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Good writers: Fix this clunky sentence I can't seem to fix

As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car dri...
aphrodisiac jet hairy legs masturbator
  04/30/21
"C was seen driving in the X area, with D as a passenge...
curious rusted garrison feces
  04/30/21
they do if its an auto case. Contrib or comparative play a ...
Seedy rigpig
  04/30/21
Your sentence doesn't even say that A and B saw C and D, jus...
Bipolar pistol locale
  04/30/21
As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car dri...
exhilarant scarlet abode genital piercing
  05/02/21
Quick fixxx
Hot amber useless brakes
  02/25/22
“As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a ...
boyish sweet tailpipe queen of the night
  04/30/21
...
dead business firm
  04/30/21
i thought about breaking it up -- it worse because it puts e...
aphrodisiac jet hairy legs masturbator
  04/30/21
Ah m, okay. For some reason I assumed that D was the main pe...
boyish sweet tailpipe queen of the night
  04/30/21
C and D are both involved. I continue to use the term "...
aphrodisiac jet hairy legs masturbator
  04/30/21
"at this time" ROFL
curious rusted garrison feces
  04/30/21
Need to clarify at some point whether A or B were actually d...
Seedy rigpig
  04/30/21
Yeah I just worked with the isolated sentence in question b/...
boyish sweet tailpipe queen of the night
  04/30/21
You can do it in another sentence, but it's going to be impo...
Seedy rigpig
  04/30/21
While driving in the X area, A & B passed a car that C w...
Dark marvelous national security agency
  04/30/21
...
provocative prole
  04/30/21
As A and B were driving separately in the X area, they passe...
fuchsia fighting quadroon
  04/30/21
This suggestion isn't meant to be used word for word, just g...
silver vengeful trailer park
  04/30/21
...
aphrodisiac jet hairy legs masturbator
  04/30/21
...
Purple Supple Psychic
  04/30/21
...
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  04/30/21
...
swashbuckling twinkling sex offender stag film
  04/30/21
Very clear, no ambiguity, reads like 1st order logic, I like...
chrome bearded location brethren
  05/04/22
As A and B entered the X area, they looked at each other, an...
Azure apoplectic internal respiration
  04/30/21
...
drunken soul-stirring state
  04/30/21
...
Passionate parlour
  04/30/21
FRIENDLESS FAGGOT BIRDSHIT A was driving some FAGgOt BIRdshi...
big lodge electric furnace
  04/30/21
...
Free-loading Skinny Woman
  04/30/21
...
silver vengeful trailer park
  04/30/21
...
irate chapel
  04/30/21
...
Excitant Mediation Library
  04/30/21
...
henna haunted graveyard native
  04/30/21
...
Purple Supple Psychic
  04/30/21
...
carnelian death wish spot
  04/30/21
...
Free-loading Skinny Woman
  05/01/21
As A and B were sucking each other’s cocks in the XXX ...
Free-loading Skinny Woman
  04/30/21
i think you nailed it.
dead business firm
  04/30/21
...
French codepig
  04/30/21
i hope everyone appreciates the mental illness being perform...
dead business firm
  04/30/21
...
Chest-beating Exciting Step-uncle's House
  04/30/21
A and B passed D and C, who was driving.
Low-t shrine
  04/30/21
...
abusive yellow casino tattoo
  04/30/21
sounds like a riddle
curious rusted garrison feces
  04/30/21
i hate this crap As A and B were driving in the X area, t...
mind-boggling ruddy keepsake machete becky
  04/30/21
i wish this works and it sounds nice but it seems slightly o...
aphrodisiac jet hairy legs masturbator
  04/30/21
As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed by D (who...
mind-boggling ruddy keepsake machete becky
  04/30/21
doesn't it need "D's car"
aphrodisiac jet hairy legs masturbator
  04/30/21
it says he was driving, which means an automobile. if y...
mind-boggling ruddy keepsake machete becky
  04/30/21
Why do you need B, assuming A was driving. Don't say B was ...
Seedy rigpig
  04/30/21
you have to make it more exciting. keep the reader interest...
Cobalt Bearded Stage Wrinkle
  04/30/21
Were A and B both at the wheel?
slate talented blood rage den
  04/30/21
turns out it was a tandem bicycle.
dead business firm
  04/30/21
...
abusive yellow casino tattoo
  04/30/21
As some faggot and his friend were driving in the restricted...
irate chapel
  04/30/21
The two cars passed in X. In one, A was driving B. In the ot...
sooty histrionic whorehouse crotch
  04/30/21
star crossed lovers. reads like brokeback mountain
Low-t shrine
  04/30/21
still the best way to do it. He has more than a handful of i...
sooty histrionic whorehouse crotch
  04/30/21
...
