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Twas the Night Before Christmas (Peterman version)

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the J ...
pungent university
  12/03/18
...
pungent university
  12/03/18
TLDR but clearly you spent a lot of time on this, plz enjoy ...
crusty hot shrine
  12/03/18
ty!
pungent university
  12/03/18
jfc, this was 180. This is why I continue to visit this d...
grizzly arrogant puppy wrinkle
  12/03/18
...
crimson antidepressant drug
  12/24/21
...
red nursing home
  12/03/18
...
Thirsty flirting box office death wish
  12/03/18
...
Autistic Preventive Strike Library
  12/03/18
...
Big know-it-all hall
  12/03/18
...
grizzly arrogant puppy wrinkle
  12/03/18
...
pungent university
  12/07/18
...
Lavender Angry Home
  12/07/18
...
Wine haunted graveyard station
  12/07/18
...
aphrodisiac bipolar psychic
  12/07/18
...
khaki chapel new version
  12/07/18
...
pungent university
  12/14/18
...
pontificating internet-worthy knife
  12/14/18
...
pungent university
  12/24/18
...
red nursing home
  12/24/18
...
Concupiscible aqua site
  12/24/18
To be fair, What—a Jew lampooning Christmas in a vu...
sepia field voyeur
  12/24/18
120
chocolate den candlestick maker
  12/24/18
...
pungent university
  12/24/18
...
chocolate den candlestick maker
  12/24/18
...
irradiated ruddy casino newt
  12/24/18
...
pungent university
  12/24/18
...
vibrant principal's office
  12/24/18
Artistic gold tyvmft
soggy senate messiness
  12/24/18
...
pungent university
  12/16/21
...
Floppy Meetinghouse
  12/24/18
...
Razzle Menage Internal Respiration
  12/24/18
this was pretty good, nice work
medicated hell therapy
  12/24/18
~*Christmas in July bump*~
pungent university
  07/01/19
...
red nursing home
  07/01/19
...
red nursing home
  07/01/19
Early December Bump
pungent university
  12/10/19
getting close...
pungent university
  12/20/19
ding ding ding
pungent university
  12/24/19
...
Charismatic territorial idiot
  12/24/19
...
pungent university
  12/24/19
...
Arousing institution
  12/24/19
This deserves more bumps.
citrine hairraiser lettuce
  12/24/19
...
Lake tanning salon
  12/24/19
lost it at 8 tiny trans queers. still unmitigated 180
soggy senate messiness
  12/24/19
lol
pungent university
  12/24/19
This
crimson antidepressant drug
  12/24/21
Missed this the first time. Great work dude. 180
comical garnet area mother
  12/24/19
ty, labor of love
pungent university
  12/24/19
...
insane navy double fault
  12/24/19
...
pungent university
  12/24/19
lube up your chimneys!
pungent university
  12/24/19
pure gold 180
crimson antidepressant drug
  12/24/19
...
pungent university
  12/24/19
...
Motley ticket booth
  12/24/19
...
pungent university
  12/15/20
...
pungent university
  12/23/20
...
orange set shitlib
  12/24/20
It's time.
pungent university
  12/24/20
...
Wine haunted graveyard station
  12/24/20
...
pungent university
  12/16/21
...
irradiated ruddy casino newt
  12/16/21
...
orange set shitlib
  12/16/21
Chri$tmas $pirit
pungent university
  12/20/21
Lmao
Bossy dun digit ratio
  12/20/21
...
pungent university
  12/22/21
...
Bossy dun digit ratio
  12/22/21
...
salmon gas station
  12/24/21
...
crimson antidepressant drug
  12/25/23
...
grown men with poopy butt cracks
  12/25/25
...
nude butt cheeks
  12/25/25
...
constantscreen the great
  12/25/25


Poast new message in this thread



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 12:45 PM
Author: pungent university

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the J

Lots of truckers were hungry, much like any old day;

The rig pigs were hung, taking dick pics with care,

In hopes that St. Peterman soon would be there;

The truckers were horny, dicks throbbing and red ,

While visions of Peter’s plums danced in their heads;

And Earl in his 'kerchief, and I in my cap,

Had just settled down longing for Peterman’s gap,

When out on the lot there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from the truck to see what was the matter.

