Jessica Stoya replies to readers’ comments and suggestions.

Advice by Jessica Stoya

April 06, 202612:00 PM

Hey How to Do It,

Re Wants to Be Slut-Praised: I came across this column and wanted to share my experience. I just don’t continue to date guys who ask right off the bat or are fixated. It’s that simple. I’ve slept with hundreds of people, not just men, and I don’t go into it with my partners. It’s none of their business and irrelevant. I don’t ask them and wait a very long time if I tell them at all. I only told my ex-husband of six years once, and we were both drunk, and he doesn’t remember the number. We laughed about it later, I still didn’t tell him again, and we’re still friends.

If they ask within the first few dates, they’re judging, and I’m not interested in that kind of judgment. Being intolerant of those types of questions and tests has really helped me to only have amazing relationships with people who don’t care about anything other than how I treat them. I’m also typically monogamous and ethical about any type of relationship I’m in, so I understand what the letter writer means. It probably helps that I’m an adult entertainer, so I have developed hard boundaries on conversations and ending dates. It’s a lot of weeding people out, but worth just saying bye as soon as they ask those types of things. I’m 36 and haven’t been able to salvage a connection after they ask intrusive, invasive questions to judge me or my sexuality. Never. It sucks when they’re cute and seem nice, but I’ve always had a cuter, nicer one come along immediately after. You just have to learn to be strict on calling it and moving on.

—Frequent Reader

Bravo. And thank you for your individual take on the efficiency strategy that Rich and I often recommend in the early stages of dating—I think the more perspectives available on the value of that, the more easily folks internalize the fact that there are mindsets other than scarcity in these matters.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5854302&forum_id=2Reputation#49798700)

man women sure are retarded and lame as hell

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5854302&forum_id=2Reputation#49798702)

check yoself, nigger

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5854302&forum_id=2Reputation#49802024)

lmao you fucking assclown

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5854302&forum_id=2Reputation#49805310)

porn stars literally having TV shows, women literally walking about nude in public like its nbd in all major Anglosphere cities, onlyfans zeitgeist, etc.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=5854302&forum_id=2Reputation#49802028)