boyish sweet tailpipe queen of the night
  04/30/21
Okay? Wow. Hey. Picture this: Cars A and B. Right? Going thr...
Passionate parlour
  04/30/21
...
drunken soul-stirring state
  04/30/21
A and B, as was their custom from time to time, were engaged...
well-lubricated market voyeur
  04/30/21
...
carmine cracking filthpig
  02/22/22
So, we need to talk about A driving around with B. Here's th...
Chartreuse Plaza Philosopher-king
  04/30/21
400 km/h, 450 km/h, 500 km/h, 550 km/h; A could feel the for...
soggy fortuitous meteor public bath
  04/30/21
Wow
Chartreuse Plaza Philosopher-king
  04/30/21
I just copied this from a brief.
soggy fortuitous meteor public bath
  04/30/21
...
Excitant Mediation Library
  04/30/21
Your stuff is the only stuff from here I share w my wife. E...
Seedy rigpig
  04/30/21
...
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...
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provocative prole
  04/30/21
titcr.
abusive yellow casino tattoo
  04/30/21
180
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...
Purple Supple Psychic
  04/30/21
...
French codepig
  04/30/21
holy shit
Bonkers Aromatic School Digit Ratio
  04/30/21
attn low attention span poasters read this whole thing pls
Purple Supple Psychic
  04/30/21
how
Low-t shrine
  04/30/21
...
carnelian death wish spot
  06/22/22
...
silver vengeful trailer park
  04/30/21
...
Rough-skinned temple
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Zombie-like doobsian base lettuce
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French codepig
  04/30/21
...
Rough-skinned temple
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...
Bonkers Aromatic School Digit Ratio
  02/22/22
this is incredible
Rough-skinned temple
  02/22/22
...
Bonkers Aromatic School Digit Ratio
  02/25/22
...
Lascivious Judgmental Knife Tank
  05/04/22
wow
Fragrant pit foreskin
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...
deep new version clown
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very tactful lay background story
  06/22/22
High | level | legal work
awkward lake mad cow disease mental disorder
  04/30/21
...
Chest-beating Exciting Step-uncle's House
  04/30/21
Each of A and B were driving in AREA. They both passed a car...
Laughsome crackhouse
  04/30/21
A and B passed a car driven by C, who was transporting D as ...
Bat-shit-crazy dog poop
  04/30/21
two people, a & b, drove past c driving with d in his ca...
violent red menage
  04/30/21
C and his passenger D were traveling in X area. A overtook a...
sexy center
  04/30/21
As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car dri...
cyan party of the first part
  04/30/21
Haven’t read any of the replies, so someone else may h...
bat shit crazy theater stage
  04/30/21
This was basically gromjoh's poast above except his was more...
French codepig
  04/30/21
...
Bonkers Aromatic School Digit Ratio
  04/30/21
...
silver vengeful trailer park
  04/30/21
...
soggy fortuitous meteor public bath
  04/30/21
...
Bonkers Aromatic School Digit Ratio
  02/22/22
writing MFE's, any resources on improving clunky writing? I ...
Snowy hyperventilating legend forum
  04/30/21
Did you try the hydro hack?
silver vengeful trailer park
  04/30/21
What’s that
Sapphire Idiot
  04/30/21
You should drink more water, you're probably dehydrated. Th...
silver vengeful trailer park
  04/30/21
...
Purple Supple Psychic
  04/30/21
Just write in the active voice with short simple sentences, ...
wonderful kitty toilet seat
  04/30/21
A and B saw C driving in X
wonderful kitty toilet seat
  04/30/21
andy and brad were driving around brooklyn when they passed ...
adventurous famous landscape painting
  04/30/21
I am gay
Orchid travel guidebook
  04/30/21
great thread
French codepig
  04/30/21
Shitty writing is putting too much into one sentence. A and...
coiffed parlor
  04/30/21
A and C, drivers, were in different cars, driving through ar...
Cobalt Bearded Stage Wrinkle
  04/30/21
...
Cobalt Bearded Stage Wrinkle
  05/02/21
...
Cobalt Bearded Stage Wrinkle
  05/23/21
Where are we on this? Thank
silver vengeful trailer park
  05/02/21
As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car dri...
carmine cracking filthpig
  02/22/22
OP, does this help?
curious rusted garrison feces
  02/25/22
i don't think anyone reads shitlaw shitpaper so it doesn't m...
fishy hall
  06/22/22
...
provocative prole
  04/19/26
"and containing D as" -> "in which D was&q...
carmine cracking filthpig
  04/19/26
Lots of helpful suggestions in this thread but I’m not...
abusive yellow casino tattoo
  04/19/26
...
provocative prole
  04/19/26