Away to the lot I flew like a flash,

Tore open my zipper in hope of fresh gash.

The moon on the breast of the softly lit J

Made the lot lizards glow, all looking to play,

When, what to my wandering eyes should appear,

But a beady-eyed Peterman, and eight tiny trans-queers,

With a little old driver, so lively and quick,

I knew in a moment this night would be sick.

More rapid than eagles out their trousers they came,

And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

"Now, FLASHER! now, DANCER! now, PRANCER and VIXEN!

On, ROCKET ! on CUPID! on, BONER and SHITZEN!

To the back of the truck! to the top of the wall!

Now suck away! suck away! fuck away all!"

As lubed holes that before the wild hurricane fly,

When they meet with a cock, were mounted to the sky,

So up to the truck-stops the trans-queers they flew,

With the sleigh full of boys, and St. Peterman too.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof

The prancing and pawing of each little poof.

As he jerked with his hand, and was turning around,

“Stuff my chimney!” said St. Peterman on the ground.

He was dressed all in latex, from his head to his foot,

His knees were all tarnished with ashes and soot;

A bundle of dildos he had flung on his back,

And he looked like a peddler just lifting his sac.

His eyes -- how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!

His cheeks were like roses, his boihole like a cherry!

His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,

And the beard of his chin had cum white as snow;

The stump of my pipe he held tight in his teeth,

And his lips did encircle its head like a wreath;

He had a broad face and a little round belly,

His broad backside shook like a bowlful of jelly.

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,

And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,

Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,

We filled all their “stockings” and had circle jerks,

And laying his finger aside of his nose,

A huge snort of cocaine billowed up and rose;

Then he sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,

And away they all pranced like the down of a thistle.

But I heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight,

"HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, CASH AND CHECKS ARE ALL-RIGHT!"

Happy December, Merry Christmas & Happy New Year.

Upset Jew, 12-03-2018



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#37342568)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:00 PM
Author: pungent university



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#37343357)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:04 PM
Author: crusty hot shrine

TLDR but clearly you spent a lot of time on this, plz enjoy this pity bump as my Chanukah present to you

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#37343380)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:10 PM
Author: pungent university

ty!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#37343413)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:16 PM
Author: grizzly arrogant puppy wrinkle

jfc, this was 180.

This is why I continue to visit this demented chatbort.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#37343471)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:53 PM
Author: crimson antidepressant drug



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#43670143)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:17 PM
Author: red nursing home



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#37343477)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:18 PM
Author: Thirsty flirting box office death wish



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#37343484)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:22 PM
Author: Autistic Preventive Strike Library



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#37343509)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:22 PM
Author: Big know-it-all hall



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#37343515)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 3rd, 2018 3:26 PM
Author: grizzly arrogant puppy wrinkle



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#37343539)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:35 AM
Author: pungent university



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#37367063)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:39 AM
Author: Lavender Angry Home



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#37367091)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:50 AM
Author: Wine haunted graveyard station



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#37367151)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:52 AM
Author: aphrodisiac bipolar psychic



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#37367159)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 7th, 2018 11:55 AM
Author: khaki chapel new version



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#37367178)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 14th, 2018 12:12 PM
Author: pungent university



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#37407273)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 14th, 2018 12:15 PM
Author: pontificating internet-worthy knife



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#37407292)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:40 AM
Author: pungent university



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#37462610)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:40 AM
Author: red nursing home



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#37462612)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:41 AM
Author: Concupiscible aqua site



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#37462615)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:44 AM
Author: sepia field voyeur

To be fair,

What—a Jew lampooning Christmas in a vulgar and sexually explicit manner for “laughs”? Why I’ve never

