She is 5'6", roughly 110 pounds, with uncontrollably frizzy waist-length dark hair. She wears oval-shaped glasses with thick black plastic frames. She enjoys finding new and exciting happy hours with her best friends, but she secretly wishes she was doing something more closely related to her real passion: access to clean water as a basic human right.

Get a few drinks into her, and this secret wish becomes not so secret.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2493468&forum_id=2#25010256)

While she applied to almost every Congressional Democrat, she was unable to find a paid staffer position. A liberal Congressman from California did, however, offer her an unpaid volunteer position working in correspondence. She did this for six months while her parents paid all of the rent for her Columbia Heights basement unit.

Finally, her big break came: a friend from back west got her a job working at a polling company. Today, she works four days a week promoting her company via Social Media, making posts and tweets that she hopes will get read by people running for state senate, state judgeships, and perhaps even a state comptroller position. These are the types of races her company specializes in doing internal polls for. She hopes to get a masters degree that will let her work on the polling side.

She has fallen in love with Ethiopian food since moving to the "DMV" as she now calls it. This habit allows her to amply fill out the size 8 black dress she will wear to her first date with you.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2493468&forum_id=2#25010310)

anyone who is actually familiar with DC is fucking LOLing at this, i promise you.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2493468&forum_id=2#25010466)

Then you see her. She smiles at you, then darts her head away when she sees you smile back. You'll learn that her name is Analisa, but she goes by "Lis" which is pronounced like lease.

She is 5'4", with curly brown hair. Her snow-pale skin is broken only by a few freckles on her cheeks. She is wearing very dark blue jeans, but they let you see that she is very bottom heavy and probably around 135 lbs.

As you make conversation between turns throwing the bocce ball, you learn that she works as an administrative assistant at the nearby FDIC, helping a team of government economists buy proprietary data for their research and other such tasks. She graduated from Rutgers in 2010 and worked for Senator Frank Lautenberg until his recent death. She raves about the better hours at the executive branch and how fulfilling it is to work to protect the safety and soundness of the American banking system, because she knows that some of the people who work for her dad's company lost their houses in the great recession.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2493468&forum_id=2#25010377)

8

0

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2493468&forum_id=2#25010390)

With every ounce of her 5'8", 145 lbs frame and every fiber of her bright red but just-so-noticeably thinning hair she feels superior to anyone working on domestic policy. You work on the problems of one country? Great - she has to understand the complex interrelations between state and non-state actors on an entire continent. Plus, odds are she has traveled more often than you. Her passport has so many stamps that she's needed to order extra pages.

Her other passion is knitting. Every man she has ever dated, even for just a few weeks, has a slightly asymmetric gray scarf that she made. The Mormon couple down the hallway from her apartment near K and 23rd recently had a baby and she has knit the baby several small sweaters. She excitedly shows you pictures of the baby on her iPhone on her first date and explains "Isn't Ashlynn adorable?!"

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2493468&forum_id=2#25010420)

Wishing for more than this provincial life, she came to Washington at age 21 to work as an au pair for a wealthy couple in Chevy Chase - the Maryland side of Chevy Chase, no less.

Her OKCupid profile picture is, of course, her on the median at the corner of Pennsylvania and 7th, with the US Capitol Dome prominent in the background. If you can look past her not-perfect-straight teeth and her generous double chin, you see some pretty massive T&A.

She shows up to your first date wearing a white blouse and jeans instead of traditional Bavarian dress (German stereotype #1 busted). She has jet black hair (German stereotype #2 busted) and instead of two pigtails she has her pair pulled back into a single ponytail (German stereotype #3 busted). As you check her out en route to drinks, you note that if the condom breaks you might end up with an NFL offensive lineman son, and that would be kind of cool, you guess.

She totally seems DTF, but after the third beer she gets a call on her cell phone. The ringtone is some real UNTZ UNTZ UNTZ techo shit (German stereotype #1 confirmed). She listens to somebody talk on the other side, then says "ja, ja!" and smiles. She gets up to leave. "Sorry my dear," she says in accented English. "Carl Spackler called."