Poast new message in this thread



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:48 AM
Author: aphrodisiac jet hairy legs masturbator

As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car driven by C and containing D as a passenger.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Reputation#42376133)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:57 AM
Author: curious rusted garrison feces

"C was seen driving in the X area, with D as a passenger, by both A and B."

(no one gives a fuck whether A and B were driving or doing a standing 69 at the time they saw these faggots)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Reputation#42376836)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 12:01 PM
Author: Seedy rigpig

they do if its an auto case. Contrib or comparative play a role potentially. Better to keep it clean.



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Reputation#42376873)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 2:10 PM
Author: Bipolar pistol locale

Your sentence doesn't even say that A and B saw C and D, just that they passed them.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Reputation#42377665)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 2nd, 2021 12:40 PM
Author: exhilarant scarlet abode genital piercing

As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car driven by C which contained D as a passenger.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Reputation#42386999)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 25th, 2022 1:42 PM
Author: Hot amber useless brakes
Subject: Quick fixxx

As A and B were driving in X, they passed a car driven by C containing D as a passenger.

EDIT: LMAO at the date

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Reputation#44032731)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:52 AM
Author: boyish sweet tailpipe queen of the night

“As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car driven by C. D was a passenger in C’s car at the time.”

Would break up the sentences. Your original sentence isn’t terrible though.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Reputation#42376145)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:53 AM
Author: dead business firm



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Reputation#42376148)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:55 AM
Author: aphrodisiac jet hairy legs masturbator

i thought about breaking it up -- it worse because it puts emphasis on "D was a passenger in C’s car at this time" -- which is a minor detail.

it doesn't really matter whether C or D is the driver.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Reputation#42376159)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:56 AM
Author: boyish sweet tailpipe queen of the night

Ah m, okay. For some reason I assumed that D was the main person.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Reputation#42376166)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:03 AM
Author: aphrodisiac jet hairy legs masturbator

C and D are both involved. I continue to use the term "C's car" for clarity

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Reputation#42376201)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:51 AM
Author: curious rusted garrison feces

"at this time"

ROFL

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Reputation#42376807)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:54 AM
Author: Seedy rigpig

Need to clarify at some point whether A or B were actually driving. Or were they in two separate cars, both of which passed C.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Reputation#42376155)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:55 AM
Author: boyish sweet tailpipe queen of the night

Yeah I just worked with the isolated sentence in question b/c I didn’t know what the surrounding sentences are like.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Reputation#42376160)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:04 AM
Author: Seedy rigpig

You can do it in another sentence, but it's going to be important to be clear who was driving in the passing car.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Reputation#42376205)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:55 AM
Author: Dark marvelous national security agency

While driving in the X area, A & B passed a car that C was driving with a passenger, D.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Reputation#42376157)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:57 AM
Author: provocative prole



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Reputation#42376168)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:58 AM
Author: fuchsia fighting quadroon

As A and B were driving separately in the X area, they passed a car driven by C which contained D as a passenger.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Reputation#42376174)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:59 AM
Author: silver vengeful trailer park

This suggestion isn't meant to be used word for word, just generally to give you the right idea on how to handle this sort of thing, please develop as part of an exercise in your own development as a lawyer. Really need to break this into clauses that explain everything.

As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car driven by C and containing D as a passenger.

WHEREAS A, B, C, and D are human persons domiciled in Jurisdiction Y

WHEREAS X is a certain area in Jurisdiction Y

WHEREAS A, B, and C are legally authorized to operate motor vehicles ("cars" and each individual such vehicle a "car")

WHEREAS on that certain date, A, B, and C were operating cars.

WHEREAS on that certain date, D was a passenger in the car operated by C.

Now, therefore be it resolved, on that certain date, the aforementioned cars traversed on intersecting paths in Area X.

