it up -- it worse because it puts emphasis on "D was a passenger in C’s car at this time" -- which is a minor detail.

it doesn't really matter whether C or D is the driver.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376159)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:56 AM
Author: khaki racy toaster chapel

Ah m, okay. For some reason I assumed that D was the main person.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376166)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:03 AM
Author: fear-inspiring library pisswyrm

C and D are both involved. I continue to use the term "C's car" for clarity

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376201)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:51 AM
Author: Blue Erotic Gas Station Old Irish Cottage

"at this time"

ROFL

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376807)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:54 AM
Author: low-t shaky hell

Need to clarify at some point whether A or B were actually driving. Or were they in two separate cars, both of which passed C.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376155)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:55 AM
Author: khaki racy toaster chapel

Yeah I just worked with the isolated sentence in question b/c I didn’t know what the surrounding sentences are like.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376160)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:04 AM
Author: low-t shaky hell

You can do it in another sentence, but it's going to be important to be clear who was driving in the passing car.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376205)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:55 AM
Author: hideous university

While driving in the X area, A & B passed a car that C was driving with a passenger, D.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376157)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:57 AM
Author: learning disabled house windowlicker



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376168)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:58 AM
Author: canary trailer park tank

As A and B were driving separately in the X area, they passed a car driven by C which contained D as a passenger.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376174)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:59 AM
Author: cerebral carmine stage love of her life

This suggestion isn't meant to be used word for word, just generally to give you the right idea on how to handle this sort of thing, please develop as part of an exercise in your own development as a lawyer. Really need to break this into clauses that explain everything.

As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car driven by C and containing D as a passenger.

WHEREAS A, B, C, and D are human persons domiciled in Jurisdiction Y

WHEREAS X is a certain area in Jurisdiction Y

WHEREAS A, B, and C are legally authorized to operate motor vehicles ("cars" and each individual such vehicle a "car")

WHEREAS on that certain date, A, B, and C were operating cars.

WHEREAS on that certain date, D was a passenger in the car operated by C.

Now, therefore be it resolved, on that certain date, the aforementioned cars traversed on intersecting paths in Area X.

[I assume by "passed" you mean "passed" as in "they passed by each other while headed in different directions," revise if you mean they were going the same way and A/B's cars passed/overtook C's car.]

Please handle and recirculate, thanks.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376176)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:03 AM
Author: fear-inspiring library pisswyrm



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376203)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:45 AM
Author: Cracking insane volcanic crater site



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376392)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:08 AM
Author: Talented Peach Step-uncle's House Preventive Strike



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376526)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:25 AM
Author: swollen fragrant state



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376657)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 4th, 2022 12:40 PM
Author: exciting forum bbw

Very clear, no ambiguity, reads like 1st order logic, I like it.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#44453959)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:59 AM
Author: coiffed rigpig resort

As A and B entered the X area, they looked at each other, and although none of them said a word, they understood each other perfectly. It was X area after all. Are there any Xs around, they wondered? They passed a beaten-up vehicle with ridiculous oversized chromed wheels with C as a driver and D as a passenger. X's! - thought A and B. C and D did not think anything. They were high.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376178)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:36 AM
Author: beta tanning salon



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376332)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:37 AM
Author: Charismatic spruce theater



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376340)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:59 AM
Author: slate pozpig pistol

FRIENDLESS FAGGOT BIRDSHIT A was driving some FAGgOt BIRdshit car alone(some other NIFmGGA was drivomg alone in another car) they passed ALPHA TURD C , who has MANY DRINKING BUDDIES, SO NATURALLY HAD A PASSENGER (most likely an AZNgirl getting wet for MAMMOTH TURDCOCK)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376183)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:00 AM
Author: orchid bawdyhouse deer antler



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376187)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:01 AM
Author: cerebral carmine stage love of her life



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376195)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:18 AM
Author: aromatic violet abode



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376249)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:47 AM
Author: Trip Crystalline Dragon



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376406)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:36 AM
Author: lemon theater stage reading party



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376713)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:37 AM
Author: Cracking insane volcanic crater site



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376724)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 12:32 PM
Author: Twinkling hall



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42377057)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 1st, 2021 12:19 AM
Author: orchid bawdyhouse deer antler



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42380818)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:59 AM
Author: orchid bawdyhouse deer antler

As A and B were sucking each other’s cocks in the XXX area, C drove by with D cumming in his ass.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376184)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:00 AM
Author: wild very tactful french chef sandwich

i think you nailed it.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376191)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 3:36 PM
Author: Razzle sanctuary mother