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2493468&forum_id=2#25011071)

Her almost comically tall, lanky frame is further exaggerated by the turtleneck sweaters she constantly wears. She always refers to Obamacare as the "Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act" and she loves to pooh-pooh American politics as less functional and more right-wing than Canadian politics. But her true passion is bagels. But NOT New York style bagels! She finds those repulsive. Only MONTREAL STYLE BAGELS are acceptable, and unfortunately she can't find a good place to get them in DC.

Don't know anything about Montreal-style bagels? It's OK. She has a stock 15 minute lecture that she would love to give you over drinks at Bar DuPont.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2493468&forum_id=2#25011133)

She is a big, stocky girl with dark blonde hair. She is only 26, but her skin looks not a day under 30. She tends bar in Adams Morgan, but spends her days off at the Raven Bar and Grill in Columbia Heights.

All she really wants is a big, burly guy with tattoos and a solid blue collar job. But the lack of white blue collar jobs in DC has hit her hard, forcing her to go on hopeless dates with skinnyfat twinks whom she can never bring herself to like. (Plenty of black guys are interested in her, but she "doesn't find them attractive" if you know what I mean). Already tipsy, she looks at you from the end of the bar, wondering if you are worth hitting on. She's leaning no...but maybe after a few more drinks.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2493468&forum_id=2#25011173)

Becca graduated from the University of Chicago with a degree in physics last year. She struggled in some of her less quantitative classes and so wasn't able to get a job out of UG. She lives in her parent's basement in Bethesda and is currently working on grad school applications. She rocked the GREs and will be leaving town soon, her remaining goal is to find a short-term boyfriend, one she will consider her first. She did date a few guys in college, but they were all too shy to touch her.

Becca nervously plays with her hair while studying the menu. She makes an ice-breaker about how the last two digits of the price of each dish form a pattern. She then orders a salad, again because her mom told her to act more like a girl.

Her voice is fairly nasal, but with a reasonably pleasant monotone. You chat about various things - mostly physics related things, as you strain to remember AP science from high school and not embarrass yourself. Finally, you make a flirty joke. She smiles and says "excuse me", leaving to go to the bathroom. Except what's actually happening is she is having a panic attack because she is overwhelmed by the idea of a guy being into her, and by the time you realize this she is already headed home on the Red Line.

Her purse is still under her chair, though.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2493468&forum_id=2#25011241)

LOL

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2493468&forum_id=2#25012915)

But she won't talk about that over middle eastern small plates on your first date. She will talk about the half-marathon she just ran in Crystal City, or the full marathon she ran in California a few months ago. Or she might tell you how she can't wait to go hiking in the Shenandoah Valley this spring. She regularly wears sweat pants that say "CORNELL" across her small but firm ass. She has opinions on how the construction of the Purple Line might affect running trails and Rock Creek Park.

Throughout the evening, you can sense that she is feeling out how much you exercise, whether you can keep up with her. In your heart, you know you can't. You're nervous. You drop your fork, you spill your tea. She asks you how nice of a bike you own.

You're done here.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2493468&forum_id=2#25012381)

Currently, she works as an unpaid tour guide at the Holocaust Museum, telling groups of middle schoolers every day about the horrors of mass murder. She's looking for a job as a "writer" though, and her fresh face and 5'2, 110 lbs body in a red dress or stylish pantsuit is enough to get her multiple interviews at advocacy groups on K Street or in Georgetown that send out glossy materials to donors and need somebody to proofread them. Alas, the lack of experience on her resume is not enough to get her a paying gig.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2493468&forum_id=2#25012579)

BAH and IBM have a range of consulting services, some good, some bad. ALL chill.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2493468&forum_id=2#25010586)

The fed gov staff augmentation type consultants (basically temp workers) are the shit consultants I am thinking of.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2493468&forum_id=2#25010601)

he should probably do a kickstarter campaign so he can just do this full time

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2493468&forum_id=2#25010581)

anyway, that thread was 180, mad props

(so is this one)

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2493468&forum_id=2#25010636)

When not plotting her exit strategy (if she decides not to stay) she likes to organize happy hours for young professionals, always at one of the districts hottest, just-opened restaurants with what passes for a celebrity chef in the area. She tries to meet 1-2 new people at each happy hour, but mostly just spends the time with her three closest friends, who help her organize things and ran a half-marathon with her recently.