[I assume by "passed" you mean "passed" as in "they passed by each other while headed in different directions," revise if you mean they were going the same way and A/B's cars passed/overtook C's car.]

Please handle and recirculate, thanks.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Reputation#42376176)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:03 AM
Author: aphrodisiac jet hairy legs masturbator



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Reputation#42376203)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:45 AM
Author: Purple Supple Psychic



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Reputation#42376392)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:08 AM
Author: angry spectacular faggotry set



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Reputation#42376526)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:25 AM
Author: swashbuckling twinkling sex offender stag film



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Reputation#42376657)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 4th, 2022 12:40 PM
Author: chrome bearded location brethren

Very clear, no ambiguity, reads like 1st order logic, I like it.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Reputation#44453959)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:59 AM
Author: Azure apoplectic internal respiration

As A and B entered the X area, they looked at each other, and although none of them said a word, they understood each other perfectly. It was X area after all. Are there any Xs around, they wondered? They passed a beaten-up vehicle with ridiculous oversized chromed wheels with C as a driver and D as a passenger. X's! - thought A and B. C and D did not think anything. They were high.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Reputation#42376178)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:36 AM
Author: drunken soul-stirring state



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Reputation#42376332)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:37 AM
Author: Passionate parlour



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Reputation#42376340)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:59 AM
Author: big lodge electric furnace

FRIENDLESS FAGGOT BIRDSHIT A was driving some FAGgOt BIRdshit car alone(some other NIFmGGA was drivomg alone in another car) they passed ALPHA TURD C , who has MANY DRINKING BUDDIES, SO NATURALLY HAD A PASSENGER (most likely an AZNgirl getting wet for MAMMOTH TURDCOCK)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Reputation#42376183)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:00 AM
Author: Free-loading Skinny Woman



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Reputation#42376187)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:01 AM
Author: silver vengeful trailer park



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Reputation#42376195)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:18 AM
Author: irate chapel



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Reputation#42376249)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:47 AM
Author: Excitant Mediation Library



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Reputation#42376406)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:36 AM
Author: henna haunted graveyard native



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Reputation#42376713)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:37 AM
Author: Purple Supple Psychic



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Reputation#42376724)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 12:32 PM
Author: carnelian death wish spot



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Reputation#42377057)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 1st, 2021 12:19 AM
Author: Free-loading Skinny Woman



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Reputation#42380818)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 9:59 AM
Author: Free-loading Skinny Woman

As A and B were sucking each other’s cocks in the XXX area, C drove by with D cumming in his ass.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Reputation#42376184)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:00 AM
Author: dead business firm

i think you nailed it.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Reputation#42376191)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 3:36 PM
Author: French codepig



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Reputation#42378174)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:00 AM
Author: dead business firm

i hope everyone appreciates the mental illness being performed right now.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Reputation#42376189)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:28 AM
Author: Chest-beating Exciting Step-uncle's House



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Reputation#42376669)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:01 AM
Author: Low-t shrine

A and B passed D and C, who was driving.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Reputation#42376194)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:37 AM
Author: abusive yellow casino tattoo



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Reputation#42376341)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:52 AM
Author: curious rusted garrison feces

sounds like a riddle

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Reputation#42376816)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:01 AM
Author: mind-boggling ruddy keepsake machete becky

i hate this crap

As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed by D driving with C.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Reputation#42376197)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:05 AM
Author: aphrodisiac jet hairy legs masturbator

i wish this works and it sounds nice but it seems slightly off

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Reputation#42376206)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:06 AM
Author: mind-boggling ruddy keepsake machete becky

As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed by D (who was driving with C).

This is it

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Reputation#42376211)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:07 AM
Author: aphrodisiac jet hairy legs masturbator

doesn't it need "D's car"

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Reputation#42376216)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:42 AM
Author: mind-boggling ruddy keepsake machete becky

it says he was driving, which means an automobile.

if you think specifying what kind of automobile is a key detail then can add that

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Reputation#42376370)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:05 AM
Author: Seedy rigpig

Why do you need B, assuming A was driving. Don't say B was driving. Ever. If he wasnt.

As A was driving, they passed ...

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Reputation#42376208)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:06 AM
Author: Cobalt Bearded Stage Wrinkle

you have to make it more exciting. keep the reader interested.

"Where did this take place? In X. And what happened in X? A and B were together in a car. And what did that car do? Why it passed by another car, a car driven by C. And was C alone in that second car? No, no C was not. C was with D. That's right. A and B passed C and D. It's all true."