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42378174)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:00 AM
Author: wild very tactful french chef sandwich

i hope everyone appreciates the mental illness being performed right now.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376189)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:28 AM
Author: Fiercely-loyal toilet seat



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376669)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:01 AM
Author: Drab Parlor

A and B passed D and C, who was driving.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376194)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:37 AM
Author: filthy senate



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376341)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:52 AM
Author: Blue Erotic Gas Station Old Irish Cottage

sounds like a riddle

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376816)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:01 AM
Author: Passionate cruel-hearted church building idiot

i hate this crap

As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed by D driving with C.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376197)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:05 AM
Author: fear-inspiring library pisswyrm

i wish this works and it sounds nice but it seems slightly off

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376206)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:06 AM
Author: Passionate cruel-hearted church building idiot

As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed by D (who was driving with C).

This is it

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376211)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:07 AM
Author: fear-inspiring library pisswyrm

doesn't it need "D's car"

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376216)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:42 AM
Author: Passionate cruel-hearted church building idiot

it says he was driving, which means an automobile.

if you think specifying what kind of automobile is a key detail then can add that

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376370)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:05 AM
Author: low-t shaky hell

Why do you need B, assuming A was driving. Don't say B was driving. Ever. If he wasnt.

As A was driving, they passed ...

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376208)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 10:06 AM
Author: Mewling Idea He Suggested Fortuitous Meteor

you have to make it more exciting. keep the reader interested.

"Where did this take place? In X. And what happened in X? A and B were together in a car. And what did that car do? Why it passed by another car, a car driven by C. And was C alone in that second car? No, no C was not. C was with D. That's right. A and B passed C and D. It's all true."

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376212)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 10:08 AM
Author: lake azn

Were A and B both at the wheel?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376217)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 10:13 AM
Author: wild very tactful french chef sandwich

turns out it was a tandem bicycle.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376233)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 11:20 AM
Author: filthy senate



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376607)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 10:18 AM
Author: aromatic violet abode

As some faggot and his friend were driving in the restricted area, they passed a car driven by a nigger and containing some other faggot as a passenger. Regards, I hope this helps.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376246)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 10:26 AM
Author: soggy rose locus

The two cars passed in X. In one, A was driving B. In the other, C was driving D.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376290)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 10:29 AM
Author: Drab Parlor

star crossed lovers. reads like brokeback mountain

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376306)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 10:31 AM
Author: soggy rose locus

still the best way to do it. He has more than a handful of items to hit: location, two cars, who was each driver and who was each passenger, that they passed.

This does it and leaves no uncertainty at all

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376317)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 10:34 AM
Author: khaki racy toaster chapel



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376330)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 10:35 AM
Author: Charismatic spruce theater

Okay? Wow. Hey. Picture this: Cars A and B. Right? Going through section X. *makes large "X" using forearms* And boom! Right there, they pass car C. *makes "C" using hand* A car which, at the time, was containing D *unzips pants* as a passenger. *pulls cock out of fly* Any questions?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376331)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 10:37 AM
Author: beta tanning salon



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376336)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 10:40 AM
Author: Ungodly stirring cruise ship digit ratio

A and B, as was their custom from time to time, were engaged in that most fanciful of modern hobbies, navigation of modern paved roads in a device propelled by an internal combustion engine, whence, they happened to pass by and through the X area. It was delightful that time of year and a welcome respite from their usual tiresome surroundings. And, as fate or chance, or even perhaps the Muses had it, another fellow engaged in the very same hobby happened by. Of course, known to them, and combustion engine navigators the State over, twas C along with D. Both were fair fellows and known to A and B. As custom would insist they happened both to notice and acknowledge each other, hobbyists in the same pursuit as they were.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376358)



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Date: February 22nd, 2022 10:09 AM
Author: Slap-happy Yellow Clown



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#44008930)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 10:44 AM
Author: Scarlet Potus

So, we need to talk about A driving around with B. Here's the thing: they were in X area, and what's problematic is they passed by C—yes, THAT C. C had a passenger at the time, D. Here's why that's not okay.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376389)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 10:45 AM
Author: Diverse center