Dani has rescheduled her first date with you twice already, and you just got a text message saying "sorry running late at work, are you free Tuesday at 8 PM :("

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2493468&forum_id=2#25012627)

180^180

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2493468&forum_id=2#25012653)

Question for FlyFisher, et al: what the HELL makes these girls tick? Where the fuck do they go in life?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2493468&forum_id=2#25012965)

a lot of them are just recent grads who are hyper career oriented. i think most of them (and men too) realize after a few years that your job only takes you so far in making you happy and people start to think more broadly about what to do. the ones that don't think about this are strivers 4 lyfe and become partners at McK and biglaw.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2493468&forum_id=2#25013054)

1. What percent "don't think about this" and end up being the strivers 4 lyfe?

2. What do the ones who do think about it end up doing?

Actually a third: doesn't pretty much every 20-something in DC eventually leave and no one sticks around?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2493468&forum_id=2#25013678)

sales

real estate appraiser

white house chief of staff

biglawyer

marketing for music venue

pr for a nonprofit

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2493468&forum_id=2#25014097)

1. probably not too many, striving/grinding in a professional services environment tends to suck, especially for girls.

2. probably same shit as everyone else--less stressful govt/non profit jobs, totally different career path, whatever.

it seems like a lot of people end up staying. lots of people do stuff that can only be done in DC. it is very transient though with people moving in and out, lots of people come down for 2 years and rotate out to grad school.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2493468&forum_id=2#25014216)

That's what my buddy said. He likes his job but hates that it forces him to be in the DMV for the rest of his life. He's single and late-20s, so dating has been a total drag. I tell him to just be thankful he's got a good job in a city that can withstand recessions.

ty for the 180 commentary

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2493468&forum_id=2#25014271)

At first, Rachel was the epitome of a trendy young DC girl. She knew about all the gourmet cupcake places. She knew about all the great Happy Hours. When food trucks started getting big in late 2010, she followed Sauca and other early trucks on Twitter and told everyone at her office when they were near.

But as her relationship with Jonathan (a Mayer Brown junior associate) went into its second and third year, she slowly lost interest in these youthful frivolities. As they went on their second and then their third international trip together (hiking in Spain! climbing Machu Picchu!) She started browsing online jewelry sites, learning more about engagement rings and wedding dresses.

She took Jonathan to meet the family one fateful December in 2013. Her nephew Jayson was there, just 6 months old. She forced Jonathan to play with Jayson for over an hour. Afterwards, Jonathan started acting weird, acting scared. A week later, he broke up with her, saying he wasn't ready for a serious relationship.

Rachel is sitting across the bar from you, wearing a dark blue dress and a very ornate necklace. She takes a glance at you, keeps her eyes on you for a few seconds to see if you look back. You don't. She looks down again, and takes another sip of Stella.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2493468&forum_id=2#25020125)

*goes and talks to her*

*her fat friend steps in*

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2493468&forum_id=2#25027800)

By casually name-dropping her employer, Kate has an endless stream of ambitious 20-something guys messaging her on both OKCupid and Jdate asking if she can show her around her work cafeteria. She is happy to agree.

Unfortunately, all these guys have flaws. Bill wasn't active enough. Taylor went hiking every weekend and sent her beautiful pictures of mountaintops on the Appalachian Trail, but he was so one-dimensional. Jared was cute, but his hairline was clearly starting to recede. Rob was really smart, but he didn't seem to have any real intellectual interests outside of the statistical analysis of basketball. And basketball isn't even played in that many countries!

Kate sees you at the bar during Sunday brunch at Brasserie Beck. She likes the way your sportcoat matches your shirt - you're really good at matching patterns, she will shortly tell you. Which flaw will she discover a week later?

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2493468&forum_id=2#25020231)

this is fucking genius as well

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2493468&forum_id=2#25012711)

Another I'd like to see is Rachel Steinberg from Potomac who went to UW-Madison or UMich then moved into "The District" and lives in a 2600/mo 1 bedroom near K Street and is an editorial assistant's assistant at the Washingtonian. Her father, Harold Steinberg (Syracuse '68, Georgetown Law '71) is a shareholder at a telecommunications and utilities boutique law firm. He floated his daughter's name to Sharon Berkowitz at Shabbat dinner as Sharon's daughter works in HR for the Washingtonian.

(http://www.autoadmit.com/thread.php?thread_id=2493468&forum_id=2#25012959)