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Reputation#42376212)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 10:08 AM
Author: slate talented blood rage den

Were A and B both at the wheel?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Reputation#42376217)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 10:13 AM
Author: dead business firm

turns out it was a tandem bicycle.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Reputation#42376233)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:20 AM
Author: abusive yellow casino tattoo



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Reputation#42376607)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 10:18 AM
Author: irate chapel

As some faggot and his friend were driving in the restricted area, they passed a car driven by a nigger and containing some other faggot as a passenger. Regards, I hope this helps.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Reputation#42376246)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:26 AM
Author: sooty histrionic whorehouse crotch

The two cars passed in X. In one, A was driving B. In the other, C was driving D.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Reputation#42376290)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 10:29 AM
Author: Low-t shrine

star crossed lovers. reads like brokeback mountain

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Reputation#42376306)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:31 AM
Author: sooty histrionic whorehouse crotch

still the best way to do it. He has more than a handful of items to hit: location, two cars, who was each driver and who was each passenger, that they passed.

This does it and leaves no uncertainty at all

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Reputation#42376317)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:34 AM
Author: boyish sweet tailpipe queen of the night



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Reputation#42376330)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 10:35 AM
Author: Passionate parlour

Okay? Wow. Hey. Picture this: Cars A and B. Right? Going through section X. *makes large "X" using forearms* And boom! Right there, they pass car C. *makes "C" using hand* A car which, at the time, was containing D *unzips pants* as a passenger. *pulls cock out of fly* Any questions?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Reputation#42376331)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:37 AM
Author: drunken soul-stirring state



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Reputation#42376336)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 10:40 AM
Author: well-lubricated market voyeur

A and B, as was their custom from time to time, were engaged in that most fanciful of modern hobbies, navigation of modern paved roads in a device propelled by an internal combustion engine, whence, they happened to pass by and through the X area. It was delightful that time of year and a welcome respite from their usual tiresome surroundings. And, as fate or chance, or even perhaps the Muses had it, another fellow engaged in the very same hobby happened by. Of course, known to them, and combustion engine navigators the State over, twas C along with D. Both were fair fellows and known to A and B. As custom would insist they happened both to notice and acknowledge each other, hobbyists in the same pursuit as they were.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Reputation#42376358)



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Date: February 22nd, 2022 10:09 AM
Author: carmine cracking filthpig



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Reputation#44008930)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 10:44 AM
Author: Chartreuse Plaza Philosopher-king

So, we need to talk about A driving around with B. Here's the thing: they were in X area, and what's problematic is they passed by C—yes, THAT C. C had a passenger at the time, D. Here's why that's not okay.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Reputation#42376389)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:45 AM
Author: soggy fortuitous meteor public bath

400 km/h, 450 km/h, 500 km/h, 550 km/h; A could feel the force of the acceleration pressing him against the sport bucket seats of his Turbo Allegra Mk. 2, their soft, well-sourced alcantara cosseting his tightly leather chapped legs, the micromechanical motors within instantaneously adjusting to each minor perturbation in the vehicle's three-axis orientation to keep him perfectly balanced, its SWIFT systems scanning kilometers ahead of them in real-time and predictively modulating the various electromagnetic and anti-kinetic shielding systems in order to protect their passage as they rocketed upward toward the gateway to area X--area X, the Sacred Seat of Cybernetic Heaven, its secrets whispering to the hovels of his birthplace below, beckoning brave boys with the Siren Song: "Come, Unlock Our Treasurehosue of Wonder or Die Trying"; "It's a goddamn marvel--" that was B, his copilot jockey, in the seat beside him--he'd always liked the tech stuff, engineered things were his jig and jive and the natural knack he'd expressed for them had been evident since his Fourth Year when he'd spontaneously programmed a molecular excavator during off time while the rest of the class was at the playground; he and B had been practicing for this for over three years, secretive sessions when the sensor rings slipped from alignment every third week on Sunday for maintena--"we have a fucking BOGEY at 3 o'clock HIGH!" B screamed, interrupting his meditation on the past--the systems of the Allegra were fast, but B was faster and he'd spotted the incoming a split second before the computerized indication of the same: "Warning, SWIFT has detected an intrusion in the third--" he cut off the computer; he knew what he needed to know: C was moving to intercept them in his Outrigger, accompanied by D; they'd planned for this eventuality, both the conflict itself and the psychology of facing your own brother and cousin 45 kilometers up in the air, each precise maneuver tiptoeing on the razor thin edge between life and death, a minute miscalculation capable of throwing you off the wrong side into a fiery midair death--there was something poignant about it, the notion that he could die up here in an instant and to his friends and family in the warrens of Bressville below, toiling through their daily tasks with no comprehension of the enormous aerial pageantry above them, his life could blot out with no greater signifier than a vanishing spot of light in the sky; he banished the thought of this and other things as he shouted in the cockpit "let's smoke these fuckers" and pushed down hard on the throttle, the frame of the Allegra bending, straining, complying with the command as they soared to meet the enemy head on, he and B laughing aloud at the thrill of it all.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Reputation#42376393)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:47 AM
Author: Chartreuse Plaza Philosopher-king