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#37462619)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:52 AM
Author: chocolate den candlestick maker

120

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#37462646)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 7:44 PM
Author: pungent university



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#37465688)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:47 AM
Author: chocolate den candlestick maker



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#37462629)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:54 AM
Author: irradiated ruddy casino newt



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#37462649)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:46 AM
Author: pungent university



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#37462815)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 8:02 PM
Author: vibrant principal's office



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#37465757)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:27 PM
Author: soggy senate messiness

Artistic gold tyvmft

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#37466002)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 12:45 PM
Author: pungent university



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#43619656)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:30 PM
Author: Floppy Meetinghouse



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#37466012)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:35 PM
Author: Razzle Menage Internal Respiration



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#37466032)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2018 9:38 PM
Author: medicated hell therapy

this was pretty good, nice work

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#37466049)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: pungent university

~*Christmas in July bump*~

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#38469719)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: red nursing home



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#38469721)



Reply Favorite

Date: July 1st, 2019 5:53 PM
Author: red nursing home



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#38469720)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 10th, 2019 9:37 AM
Author: pungent university

Early December Bump

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#39241607)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2019 12:21 PM
Author: pungent university

getting close...

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#39297740)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 12:18 AM
Author: pungent university

ding ding ding

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#39316620)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 12:38 AM
Author: Charismatic territorial idiot



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#39316668)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:42 AM
Author: pungent university



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#39317383)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:49 AM
Author: Arousing institution



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#39317409)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 8:52 AM
Author: citrine hairraiser lettuce

This deserves more bumps.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#39317415)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:07 AM
Author: Lake tanning salon



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#39317493)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:14 AM
Author: soggy senate messiness

lost it at 8 tiny trans queers. still unmitigated 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#39317523)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 10:57 AM
Author: pungent university

lol

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#39318060)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:54 PM
Author: crimson antidepressant drug

This

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#43670148)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 9:30 AM
Author: comical garnet area mother

Missed this the first time. Great work dude.

180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#39317610)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 10:58 AM
Author: pungent university

ty, labor of love

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#39318062)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 11:02 AM
Author: insane navy double fault



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#39318085)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 11:51 AM
Author: pungent university



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#39318318)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 1:48 PM
Author: pungent university

lube up your chimneys!

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#39318901)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 4:19 PM
Author: crimson antidepressant drug

pure gold 180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#39319682)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 5:57 PM
Author: pungent university



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#39320155)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2019 4:29 PM
Author: Motley ticket booth



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#39319749)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 15th, 2020 2:54 PM
Author: pungent university



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#41553760)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 23rd, 2020 1:37 PM
Author: pungent university



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#41603653)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 8:07 AM
Author: orange set shitlib



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#41608882)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 1:14 PM
Author: pungent university

It's time.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#41610330)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2020 1:19 PM
Author: Wine haunted graveyard station



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#41610375)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 10:44 AM
Author: pungent university



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#43618689)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 11:32 AM
Author: irradiated ruddy casino newt



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#43619119)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 16th, 2021 11:34 AM
Author: orange set shitlib



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#43619130)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2021 12:21 PM
Author: pungent university

Chri$tmas $pirit

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#43643241)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 20th, 2021 12:27 PM
Author: Bossy dun digit ratio

Lmao

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#43643299)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 22nd, 2021 5:59 PM
Author: pungent university



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#43658914)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 22nd, 2021 6:53 PM
Author: Bossy dun digit ratio



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#43659259)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 24th, 2021 4:49 PM
Author: salmon gas station



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#43670127)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2023 11:04 AM
Author: crimson antidepressant drug



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#47211358)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 2:14 AM
Author: grown men with poopy butt cracks



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#49538706)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 8:10 AM
Author: nude butt cheeks (✅🍑)



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#49538932)



Reply Favorite

Date: December 25th, 2025 8:14 AM
Author: constantscreen the great



(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=4147937&forum_id=2Reputation#49538935)