400 km/h, 450 km/h, 500 km/h, 550 km/h; A could feel the force of the acceleration pressing him against the sport bucket seats of his Turbo Allegra Mk. 2, their soft, well-sourced alcantara cosseting his tightly leather chapped legs, the micromechanical motors within instantaneously adjusting to each minor perturbation in the vehicle's three-axis orientation to keep him perfectly balanced, its SWIFT systems scanning kilometers ahead of them in real-time and predictively modulating the various electromagnetic and anti-kinetic shielding systems in order to protect their passage as they rocketed upward toward the gateway to area X--area X, the Sacred Seat of Cybernetic Heaven, its secrets whispering to the hovels of his birthplace below, beckoning brave boys with the Siren Song: "Come, Unlock Our Treasurehosue of Wonder or Die Trying"; "It's a goddamn marvel--" that was B, his copilot jockey, in the seat beside him--he'd always liked the tech stuff, engineered things were his jig and jive and the natural knack he'd expressed for them had been evident since his Fourth Year when he'd spontaneously programmed a molecular excavator during off time while the rest of the class was at the playground; he and B had been practicing for this for over three years, secretive sessions when the sensor rings slipped from alignment every third week on Sunday for maintena--"we have a fucking BOGEY at 3 o'clock HIGH!" B screamed, interrupting his meditation on the past--the systems of the Allegra were fast, but B was faster and he'd spotted the incoming a split second before the computerized indication of the same: "Warning, SWIFT has detected an intrusion in the third--" he cut off the computer; he knew what he needed to know: C was moving to intercept them in his Outrigger, accompanied by D; they'd planned for this eventuality, both the conflict itself and the psychology of facing your own brother and cousin 45 kilometers up in the air, each precise maneuver tiptoeing on the razor thin edge between life and death, a minute miscalculation capable of throwing you off the wrong side into a fiery midair death--there was something poignant about it, the notion that he could die up here in an instant and to his friends and family in the warrens of Bressville below, toiling through their daily tasks with no comprehension of the enormous aerial pageantry above them, his life could blot out with no greater signifier than a vanishing spot of light in the sky; he banished the thought of this and other things as he shouted in the cockpit "let's smoke these fuckers" and pushed down hard on the throttle, the frame of the Allegra bending, straining, complying with the command as they soared to meet the enemy head on, he and B laughing aloud at the thrill of it all.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376393)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 10:47 AM
Author: Scarlet Potus

Wow

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376411)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 10:49 AM
Author: Diverse center

I just copied this from a brief.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376419)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 11:15 AM
Author: Trip Crystalline Dragon



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376574)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 11:54 AM
Author: low-t shaky hell

Your stuff is the only stuff from here I share w my wife. Every time, I explain that "It's just lawyers--we get bored at work--yeah, I know, that's what makes it funny--"

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376824)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 1:21 PM
Author: nighttime pungent hospital weed whacker



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42377415)



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Date: February 22nd, 2022 10:00 AM
Author: Big-titted Vermilion Jewess



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#44008886)



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Date: June 22nd, 2022 9:32 AM
Author: Big national ladyboy



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#44722509)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 10:51 AM
Author: learning disabled house windowlicker



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376432)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 11:05 AM
Author: filthy senate

titcr.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376504)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 11:10 AM
Author: nighttime pungent hospital weed whacker

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376531)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 11:18 AM
Author: Cracking insane volcanic crater site



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376589)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 11:23 AM
Author: Razzle sanctuary mother



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376641)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 11:24 AM
Author: Big-titted Vermilion Jewess

holy shit

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376648)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 11:34 AM
Author: Cracking insane volcanic crater site

attn low attention span poasters read this whole thing pls

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376708)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 1:13 PM
Author: Drab Parlor

how

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42377366)



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Date: June 22nd, 2022 9:36 AM
Author: Twinkling hall



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#44722527)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 11:35 AM
Author: cerebral carmine stage love of her life



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376711)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 12:00 PM
Author: floppy fat ankles



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376866)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 12:01 PM
Author: Cyan kitchen cumskin



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376872)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 3:27 PM
Author: Razzle sanctuary mother



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42378128)



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Date: June 1st, 2021 9:20 PM
Author: floppy fat ankles



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42558237)



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Date: February 22nd, 2022 10:00 AM
Author: Big-titted Vermilion Jewess



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#44008882)



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Date: February 22nd, 2022 10:05 AM
Author: floppy fat ankles

this is incredible

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#44008910)



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Date: February 25th, 2022 1:39 PM
Author: Big-titted Vermilion Jewess



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#44032706)



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Date: May 4th, 2022 12:31 PM
Author: Mind-boggling nubile son of senegal regret



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#44453902)



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Date: June 22nd, 2022 9:31 AM
Author: Big national ladyboy

wow

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#44722507)



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Date: June 22nd, 2022 9:34 AM
Author: nighttime pungent hospital weed whacker



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#44722517)



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Date: June 22nd, 2022 9:44 AM
Author: Aphrodisiac Casino Dog Poop



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#44722548)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 10:49 AM
Author: Naked Rough-skinned Menage Double Fault

High | level | legal work

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376422)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 11:28 AM
Author: Fiercely-loyal toilet seat