Wow

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Reputation#42376411)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:49 AM
Author: soggy fortuitous meteor public bath

I just copied this from a brief.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Reputation#42376419)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:15 AM
Author: Excitant Mediation Library



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Reputation#42376574)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 11:54 AM
Author: Seedy rigpig

Your stuff is the only stuff from here I share w my wife. Every time, I explain that "It's just lawyers--we get bored at work--yeah, I know, that's what makes it funny--"

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Reputation#42376824)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 1:21 PM
Author: deep new version clown



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Reputation#42377415)



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Date: February 22nd, 2022 10:00 AM
Author: Bonkers Aromatic School Digit Ratio



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Reputation#44008886)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 22nd, 2022 9:32 AM
Author: Fragrant pit foreskin



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Reputation#44722509)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:51 AM
Author: provocative prole



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Reputation#42376432)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 11:05 AM
Author: abusive yellow casino tattoo

titcr.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Reputation#42376504)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:10 AM
Author: deep new version clown

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Reputation#42376531)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 11:18 AM
Author: Purple Supple Psychic



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Reputation#42376589)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:23 AM
Author: French codepig



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Reputation#42376641)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 11:24 AM
Author: Bonkers Aromatic School Digit Ratio

holy shit

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Reputation#42376648)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 11:34 AM
Author: Purple Supple Psychic

attn low attention span poasters read this whole thing pls

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Reputation#42376708)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 1:13 PM
Author: Low-t shrine

how

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Reputation#42377366)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 22nd, 2022 9:36 AM
Author: carnelian death wish spot



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Reputation#44722527)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:35 AM
Author: silver vengeful trailer park



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Reputation#42376711)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 12:00 PM
Author: Rough-skinned temple



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Reputation#42376866)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 12:01 PM
Author: Zombie-like doobsian base lettuce



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Reputation#42376872)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 3:27 PM
Author: French codepig



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Reputation#42378128)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 1st, 2021 9:20 PM
Author: Rough-skinned temple



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Reputation#42558237)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 22nd, 2022 10:00 AM
Author: Bonkers Aromatic School Digit Ratio



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Reputation#44008882)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 22nd, 2022 10:05 AM
Author: Rough-skinned temple

this is incredible

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Reputation#44008910)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 25th, 2022 1:39 PM
Author: Bonkers Aromatic School Digit Ratio



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Reputation#44032706)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 4th, 2022 12:31 PM
Author: Lascivious Judgmental Knife Tank



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Reputation#44453902)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 22nd, 2022 9:31 AM
Author: Fragrant pit foreskin

wow

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Reputation#44722507)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 22nd, 2022 9:34 AM
Author: deep new version clown



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Reputation#44722517)



Reply Favorite

Date: June 22nd, 2022 9:44 AM
Author: very tactful lay background story



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Reputation#44722548)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 10:49 AM
Author: awkward lake mad cow disease mental disorder

High | level | legal work

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Reputation#42376422)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 11:28 AM
Author: Chest-beating Exciting Step-uncle's House



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Reputation#42376672)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 10:55 AM
Author: Laughsome crackhouse

Each of A and B were driving in AREA. They both passed a car driven by C with D as a passenger.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Reputation#42376456)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 11:05 AM
Author: Bat-shit-crazy dog poop

A and B passed a car driven by C, who was transporting D as a passenger, as they drove through the X area.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Reputation#42376505)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 11:07 AM
Author: violent red menage

two people, a & b, drove past c driving with d in his car.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Reputation#42376517)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 11:13 AM
Author: sexy center

C and his passenger D were traveling in X area. A overtook and passed them. B overtook and passed them too.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Reputation#42376555)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 11:19 AM
Author: cyan party of the first part

As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car driven by C, which contained D as a passenger.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Reputation#42376600)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 11:24 AM
Author: bat shit crazy theater stage

Haven’t read any of the replies, so someone else may have made the same suggestion, but I’d go with:

While driving in the X area, A & B passed a car containing C (driver) and D (passenger).

