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PROTIP: use "Websters dictionary defines..." to start ur closing
| Umber wagecucks | 04/24/15 |
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| purple wonderful theater | 07/26/24 |
| Paralegal Adolf Hitler | 10/08/25 |
Poast new message in this thread
Date: April 24th, 2015 2:57 PM Author: Umber wagecucks It has a reputation now as this hackneyed expression, which is why it WORKS. The jury always perks up because it's so unexpected. Also it frames the issue very clearly: this is the plain definition, here are the facts, the facts don't match the accusation, acquittal. I literally bring a well-worn old dictionary and thump it onto the jury railing.
Prosecutors get flustered as FUCK and end up reacting to me rather than making their own case, and it makes them look gay as hell. They smirk or scoff, which makes them look like douches. They usually take time in their own closings to say something about "the defense counsel's old tricks and theatrics" but that just reminds the jury even more. |
Date: April 24th, 2015 3:13 PM Author: Pea-brained tripping church gunner (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2Reputation#27751815) |
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Date: April 24th, 2015 3:17 PM Author: Nubile cerebral foreskin fanboi (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2Reputation#27751846) |
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Date: April 24th, 2015 3:26 PM Author: bisexual chad mediation (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2Reputation#27751921) |
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Date: October 22nd, 2015 1:59 PM Author: azure address did this today (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2Reputation#29022119) |
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Date: October 22nd, 2015 3:23 PM Author: Marvelous hospital rigpig "A lot changed on 9/11..." (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2Reputation#29022597) |
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Date: October 22nd, 2015 3:24 PM Author: big pervert (guy who wrote a great college essay) (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2Reputation#29022604) |
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Date: October 22nd, 2015 3:25 PM Author: submissive coral meetinghouse mental disorder "Ladies and gentlemen of the jury..." *briefcase full of dictionaries falls open* (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2Reputation#29022609) |
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Date: October 22nd, 2015 3:31 PM Author: Histrionic garnet antidepressant drug selfie (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2Reputation#29022646) |
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Date: October 8th, 2025 8:52 PM Author: Word combinations (2 make yer heart skip) (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2Reputation#49335488) |
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Date: October 22nd, 2015 3:33 PM Author: Peach frozen tanning salon (high school debate semifinalist) (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2Reputation#29022657) |
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Date: May 16th, 2016 7:19 PM Author: Umber wagecucks (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2Reputation#30492581) |
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Date: May 16th, 2016 7:20 PM Author: Insane Associate Casino who the fuck was webster (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2Reputation#30492585) |
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Date: May 16th, 2016 7:25 PM Author: Umber wagecucks Noah Webster. Just some autistic bro who really liked words (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2Reputation#30492630) |
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Date: May 16th, 2016 7:27 PM Author: Insane Associate Casino whats his moniker (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2Reputation#30492644) |
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Date: December 28th, 2016 5:17 PM Author: fragrant station (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2Reputation#32250208) |
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Date: December 28th, 2016 5:18 PM Author: confused point 180 advice it will hit the jury like some sort of heavy book! (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2Reputation#32250216) |
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Date: December 28th, 2016 5:20 PM Author: Comical heaven community account "Urban dictionary defines 'STAY WOKE' as . . . " (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2Reputation#32250229) |
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Date: November 11th, 2020 11:38 PM Author: fragrant station (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2Reputation#41347456) |
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Date: July 26th, 2024 1:08 PM Author: purple wonderful theater (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2Reputation#47895234) |
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Date: October 8th, 2025 8:51 PM Author: Paralegal Adolf Hitler (✅🍑) (http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2862749&forum_id=2Reputation#49335487) |