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376672)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 10:55 AM
Author: Sickened black woman feces

Each of A and B were driving in AREA. They both passed a car driven by C with D as a passenger.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376456)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 11:05 AM
Author: bat shit crazy hairless church goal in life

A and B passed a car driven by C, who was transporting D as a passenger, as they drove through the X area.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376505)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 11:07 AM
Author: Fluffy bisexual native

two people, a & b, drove past c driving with d in his car.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376517)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 11:13 AM
Author: Olive Fantasy-prone Crackhouse Depressive

C and his passenger D were traveling in X area. A overtook and passed them. B overtook and passed them too.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376555)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 11:19 AM
Author: vibrant self-centered trump supporter blood rage

As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car driven by C, which contained D as a passenger.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376600)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 11:24 AM
Author: Federal smoky rehab

Haven’t read any of the replies, so someone else may have made the same suggestion, but I’d go with:

While driving in the X area, A & B passed a car containing C (driver) and D (passenger).

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376651)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 11:27 AM
Author: Razzle sanctuary mother

This was basically gromjoh's poast above except his was more concise.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376665)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 11:34 AM
Author: Big-titted Vermilion Jewess



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376704)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 11:40 AM
Author: cerebral carmine stage love of her life



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376736)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 2:08 PM
Author: Diverse center



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42377648)



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Date: February 22nd, 2022 10:01 AM
Author: Big-titted Vermilion Jewess



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#44008887)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 11:33 AM
Author: gaped wagecucks patrolman

writing MFE's, any resources on improving clunky writing? I recently jumped from GOV to tech

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376695)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 11:33 AM
Author: cerebral carmine stage love of her life

Did you try the hydro hack?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376699)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 11:40 AM
Author: Effete Nibblets Sound Barrier

What’s that

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376738)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 11:41 AM
Author: cerebral carmine stage love of her life

You should drink more water, you're probably dehydrated. This will, among other things, improve cognitive function and therefore improve your writing. While you're at it also check your posture I bet you're slouching right now.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376746)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 11:49 AM
Author: Cracking insane volcanic crater site



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42376800)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 1:17 PM
Author: Sooty spot quadroon

Just write in the active voice with short simple sentences, subject verb object. Not hard

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42377389)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 1:16 PM
Author: Sooty spot quadroon

A and B saw C driving in X

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42377381)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 1:28 PM
Author: Wonderful deranged sweet tailpipe stead

andy and brad were driving around brooklyn when they passed carl and dave in their car.

this doesn't define who is driving and who is riding though.



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42377449)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 1:38 PM
Author: Vigorous office

I am gay

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42377484)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 3:36 PM
Author: Razzle sanctuary mother

great thread

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42378176)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 3:39 PM
Author: comical people who are hurt

Shitty writing is putting too much into one sentence.

A and B were driving in the X area. [query: are they both driving separate cars?] C driving D passed them.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42378186)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 8:29 PM
Author: Mewling Idea He Suggested Fortuitous Meteor

A and C, drivers, were in different cars, driving through area X, and with them were B and D, passengers; B was with A while D was with C; A and B passed by C and D.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42379691)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 2nd, 2021 12:50 PM
Author: Mewling Idea He Suggested Fortuitous Meteor



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42387061)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 23rd, 2021 3:44 PM
Author: Mewling Idea He Suggested Fortuitous Meteor



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42509184)



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Date: May 2nd, 2021 12:36 PM
Author: cerebral carmine stage love of her life

Where are we on this? Thank

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#42386977)



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Date: February 22nd, 2022 10:06 AM
Author: Slap-happy Yellow Clown

As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car driven by C in which D was a passenger.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#44008916)



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Date: February 25th, 2022 1:44 PM
Author: Blue Erotic Gas Station Old Irish Cottage

OP, does this help?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#44032743)



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Date: June 22nd, 2022 9:32 AM
Author: Outnumbered piazza coffee pot

i don't think anyone reads shitlaw shitpaper so it doesn't matter. aren't state court judges borderline retarded?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#44722512)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 19th, 2026 12:23 PM
Author: Pet Relief Area



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#49827186)



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Date: April 19th, 2026 12:42 PM
Author: UN peacekeeper

"and containing D as" -> "in which D was", otherwise fine

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#49827205)



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Date: April 19th, 2026 1:15 PM
Author: hmmm i think weather is fraudlies

Lots of helpful suggestions in this thread but I’m not sure we’ve got it figured out just yet. Let’s put a pin in it and move on. OP: what’s the next sentence?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#49827228)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 19th, 2026 2:57 PM
Author: Pet Relief Area



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2...id.#49827363)