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Reputation#42376651)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 11:27 AM
Author: French codepig

This was basically gromjoh's poast above except his was more concise.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Reputation#42376665)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:34 AM
Author: Bonkers Aromatic School Digit Ratio



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Reputation#42376704)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:40 AM
Author: silver vengeful trailer park



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Reputation#42376736)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 2:08 PM
Author: soggy fortuitous meteor public bath



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Reputation#42377648)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 22nd, 2022 10:01 AM
Author: Bonkers Aromatic School Digit Ratio



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Reputation#44008887)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:33 AM
Author: Snowy hyperventilating legend forum

writing MFE's, any resources on improving clunky writing? I recently jumped from GOV to tech

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Reputation#42376695)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:33 AM
Author: silver vengeful trailer park

Did you try the hydro hack?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Reputation#42376699)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:40 AM
Author: Sapphire Idiot

What’s that

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Reputation#42376738)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 11:41 AM
Author: silver vengeful trailer park

You should drink more water, you're probably dehydrated. This will, among other things, improve cognitive function and therefore improve your writing. While you're at it also check your posture I bet you're slouching right now.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Reputation#42376746)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 11:49 AM
Author: Purple Supple Psychic



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Reputation#42376800)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 1:17 PM
Author: wonderful kitty toilet seat

Just write in the active voice with short simple sentences, subject verb object. Not hard

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Reputation#42377389)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 1:16 PM
Author: wonderful kitty toilet seat

A and B saw C driving in X

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Reputation#42377381)



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Date: April 30th, 2021 1:28 PM
Author: adventurous famous landscape painting

andy and brad were driving around brooklyn when they passed carl and dave in their car.

this doesn't define who is driving and who is riding though.



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Reputation#42377449)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 1:38 PM
Author: Orchid travel guidebook

I am gay

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Reputation#42377484)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 3:36 PM
Author: French codepig

great thread

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Reputation#42378176)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 3:39 PM
Author: coiffed parlor

Shitty writing is putting too much into one sentence.

A and B were driving in the X area. [query: are they both driving separate cars?] C driving D passed them.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Reputation#42378186)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 30th, 2021 8:29 PM
Author: Cobalt Bearded Stage Wrinkle

A and C, drivers, were in different cars, driving through area X, and with them were B and D, passengers; B was with A while D was with C; A and B passed by C and D.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Reputation#42379691)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 2nd, 2021 12:50 PM
Author: Cobalt Bearded Stage Wrinkle



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Reputation#42387061)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 23rd, 2021 3:44 PM
Author: Cobalt Bearded Stage Wrinkle



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Reputation#42509184)



Reply Favorite

Date: May 2nd, 2021 12:36 PM
Author: silver vengeful trailer park

Where are we on this? Thank

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Reputation#42386977)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 22nd, 2022 10:06 AM
Author: carmine cracking filthpig

As A and B were driving in the X area, they passed a car driven by C in which D was a passenger.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Reputation#44008916)



Reply Favorite

Date: February 25th, 2022 1:44 PM
Author: curious rusted garrison feces

OP, does this help?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Reputation#44032743)



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Date: June 22nd, 2022 9:32 AM
Author: fishy hall

i don't think anyone reads shitlaw shitpaper so it doesn't matter. aren't state court judges borderline retarded?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Reputation#44722512)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 19th, 2026 12:23 PM
Author: provocative prole



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Reputation#49827186)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 19th, 2026 12:42 PM
Author: carmine cracking filthpig

"and containing D as" -> "in which D was", otherwise fine

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Reputation#49827205)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 19th, 2026 1:15 PM
Author: abusive yellow casino tattoo

Lots of helpful suggestions in this thread but I’m not sure we’ve got it figured out just yet. Let’s put a pin in it and move on. OP: what’s the next sentence?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Reputation#49827228)



Reply Favorite

Date: April 19th, 2026 2:57 PM
Author: provocative prole



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4823221&forum_id=2Reputation#49827363)